In Which I Rank the Months, Because Why Not

In order from best to worst:

1. October: Halloween. Cool weather. Foliage.

2. May: My birthday. Spring in full bloom. Memorial Day starts summer.

3. December: Come on, it’s the holidays.

4. September: Start of the school year (traditional). Football, if you care.

5. June: Summer’s nice month.

6. November: The middle child of the 4th quarter. Thanksgiving in the US.

7. April: Usually Easter. Usually somewhat green.

8. January: New year, but first half feels like December’s hangover.

9. February: Screw you, Valentine’s Day, don’t tell me how to feel.

10. July: July 4th plus two weeks of errant fireworks.

11. August: Summer’s asshole month.

12. March: Drunks and mud.

Your rankings belong in the comments.

77 Comments on “In Which I Rank the Months, Because Why Not”

  1. I am surprisingly unable to argue with that, except to feel like February should be a bit closer to the bottom. I might flip June and November too, maybe.

  2. Ha! Agree on some.
    1. October, because Samhain! And rain! YAY!
    2. November, because we’re further away from summer, which I don’t like.
    3. December. Holidays. ‘Nuff said.
    4. September. Finally, summer’s last hurrah and things feel like they’re getting back to normal. Publishing begins to move again.
    5. January. My birthday. New year. Love that new feeling.
    6. April. Almost spring here. Need a little brightness after months of gloom.
    7. May. Spring. Growing things. I can still look forward to summer.
    8. March. Teeny tiny buds on the trees. YAY spring is on the way!
    9. June. Summer! Still cool enough to enjoy.
    10. February. Bleaksville.
    11. July. Why did I think I wanted summer? Mistake already.
    12. August. I hate summer. Can it die already?

  3. Here’s mine:

    1: November: Thanksgiving, pumpkins, cool weather.

    2: October: Kickoff to fall, the best season, Halloween.

    3: September: Football starts, summer winds down.

    4: December: The holidays, snow, and family.

    5: April: Hey look, Spring is in full effect.

    6: May: Spring warms up and things begin to feel like summer, my wedding anniversary.

    7: February: My birth month.

    8: March: Moody, cool, and rainy.

    9: January: Kickoff to the new year.

    10: June: Summer is in effect, the world is alive.

    11: August: Oh man, it’s still hot. Someone stop it.

    12: July: It feels like the world is on fire.

  4. 1. July – height of summer. Heat, warm winds.
    2. June – beginning of summer.
    3. August – ending of summer.
    4. September – a lingering of summer.
    5. May – promise of summer with warmer weather.
    6. April – hint of summer with some pleasantly warm surpises.
    7. October – starting to get cold but not there yet.
    8. March – might as well be February, but my birthday.
    9. November – might as well be December.
    10. December – cold as a Tibetan hell, but presents too.
    11. February – cold as a Tibetan hell.
    12. January – cold as a Tibetan hell.

  5. April: Usually vacation month – WOOOOOO
    May: Wedding anniversary, wife’s birthday, mother’s Day, child #4 Birthday, Nurse’s Day (lots of flowers get purchased in May)
    February: My birthday month, plus a school vacation week here in NH – makes up for Winter’s cold grip of doom
    November: child #1 & 3 birthdays, Thanksgiving and on the 5th, political commercials and robocalls finally stop (except for years prior to presidential elections, dammit).
    October: costumes! Pretty trees!
    September: Kids start school
    December: Holidays – nice to see family, but stressful
    July: Is OK except for the obligatory annual beach trip (sandy, crowded, and hot, but at least it’s expensive)
    January: Snow snow snow, cold cold cold – but, Child #2 birthday
    June: Usually a business travel month for me, so ugh
    August: Pavement melts
    March: Sleet sleet sleet, mud mud mud

    Of course, every month has something going for it – I prefer cool weather, but June, July, and August have barbecues and pool parties. On the other hand, April is great, but also has Tax Day. So, it’s a little hard to rate each month as a whole. Except March, because fuck March, seriously.

  6. 1. July. Because it’s about as far away from winter as you get
    2. June. Summer starts!
    3. August. Still not winter!
    4. May. My birthday, things are green again
    5. October. Halloween. Pretty autumn colours
    6. November. Cold and yuck, but NaNoWriMo
    7. September. Still not winter
    8. April. My kiddo’s bday, winter’s usually dead (you’re maybe seeing the pattern?)
    9. March. Spring starts (even if it is all drunks and mud). So much hope carried by this month!
    10. December. Xmas is nice, but winter starts. Hiss. Boo!
    11. February. January’s whiny little brother.
    12. January. Feels approximately 8 months long. Colder than absolute zero. Kill me now.

    I have SAD and live in the frosty wastes of Canadaland so not-winter is everything to me.

  7. 1) October: Halloween
    2) December: winter
    3) September: Birthday
    4) June: summer holiday
    5) April: April rain
    6) November: calm, under appreciated.
    7) January: new year
    8) August: almost fall
    9) July: summer heat
    10) May: Right before summer holidays
    11) February: no just no
    12) March: work exhaustion

  8. I agree on most, but in recent years July and August have moved up a bit because I now grow food plants and they mostly start producing then. So there’s that excitement to counter the heat. Around here June has of recent years been unexpectedly hot, while August hasn’t been as bad as usual. Also, my commute is a bit easier in the summer when school’s out.

    February and January have slid to the bottom for me now that I own a house and have to shovel and we’ve had two brutal winters in a row.

    So I would probably go:
    March (it’s this high because I often take vacations in March to enjoy off-season pricing)

  9. 1. October: Hockey, Thanksgiving, Halloween, cooler weather.
    2. June: My birthday. End of a recurring volunteering gig so I have nights off again.
    3. April: SPRING. Easter. Not cold. (although: end of regular-hockey, so. :( )
    4. May: Wind up of the volunteering stuff.
    5. July: Canada Day, Camping.
    6. December: Holidays/parties/family/etc.
    7. March: Less cold.
    8. August: More camping. Brother’s birthday.
    9. September: … Fall drinks appear? I dunno.
    10. November: Getting colder. Rememberance Day. Blah.
    11. February: Fuck you, Valentine’s Day. I’ll buy myself flowers and chocolate the day after and get ’em hella cheap.
    12. January: Fuck you -40. Fuck you.

  10. I suspect preferred order is somewhat regionally biased, with my bias the PNW.

    1. July. Typically warmest summer month.
    2. August. Also good warm month, but possibly getting cooler at the end.
    3. June. Can be warm, but often overcast, so ranks lowest of summer months.
    4. May. Warming up with longer days, and lots of blooms, but still lots of rain.
    5. September. Starting to rain (not so much this year), but still has some nice warm sunny days.
    6. October. Can rain, but can still nice, with fall color.
    7. April. Not so miserably cold, less rain than March, spring bulbs blooming.
    8. November. Rainy season in earnest, but still some crisp clear days. Thanksgiving! My favorite holiday! The day devoted to the overconsumption of food and alcohol, with no guilt, gifts, religion, or annoying songs on the radio over and over again. Yay!
    9. February. January’s over, so there’s that, and that’s it.
    10. March. Less cold, but it rains all the freaking time in March.
    11. January. Cold. Wet. Dark. Freaking cold. Wet. Wet. Maybe snow. Wet. Dark.
    12. December. Windstorms. Cold. Dark. Wet. Miserable. And Christmas. I hate Christmas.

  11. July’s a favorite for me because it’s the middle of my vacation. September is also a favorite because it’s the start of a new school year and always feels so full of hope and promise. May is awesome because of spring, my wedding anniversary, and my husband’s birthday. I totally agree that February is just a colossal waste of time.

  12. 1 – October. Beautiful leaf color, cool crisp weather, soups start reappearing on our family dinner menus, Halloween.
    2 – September. Early leaf color, less oppressive heat than summer, most years (not this one) work is starting to ease off a little.
    3 – November. Thanksgiving, family, beloved traditions.
    4 – December. Holidays, family, the first snow of the year (I usually like the first few snowfalls).
    5 – April. The start of shirtsleeve weather, burgeoning green everywhere I look, early flowers, first outdoor Farmers’ Market starts again.
    6 – May. More green things emerge, usually not too hot to bear.
    7 – March. Usually warmer than the depths of winter.
    8 – February. We usually get one snow day off work, which is nice. Otherwise, meh.
    9 – January. We sometimes get a snow day off work. Otherwise, brrr.
    10 – June. Starts getting too warm for me, and work sucks.
    11 – August. Way too hot, and work sucks big-time.
    12 – July. Way, way too %($# hot, and work sucks giant rocks through a bendy straw.

    The three bottom ones may move up a little if I can ever afford to retire. At this point, though, that looks unlikely, so this ranking is likely to remain for the foreseeable future.

  13. Dude, November is the most depressing month of the year, if you are SAD affected and/or live in a northerly clime. (It’s the month that gives Denmark, happiest country in the world, one of the highest suicide rates!) In November, there’s no holiday cheer yet (okay, Thanksgiving, but it’s at the very end and usually involves a travel nightmare for like half a day of moderately enjoyable times +/- annoying relatives), usually no beautiful blanket of snow yet, just grey and cold blowing gales and bare trees and no sun. I’d probably put it last; at least March has Pi Day (and my wedding anniversary!).

  14. April: My annuity payment arrives!
    September: My birthday. Also, fall and cider.
    October: Samhain and Halloween. Stews and hard cider.
    August: Pennsic; camping & seeing old friends.
    May: Weather finally starts to be nice
    June: Local produce that isn’t lettuce at the Farmers Markets
    July: Possible camping trips, but also endless lawn nowing
    December: Yule celebrations
    November: Endless leaf raking. Why did I think these trees were a good idea?
    March: Rain, icy slush Yech
    January: Arisia is the bright spot. Otherwise bitter cold, endless shoveling
    February: Much too long

  15. From England:

    1. May – the loveliest month
    2. September – often have a late summer this month. Plus birthday
    3. October – gorgeous autumn colours
    4. April – the promise of spring
    5. June – next best summer month after May
    6. February – the days start to lengthen noticeably
    7. July – can be nice, can be too hot
    8. November – still some autumn colour
    9. March – raw weather
    10. December – Christmas can be nice, but the month is a lot of work
    11. August – days start to shorten, a stuffy-feeling month, summer ending
    12. January – dark, grim..

  16. Not a ranking, but I immediately thought of this: A Song of the Weather, from “At the Drop of a Hat” by Flanders and Swan:

    January brings the snow,
    Makes your feet and fingers glow.

    February’s ice and sleet,
    Freeze the toes right off your feet.

    Welcome, March, with wint’ry wind,
    Would thou wert not so unkind.

    April brings the sweet spring showers,
    On and on for hours and hours.

    Farmers fear unkindly May,
    Frost by night and hail by day.

    June just rains and never stops,
    Thirty days and spoils the crops.

    In July the sun is hot,
    Is it shining?
    No it’s not!

    August, cold and dank and wet,
    Brings more rain than any yet.

    Bleak September’s mist and mud,
    Is enough to chill the blood.

    Then October adds a gale,
    Wind and slush and rain and hail.

    Dark November brings the fog,
    Should not do it to a dog.

    Freezing wet December, then…
    Bloody January again!

  17. April. MY birthday month. And April Fool’s Day (often more interesting in concept than execution, but still).
    Beyond that, summer is my favorite season because I hate the cold. Too lazy to rank the rest of the months, but I can relate to loving October for Halloween & autumn glory.

  18. Best to worst:

    May: Our anniversary and our daughter’s birthday plus spring
    June: Long days and usually lovely warm weather
    September: My birthday and usually lovely warm weather
    July: Relaxed summer schedule for 2 of 3 family members means more relaxing for me, too
    August: Same as July plus usually take a week off
    October: Foliage and Halloween
    November: Thanksgiving
    December: Christmas
    March: Getting closer to spring
    January: Long, bitterly cold, snowing, but at least it starts with a day off
    February: Looks all innocent on the calendar with its 28 days and a heart in the middle, but it’s an absolute bear of a month where I live

  19. Why the heck not? It sounds like more fun than cleaning my bedroom, which is what I am theoretically supposed to be doing.

    1 – April – I love watching the way the world comes back to life, weather back and forth, as if summer and winter were playing tug of war for control. It makes me all nostalgic. Possibly because of a Rod McKuen poem about being an “April Man”.
    2 – September – September is the most rollercoaster-y of all the months for me, containing both my son’s birthday and the date of my father’s passing. But somehow, all that emotion, even through the up and down, and even the pain, is an experience that is ripe with life and intensity.
    3 – December – Christmas became magical to me as an adult when I became a mom, regaining much of it’s childhood splendor because I seemed to watch it through his eyes now. Also, driving around on a snowy night looking at Christmas lights on the trees and houses.
    4 – June – It’s been forever since I was in school, but there is still a feeling of imminent release into summer that lingers, forever associated with June for me. It still feels like anticipation.
    5 – January – It has my birthday, but that’s honestly not really why I even like it. I like the feeling of winter having completely sunk into the land, the air, the water; a feeling of deep, deep night.
    6 – October – My husband would dress up in costumes every day of his life if it were socially acceptable for him to do so, so Halloween is a lot of fun at my house. He and the kiddo both end up with like 7 different costumes that they are wearing around the house all month.
    7 – July – July makes me lazy and nocturnal. I want to lay around and do nothing, and sleep through the day and stay up all night, sitting on my bench swing in the backyard, chain smoking and looking up at the stars, or into the darkness of the woods. July nights are hot enough that I would stay outside all night every night if I could.
    8 – May – I love the weather but the month doesn’t do much for me in and of itself, other than one distinct pleasant anniversary.
    9 & 10 – February and March – Both months make me restless, somehow subtly agitated under my skin. No idea why.
    11 – August – I have multiple family birthdays in that month, and it’s back to school, and it’s just non stop wall to wall busy every year. Makes me want a month long nap afterwards.
    12 – November – All about endings, loss, and entropy, and the bleakness of the weather kind of seeps into me.

    Interesting prompt. Thanks!

  20. Because I’m in Phoenix, my current ranking would be:

    1. November – Holidays begin and the weather has finally left “hell-mode”.
    2. December – There might be one or two cold evenings and holidays, which are actually sort of depressing without snow but it’s manageable. Also, you get to watch native Arizonans put on their big boots, mittens, hats and big puffy jackets when it’s 50 out. We also might get rain! which I enjoy.
    3. March – The last respite before it gets hot. Warm days and cool evenings, no complaints.
    4. February – It’s beginning to get warmer but definitely decent weather.
    5. January – Similar to December but not quite as festive.
    10.October – There is a slight chance it won’t be super hot in October. Also, halloween with little kids is fun.
    11. April – There is also a slight chance of non super hot days. And, some personal milestones are in April.
    12. May/June/July/August/September is “hell-mode”. It’s either too hot to do anything and it’s all the same season.

  21. 1. June – Generally great weather, not too hot
    2. July – like June, ony hotter
    -. August – see July
    4. May – full bloom of spring
    5. April – my birthday, plus Spring!
    6. March – ♫ Here comes the sun ♫
    7. September – Still warm
    8. December – A magical, colorful Winter Wonderland!
    9. October – Winter Is Coming
    10. November – Winter Is Almost Here
    11. January – A cold, gray bucket of suck.
    –. February – see January

  22. Classically, a Tanka and a Haiku should have a season. But “season” is elastic, in the Orient. Hiroshima day is a season. First day of college is a season. The day a love one dies is a season.

    Metasonnet: “Day Mom Died”
    by Jonathan Vos Post
    It becomes a season:
    Day Mom Died —
    Night Dad Died —
    a season of frozen sunlight
    like Hiroshima Day
    As surf rolls in
    breakfast with Portuguese fishermen
    asking: “Have you read
    a good book lately?
    Listened to beautiful music?”
    Numbing myself with a calculator
    at the funeral
    the wake, flowers,
    corpse, lobster rolls
    8:23 a.m.
    Friday 7 August 2015
    2 Tankas + 1 Quatrain = 1 Sonnet

  23. It depends on where I live. This is my ranking for New York… I would have ranked the months differently when living in Colorado. (The tied months probably would have actually gotten on the chart, because I dislike New York almost as much as I dislike Christmas.)

    1. June: School’s out (I work at a college), the weather is often warm enough and hardly ever horribly humid.

    2. July: School’s still out, it’s almost always warm enough and not always horribly humid.

    3. August: School’s still out! It’s sometimes deliciously hot, although it’s almost always accompanied by seriously unpleasant humidity.

    4. May: Winter is over! Although school is still in session, everyone has the Summer Is Coming excitement.

    5. September: Although winter is coming, the students are still excited enough about being on campus that there are many good vibes.

    6. April: Well, I have a birthday, but I do not trust that winter is over. Please just DIE, Winter.

    7. October: Yeah, Halloween! Costumes! Candy corn! But WINTER IS HERE.

    666 (or 9.99e+25 when Depression Is Lying). (TIE)
    January: FUCK YOU, JANUARY! Cold, miserable, and you killed my daughter.
    February: You have one redeeming feature (you’re short), and that’s not good enough because YOU STILL HAVE WINTER.
    November: I hate you, Christmas. I hate you already.
    December: Oh, how I hate you, Christmas. And fuck you, December, for killing my other daughter.

    (And as I review this list, I see a very compelling argument for getting the heck out of New York. Why did I ever think I would like it here? Oh, wait… I never thought that. Ah ha! Colorado, sweetie… I’m coming home!)

  24. Glenn Glazer:

    Just because you throw a party in Summer’s Asshole Month doesn’t mean that the Month isn’t the Asshole of Summer; it just means you’re throwing a party.

  25. 1. October: Halloween
    2. (tie) January, February, March, April, May, June, July, August, September, November, December: not Halloween.

  26. Being farther north than most:
    June — long days, the start of summer
    September — this feels like the new year to me, energy and new beginnings
    August — everything is maturely alive, hot but the bugs are mostly gone
    July — because I never get too much summer
    December — presents and good cheer; Xmas music!
    April — might be the cruelest month but it is also my birthday
    October — foliage, Canadian thanksgiving and Halloween
    May — flowers are appearing in force
    February — cold, nasty but short, when I usually take a sun vacation
    March — will this winter never end!!!
    January — short days, cold winds and the post-holiday blues
    November — fall’s over, winter not yet here but cold, dreary, bleak, but at least I’m still alive.

  27. 1. April: My birthday. Everything good about the year is still ahead. It is not dark. There is likely Easter chocolate. This month has the 100th day of the year. Also, notoriously the cruelest month. WHO DOESN’T LIKE CRUELTY.

    2. June: Best of months in every weathery regard. Warmness. The most light. You can actually swim in a lake.

    3. May: Pretty damn pleasant, if a little chilly. Still much to look forward to.

    4. July: At least one day of the fireworks is awesome, though the rest of y’all need to stop. Everyone else looks miserable, but HEAT YAY.

    5. September: This month is acceptably warm and pretty.

    6. August: Hot, and still better than 50% of the other months.

    7. October: Pumpkin spice nonsense kills my soul, but at least it’s not stupid cold yet.

    8. November: It’s getting dark. At least it’s not super cold. I seems to always get goose poop on my shoes in this month, what the hell.

    9. March: Cold, muddy, snowy, and super misleading with that whole “first day of spring” thing. Cabin fever.

    10. December: It’s like… dark.

    11. January: Is this month a joke? I’m pretty sure it’s a joke. A 31-day joke from a jerk.

    12. February: That’s some bullshit right there.

  28. Southern hemisphere perspective:

    1) February – Late summer, The heat has peaked and is starting the downwards slide. The Kids are back at school. Also my Birthday.
    2) March – The wonderful late summer transition into early autumn. And wedding anniversary.
    3) November – The spring version of March (less the wedding anniverary)
    4) October – Spring is definitely here. and the public holiday makes up for the arrival of hayfever
    5) April – Birthdays, Easter and ANZAC Day. The weather is still pretty good
    6) July – Even though its cold and the weather is generally rubbish, its the Kid’s birthday and the midwinter school break, which means potential for a trip to the snow (yes, I live far enough away from the stuff that visiting it is a bonus)
    7) December – Hot, overcrowded (both shops and beaches) and bombarded with rank commercialism. But Holidays.
    8) January – Hot, hot, hot – But holidays and the local folk festival lift its ranking
    9) May – totally unremarkable, but not as sucky as other months
    10) June – Only gets this high due to a public holiday. Starting to regret being mean about January’s weather
    11) September – like August but closer to spring
    12) August -The bleak midwinter without any redeeming features (like holidays)

  29. This post, and these comments, make it vary apparent that particular people live in particular places.

  30. 1. November. Jacket weather! My birthday.
    2. October. Sometimes requires sweaters. Halloween. My depression typically starts to improve.
    3. March. Not hot and wet yet. The year is properly underway. The month I met my love.
    4. January. Beginnings are always nice.
    5. December. I like holidays.
    6. February. Meh.
    7. April. Meh. Desperately wishing it would stop getting warmer.
    8. May. Meh. It’s summer now.
    9. June. Hot. Humid. Boring. The time of year I start feeling restless and like I need a change.
    10. September. Because it isn’t August.
    11. July. Because it’s basically August, but at least it has a holiday.
    12. August. Because August is the worst.

  31. I think this depends greatly on where the person lives. When I was still living in Japan/Korea, the best month was May, but now that I live in California, I think the best month is either March or September.

  32. October really is the best.

    February goes at the bottom of the list. The last leftover bits of Christmas are gone. You’re been short of light and indoor air circulation for months. The sidewalks and gutters are full of gray slush, edged with rock-hard outcroppings of filthy old snow and frozen dog droppings. The local forecast says another round of winter mix, changing to freezing rain, and you know they’re right because you’re standing in it, trying to chop the ice away from the backyard storm drain so the runoff will stop running into the basement.

    But in March? Rain washes away the urban glacial alluvium. The sun comes back. So do the early bulbs. Birdwatching improves. You realize one day that you’re dressed too warmly. My birthday, my wedding anniversary, and the spring equinox all happen in the same week. It’s a good month.

  33. October’s the best in DC: crisp apples, the last of the fresh tomatoes, leaves starting to turn, the end of horrible Washington summers. July and August rank near the bottom: beastly hot, but you can just about survive with the air conditioning. I don’t know how people can stand to live much further south.

    February’s the worst: wet, heavy snow, followed by a freeze that makes shoveling impossible. May and June are nice, and rank just below October. November’s not bad, but the leaves are gone and it’s getting dark; December and January a bit worse. March and April, feh.

    September’s a bit dicey. The first part is typically like August, the last like October.

    Holidays don’t mean much to me, since I’m retired now and days off don’t matter, but Thanksgiving is a nice big family feast (in New York) and Christmas another, smaller one in December.

  34. 1. May: Yay! Summer!
    2. April: Yay! Almost summer!
    3. June: Yay! See May.
    4. March: Yay! Spring!
    5. July: Oh, it’s really summer now!
    6. September: Yay! Not fall yet!
    7. August: OK, it’s a little hot.
    8. February: Hold on; spring will come eventually.
    9. October: Fall is coming and so is death.
    10. January: Well, at least it’s the new year; spring has to come eventually.
    11. November: I think I’m dying.
    12. December: I want to die, everything is death.

  35. 1. July. My birthday, and fireworks, and it is warm and the days are long; also, the farm share starts getting tomatoes, and the farmers’ market has sweet corn.
    2. June: Summer solstice and it’s warm, plus raspberries.
    3. August: Even better produce! And a beer festival. Some sadness (my sister died in August), but you can sit on the porch and drink a beverage and chat about nothing.
    4. May, maybe: starting to be warm, days are getting longer.
    5. September: also good produce, but the days are noticeably shorter and some days it’s even chilly.
    6. April. Green starts being a color again, on actual plants and trees. Maybe no more frost, if you’re lucky.
    7. October. Not brutally cold yet. Usually. And I hate Halloween.
    8. November. Let the Suck begin.
    9. February. Only gets this high because it’s a short month.
    10. March. Wet. Drunks. But an equinox and the days are noticeably longer.
    11. December. Holidays; we hates them. Dark at 4 pm. At least the solstice means another minute or two of sun each day thereafter.
    12. January. Long. Cold. Dark.

  36. 1. October: Weather cools! Pretty fall colors! You can do things to deliberately scare yourself and people won’t think you’re crazy! Hot tea comes back into fashion! KABOCHA SQUASH IS IN SEASON!
    2. November: Weather cools further yet, Thanksgiving is an excuse for pumpkin cheesecake, any snow is usually short-lived and the roads remain driveable.
    3. September: The beginning of fall, the best season, though of late there’s still been a little too much summer in September. (Stupid global warming.) Still! Pumpkin-y things start to come out!
    4. December: Because holidays.
    5. May: It’s been long enough since summer that I sorta kinda miss it.
    6. February: My and my mother’s birth month. Short, so it feels like progress is being made more quickly.
    7. June: Not yet crazy hot; light enough to walk the dog in the early morning.
    8. July: July 4th is nice and all, but only for one country in the world.
    9. April: Rainy. Dreary. Little motivation to do anything.
    10. January: Historically Colorado’s snowiest month. Ugh.
    11. March: Still snowy, only it’s heavy and wet and even more ugh-inducing.
    12. August: Kill it with fire before it does the same to me.

  37. 1. November. Real rains start even in droughty years. (Let’s hope el niño doesn’t throw a spanner in the works this time.)
    2. October. Beautiful weather, run-up to November, sister’s birthday, Halloween.
    3. January. Month of windows, doorways, and negative capability. Approximately 6 months until summer, which I count without eagerness. Rainy season in progress.
    4. February. Month of purification. Several nifty holidays. Rainy season in progress.
    5. September. Washington State Fair, pretty weather, shorter days and fewer acheyglares. There’s a certain slant of light. November begins to heave its welcome, hoary head above the horizon.
    6. December. Rainy season in progress, which helps to soothe rather than intensify seasonal angst (in my experience). Very short days which go by too fast.
    7. April. Bulbs begin to sprout and rainy season has begun to wane but is still in force. A month for which there’s a lot to be said on both sides.
    8. May. Like April, only brighter, with more flowers. (For me the flowers are the offerings at another winter’s funeral. They come up in honor of the good times past.)
    9. June. My own birthday. Super, super, super-long days, if you like that sort of thing. An all-day ramble is a serious endeavor.
    10. July. Harbors the glorious Fourth, although the Fourth has begun to give me pause. For several reasons.
    11. August. Too green and too dull. Too many kids who need to get back to school.
    12. March. Though the rainy season is in progress, I really don’t like this month. It’s helter-skelter, inconsistent, and it doesn’t know what it wants to do. March is the month of mixed messages, climactically. August at least is predictable.

  38. Very brave to not use your Anniversary, or Wife and Daughter’s birthdays in your calculations.

  39. October, September, August (in Buffalo, it’s the nicest of the summer months), November, December. All the other months can go to Hell.

  40. Another Antipodean version:

    1) October – Spring, daylight savings, ducklings flowers and the first holiday after the long cold spell in Winter (maybe unsettled weather though)

    2) February, still summer, still warm but more stable weather + Waitangi day

    3) December- holidays+summer

    4) January- everyone still feels like they are on holiday even if they aren’t

    5) November -it’s summery even if no one admits it (unfortunately also marred by frantic Christmas preparations and bizarre snowflake window displays in shops)

    6)September-spring solidly arrives, terrible weather but still beautiful.

    7) August-my birthday plus the very first blossoms of spring

    8) March-lovely clear autumn days

    9)April- still nice clear days but beginning to get colder (end of daylight savings)

    10)May -last lingering really good weather

    11)June – At least it has a holiday in it (also technically the turning point for the year)

    12) July–nothing good here, just cold slushy misery with the occasional awful storm

  41. One out of four years, February would move up my list because one of my friends was born on the 29th. If he’s gotta wait four years between birthday parties, he likes to make it worthwhile.

  42. My List (Oklahoma Viewpoint):
    1. October – Because its FINALLY starting to cool down here.
    2. December – Holidays
    3. November – College Football and Thanksgiving (MORE FOOD!)
    4. April – Spring is here, with a chance of tornadoes
    5. March – Extremely variable weather, with a chance of tornadoes
    6 (tie). May and June – High likelihood of tornadoes, usually tracking just south of my house.
    7. September – The end of Summer, but its still HOT.
    8 (tie). January and February – Bitter cold and monster North winds, with periods of pleasant weather just long enough to make us hopeful, followed by bitter cold and a chance of tornadoes.
    9 (tie). July and August – Summer, or, as we like to call it, Hell On Earth Season, with a medium chance of tornadoes.

  43. Winter months rank lower if you can’t afford fuel (or not much). Also, you omitted Mayvember and Febtober.

  44. Well, for a southern hemisphere (New Zealand) take on this,
    1. January – mid summer and summer holiday break.
    2. December – also summer, but includes Christmas (and Christmas break) but also pre-christmas stress
    3. February – also summer, but summer holidays a distant memory. All the kids should be back to school for start of the school year
    4. October – Spring in full flight
    5. March – still feels like summer, but starting to prepare for autumn (= fall in US I understand) and end daylight saving.
    6. April – definitely autumn and things cooling down. Normally crisp days.
    7. September – Spring suppose to be starting, but still getting odd hangover from winter. Spring rain also typically this month too. But start of daylight saving at end of the month.
    8. May – Days definitely getting cooler, some frosts
    9. November – Almost onset of summer, but typically the month of the “north-westerly” winds (east cost of South Island). Also, worst month of my allergy season.
    10. June – start of winter proper. Cold and grey outside. Shortest day then typically winter then is fully felt.
    11= July and August – Cold and gray. Mid winter. Already looking forward to spring, but a real grind. And no public holidays – a real grind work wise.

  45. “2. May: My birthday. Spring in full bloom. Memorial Day starts summer.

    3. December: Come on, it’s the holidays.”

    So, your birthday ranks above Christmas?
    For some reason this makes me think of the Beatles…

  46. In order from best to worst:

    1. May: It’s my birthday, too, yeah! (also spring and generally good weather)
    2. November: Thanksgiving! NaNoWriMo! This is always my best month to get a jump start on new novel ideas.
    3. September: Husband’s birthday, and official start of fall.
    4. October: Cool weather. Foliage. Halloween candy.
    5. December: I’m not a huge fan of the Christmas season, but I always look forward to my two weeks with family in the PNW.
    6. July: Usually a big vacation month for us.
    7. March: Wedding anniversary and spring racing season (US Masters Swimming) kicks into high gear.
    8. August: Everyone at work goes on vacation, so it’s mostly quiet.
    9. June: It’s not July yet.
    10. April: It’s not May yet.
    11. January: The pressure of all my goals for the New Year. But, also the start of spring racing season, even if there’s only one race in January and Nationals are still months away.
    12. February: The worst month of winter because it’s still not over yet. Plus Valentine’s Day sucks.

  47. I live in SoCal and I don’t suffer from SADs but some opposite disorder where I get happier the darker it gets, so:

    1) November : Thank all the possible deities that humanity has ever thought up, it is getting darker and the temps have dropped into the 70s.
    2) December: OMG, best month of the year, we may have one actual day were a sweater is possibly needed. The horror is when all the young humans break out their UGG boots to wear with their sweater vests and short shorts.
    3) February and March: The only real reason to live in SoCal/LA – Snow on Mt. Baldly with cool-ish, crisp-ish days makes the traffic somewhat bearable. Don’t get in a fender bender as you stare at the snow covered mountains while stuck on the freeway.
    4) April: The return of the Santa Ana winds to bake all the lovely new spring green hills to a golden brown and the birthday type object.
    5) October: On a good year this means slightly cooler temps and possible rain, on a bad year it means Fire Season.
    6) January: As the trees finally lose the last of their old leaves, the new leaves are coming in along with pretty tree flowers, esp the Mume apricot/plums and the ornamental pear trees. The bad is the spate of 85-90F days that remind you that hell is coming down the road.
    7) May and June: May Gray and June Gloom, if you have SADs this is when SoCal makes you want to slit your wrists, for others it just gets monotonous.
    8) July: The marine layer retreats to San Francisco to join Karl the Fog and the hot, too bright days begin. Plus idiot neighbors blow things up all month long, too bad that they don’t synchronize with the 9:30pm Disneyland fireworks.
    9) August: July plus 10F more heat. Blazing sun, no relief.
    10) September: The most evil month of the year. The fish hurricanes off of Mexico contribute to 100+ temps and humidity, plus a good old fashion haze/smog layer. Poke eye balls out with toothpick while sitting in the A/C.

    This year, September started at the end of June compliments of Super Duper El Nino.

  48. Having just come in from a beautiful clear sky:

    1. (also, if I remember correctly, WordPress does not believe in ordered lists) June. Because it’s June. June, June, June. Just because it’s June! Also, the days get longer, the nights — OK, I should stop with the “quotes.” But there’s more light than in the previous months, and longer light than there will be for the rest of the year.

    2. April is the official beginning to the baseball season. Need I say more?

    3. October is the 31-day cooling-off period for summer, the playoffs with the World Series at the end, and the month by which the students remember they’re back in school.

    4. May. Because winter is 99.9% Done

    5. September, between its fresh starts (does anyone else still feel a slight anxiety when passing those aisles full of notebooks, pens, and other school paraphernalia?) and its downwinding of summer things.

    6. July. Good: Summer. The All-Star Game, even though I don’t watch it anymore. Bastille Day. Bad: Firecracker season. Ugh. And sometimes it’s too hot even for me.

    7. August, a month that’s at least as dull as February, but with vastly better weather.

    8. November, paradoxically, because even though it is the chute towards (*ick*) winter, it has the tail end of Foliage season and Thanksgiving and it usually neither freezes nor snows.

    9. March is the month light at the end of the tunnel.

    10. January. Anticlimactic. And cold.

    11. February. To misquote Yoda, not short enough it is.

    12. December, by any other name, sucks the phone. (Yeah, the holidays. Which were obviously invented to mitigate the wretchedness of winter the month.)

  49. 1. April – Taxes due. Yay!
    2. October – Bobbing for apple wontons.
    3. June – Hurricane season starts. Yay!
    4. August – Summer vacation ends. Yay!
    5. February – Fourth consecutive month of snow, if we’re very lucky indeed.
    6. January – Third month of snow.
    7. July – That Roman candle could put an eye out, if your aim is true.
    8. November – Undercooked turkey, overlooked WMD opportunity.
    9. September – The class bully has bulked up over the summer, hasn’t he?
    10. March – There’s no Ides like Caesar’s Ides.
    11. May – Indianapolis 500 bumper-car exhibition. Yay!
    12. December – Christmas, and the month I remember I missed a year’s worth of meds.

  50. February is depressing except for Chinese New Year, which (for me) is one glorious night of food and booze, a day for recovery, and a bit of noms after.

    If you do not live in a place that celebrates Lunar New Year, I recommend you either move or begin talking it up to your neighbors.

  51. I get happier the darker it gets

    In case it wasn’t already apparent, same here, more or less. I look forward to winter all summer long.

  52. Everyone knows that February is the worst month. That’s why they made it so short. To minimize our suffering.

  53. Fie on you, Scalzi! Profane not the sacred month of August.

    1.) August — birthday month, No. 1 for backpacking (and it’s not humid here in the PNW – West of the Cascades). Sunny, beautiful, glorious. School is out (I work in education).
    2.) July – see above, with perhaps some alpine snow still to melt.
    3.) September — very good, can still squeeze in some backpacking. A bit more rain, though.
    4.) June — nice long days, although sometimes rainy.
    4.) October – beautiful fall colors, but progressively rainier. Too cold for camping outside, at least at elevation.

    I am apathetic about the other months. I live for summer and always have, even when I lived on the Gulf Coast. Sometimes I can snowshoe in the winter, though.

  54. 1) October. Because the heat finally breaks. And beer. And Halloween.
    2) November. Because it gets cool, and crisp nights.
    3) February. Best skiing.
    4) January. Almost as good as February, and school starts again.
    5) December. Clear skies, snow, and meteors.
    6) September. School starts! (I predate August. Deal.)
    7) March. Because spring — blink and you miss it.
    8) April. Still decent, if sweaty.
    9) June. Hotter’n Hell, but dry and the pool is warm enough to swim.
    10) May. Hot, sweaty, but the swamp cooler works.
    11) July. Hot, humid, but fireworks both on the ground and in the clouds.
    12) August. Nothing whatsoever good to be said of it.

  55. Perspective from Down Under:
    November: It’s usually warm/hot, but not too much yet. Also, birthday. Flies and (most annoyingly) biting insects like mozzies are around though, hmph.
    December: Excitement leading up to Christmas etc. – family, friends, carols, food…..quite hot, but there are electric fans for that sort of thing.
    January: Hot, but it’s still break-time (late Nov. to late Feb! :) ) so it’s okay to take it easy, catch up with friends and just relax……and shoo away the insects.
    October: A mixed month of cool weather turning to warm (though this year it’s *starting* in the 30s*C! o.O ). Spring has well and truly sprung, with bright colours all over the place. Hayfever starts becoming a nuisance though – and uni exams are just around the corner, so it’s a bit hectic.
    February: It’s the most irritating summer month as the hottest one, but I prefer heat to cold, even though I manage the cold better!
    March: it’s colder, though usually not *too* wet yet. The leaves on deciduous trees start turning and there are lovely colours all around, mixed with the deep dark green of evergreen (eucalypts included… I love those trees).
    April: cold and sharp, but a nice sort of cold, with a few sunny days still…the leaves are still falling; there are a few holidays and things – Easter, for example (religious meanings and chocolate). This & Sept. are level.
    September: Can be quite wet and still cold, but buds start appearing and opening, showing that winter is on its way *out* completely. Occasional thunderstorm to go to sleep to as well.
    May: Quite cold and wet, but it’s the beginning of things, so can be tolerated. There is still an occasional sunny day too, if we’re lucky.
    August: Last month of winter, yes! Still cold and wet though. And it’s a little tiring by this stage.
    July: I can’t decide whether this one goes before or after August. It’s basically a repeat of June, with more proper rain (& thunderstorms). Everything looks wet and miserable. Winter is my least favourite month.
    June: Bah. The start of winter, which around here means it’s cold and wet….the cloud hangs around when it’s not wet, so things become dreary. Also, the rain patterns involve less thunderstorms and more drizzle – my least favourite type of weather.

    Wow, this has made me think a bit. :)

  56. I don’t have any specific plans for month but I do have some kind feels that every month bring with. I only hate September which I fee is the most boring month of year to me otherwise whole is year is full of life if friends and family besides me. Anyway in India everyday is just like a cerebration except September when all my friends and family get busy with work at home and fields. And as now I’m away from home I miss them even more.

  57. I prefer the summer months here in Michigan, but my bottom two would be November and February, and I would note that probably has to do with relative lack of light and cold, rainy/snowy weather.

  58. 1. October, because it smells good, sounds crisp, tastes perfect, and I don’t roast every night. Also Hallowe’en. (Though my daughter is trying to ruin this month, by ramping up her xmas begging beginning October 1st.)*
    2. January, because xmas is over, thank all that is good left in the world. Yeah it’s cold, but I can pull up another blanket. I can take down the tree next month.
    3. February, because I met my husband on Groundhog Day.
    4. September, because it’s starting to cool off, finally, and it’s my husband’s birthday.
    5. April, because the flowers are waking up.
    6. May, because it’s not too hot.
    7. March, because mud and the likelihood that I am still shoveling heavy, wet snow.
    8. June, on the one hand, my anniversary, on the other, my birthday, so that’s a wash. Too hot, too bright, too migrainey.
    9. August, too hot, too much pressure for the kid’s birthday when she’s asking for things that don’t exist or that are hard to find.
    10. July, because it’s hot, because it’s a bad month for me personally. Because holy crap, the year’s already half over.
    11. November, because really it’s just pre-xmas, with more turkey. Stress, cooking, traveling, aggravation, cleaning, and they’ve already been playing xmas music for a month. Bah!
    12. December, because xmas. I don’t enjoy it. I don’t enjoy the crowds or the cold, or the endless insistence that I be cheerful and happy when I want to rip the face off the nearest person who hit me with their bag full of what felt like pitchforks. It’s loud, it’s expensive, it’s unbelievably stressful, and my daughter asks for gifts that don’t exist (meaning I have to make them or she does without, making xmas day lots of fun).

    *Please note, my daughter is autistic, her behavior is not that of a spoiled brat, it’s that of a kid who doesn’t necessarily understand that the thing she wants doesn’t exist, and that was stupidly reinforced by me, when I first made her the dolls she asked for. I think she figured out that I’m “Santa”, but that doesn’t stop her from expecting the impossible. I did it to myself, so I’d rather you didn’t think poorly of her. I created my own hell.

  59. 1. April – My birthday. Spring starts, wet and windy, fresh crop of stinging nettles. Local cattle in chase-and-trample mode.

    2. June – Stinging nettles really getting going now. Long days out in the hills, flat full of drying kit, car smells of damp boots.

    3. September – Mud, mists, mud, mellow fruitfulness and mud. Rain getting cooler.

    4. April, only not as windy.

    5. August – Schools off, so everything full of obnoxious teenagers. Summer holiday, campsite very very busy and churned to a quagmire by passing vehicles. Rain, campsite floods.

    6. July – June, only more so and with huge bill for car MOT.

    7. March – Snow usually melted by now, rain washes it away. Sun spotted for the first time since November.

    8. December – Christmas. Back to family home were I will sleep on the laboratory floor, eat too much and argue with relatives, and the cat will get annoyed by all the extra ankles and start biting people. Rain, but no snow because we have time off work and can go and play in it if there is any.

    9. November – Rain properly cold, sometimes snow if very unlucky, but too wrapped up in Nanowrimo to notice or care. Bonfire night, but at least the artillery barrage usually stops by the middle of the month.

    10. September – Mud, mists, mud, mellow fruitfulness and mud. Rain getting cooler.

    11. October – Clocks go back, no light in evenings. Fog and drizzle, motorway full of grey cars with no lights on in thick fog.

    12. February – Entire country comes to a crashing halt for two days when it snows. Nothing else happens. Nothing ever happens in February.

  60. March sucks in every conceivable way. January has time off and good snowshoeing. In spite of it being colder,February still only lasts 28 days most years, and is great weaving weather so there’s that going for it. March, on the other hand, is 31 days of wretched, teasing weather, Daylight Savings Time (which is proof that there is no benevolent superior being), bad moods, no legal holidays, cranky people trying to get through what in Wisconsin is euphemistically called ‘Spring Break”, and basketball 24/7 which as best as I can figure is sweaty people in squeaky shoes. If the year were a horse, March would beat it dead to the quantum level.

  61. 1. July — Peak Summer. Clouds of hummingbirds around the feeder and lots of snakes to catch. Properly hot and humid.
    2. August — Vacation!
    3. June — Almost July.
    4. May — Lots of flowers. Humidity starting to creep up
    5. December — Christmas anticipation
    6. April — Beyond the last frost. Gardening season really takes off
    7. September — Summer hanging on by its nails.
    8. October — still some decent weather. State Fair is kinda fun
    9. March — Some warm days. Planting commences.
    10. November — cold, rainy, dark. No gardening
    11. February — Cold, dull. Freezing rain and snow causes school to panic and shut down
    12. January — Cold, dark, dry. Skin itches and knuckles crack. No more holidays to look forward to.

  62. Mostly agree with Scalzi, except I would put June and November ahead of September.

  63. May – May Day to Memorial Day is utterly delightful
    June – long days and not hot yet
    July – hot days, balmy nights
    August – muggy but perfect for swimming
    September – warm days, cool nights
    October – crisp days and clear nights to gaze at stars
    April – muddy but green
    March – winter relaxes and days become longer than nights
    February – nice for x/c skiing in the woods
    January – too cold for x/c skiing, but not as dark
    December – cold and dark, but has holidays at least
    November – grey, chill, and dank, the dreariest month

  64. October. Beyond your reasons, it’s the month my wife and I usually take our vacation.
    December. Beyond your reasons, it’s my birthday.
    May. Usually nice weather and Memorial Day.
    April. Things start turning green, and I don’t usually need a heavy jacket.
    September. Sometimes too hot, but otherwise OK.
    June. See September, but it gets light too early..
    November. Colder than ideal, but Thanksgiving and usually not brutal.
    March. Usually the month we visit my daughter and her family in California.
    August. Hardly a favorite, but better than the last three.
    July. Too darn hot, but at least I can wear shorts comfortably.
    January. Not much to say for it, except it beats February.
    February. There’s a reason it’s the shortest month.

  65. 1. October – Halloween, autumn colors, sweater weather
    2. May – spring in all its glory
    3. June – summer but not too hot
    4. September – not quite fall, not quite summer, fairs
    5. November – birthday and Thanksgiving
    6. April – a nice month, dinged because of taxes
    7. December – Christmas, family time
    8. July – beach weather, which is awesome when you’re at the beach, less so anyplace else
    9. August – July only sweatier
    10. January – fresh start, days off from work
    11. March – when winter has overstayed its welcome
    12. February – shortest month feels the longest.

  66. Location: Southeastern Pennsylvania – how I got there, after growing up in Southern California, would take too long … let’s just note that ‘some people say there’s a woman to blame, but I know, its my own damned fault’.
    Ride: Elderly Suzuki 650 Burgman motor scooter – still churning out regular, reliable mostly-solo highway travel, now triked, because the rider is also moderately Asperger’s & elderly.
    November, December, January, February, March & April – can’t ride because its too damned cold on my old (73 years) bones.
    May, June, July, August, September & October – usually can ride when it isn’t raining – when HOT, try not to ride in the urban areas, due to steam-parbroiling sitting at red lights – often ‘hang’ from a hammock in out-of-the-way places.

  67. Location: Minneapolis, MN

    1. June. June in Minneapolis is generally outstanding: beautifully summery but not oppressively hot, and the whole summer’s ahead. School gets out. We usually go to Camp du Nord (this summer camp that parents get to go to as well. It has lakes and kayaks and you stay in a cabin.)

    2. August. August in Minneapolis is also generally outstanding. (Sometimes it’s a bit too hot, but usually even by early August we’re getting some nice early-fall-like weather.)

    3. October. Today was pretty much the perfect fall day. Minnesota apples are arriving in force. I like Halloween. My daughters’ birthdays are over for the year and I don’t have to think about Christmas shopping yet. On beautiful days like today I can live in denial of the impending winter.

    4. May. Spring FINALLY arrives and May is usually pretty nice. WisCon happens in May.

    5. July. Hot enough to go to the beach. Real tomatoes start arriving.

    6. September. Usually very nice weather. Tends to be a somewhat high-stress month because we’re adjusting to the new school year, plus the girls’ birthdays are two days apart.

    7. April. My birthday. Usually a very, very frustrating month in terms of weather because I’m super ready for spring and it usually snows.

    8. November. I like Thanksgiving. (It’s my husband’s favorite holiday, hands down, because it’s all about the eating and feeding people and no presents are involved.)

    9. December. Early enough in winter that the snow is still novel. I like presents (giving and receiving).

    10. March. At least the end is in sight, sort of, but I am always entirely done with snow and there is nearly always more of it. (Although there was one year where our St. Patrick’s Day party took place partly on the patio because it was 70 degrees out. That was WEIRD.)

    11. January. Frigid, dark, and 31 days long.

    12. February. Absolutely the only good thing you can say about February is that there are only 28 or 29 days of this miserable, wretched month. If we could shorten it by another day and add another day to June, I would be 100% in favor.

  68. 1. May – Nice weather – often very warm but not hot yet, beautiful flowers (the best smelling ones), on good years whole week off for holidays.

    2. June – Nice weather, almost summer but not as hot yet, days that last forever, beautiful flowers.

    3. October – Most colourful part of autumn even if it’s rainy. My birthday, my brother’s birthday and my niece’s birthday

    4. August – Nicest part of summer – even if it’s still very hot it’s usually drier than July and the nights are cooler. Good for meteor watching.

    5. July – Long, long summer days, warm and long summer evenings, summer storms but also often too hot and humid.

    6. September – if it’s sunny it’s beautiful, warm weather, heather blooms, fresh hazelnuts and walnuts (you’ll never know how good they really are if you never take their skin off), good month to go on vacation somewhere south

    7. December – Mostly dark and muddy (the days are barely noticeable) but first snow and holidays make everything better

    8. April – The weather is mostly nice and the fruit trees in bloom look nice but allergies

    9. January – Winter, often snow, days start getting longer and more sunny, sometimes winter break

    10. March – It’s like November for spring only days are getting longer instead of shorter and there are more sunny days and promise of spring.

    11. February – the coldest days of winter usually happen here but if there is no winter then muddy and bleak. No vegetation yet. But on the other hand sometimes has winter break.

    12. November – Rain, drizzle, cold rain. Mud. Clouds make the short days even shorter. Leaveless trees in the dark. Depressing holidays – All Saints and All Souls so visiting graves. The whole month looks like depression (you don’t realise how much sunnier US is than Northern part of Europe and therefore how much more depressing autumn is in Europe).

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