Introducing the Newest Members of the Scalzi Clan

Please say hello to:

Thing One, and

Thing Two.

Note these are temporary names; at some point we will give them more formal titles.

The story here is that my mother-in-law’s neighbor has cats who had kittens, and I’d been wanting to get another cat since Ghlaghghee had passed on. Now that I’ll be home for the rest of the year it seemed a good time. We couldn’t decide between Thing One and Thing Two, so we took them both; as they are siblings we figure they can keep each other company. We think Thing One is a girl and Thing Two is a boy, but it’s hard to tell this young. We’ll find out. They are eating dry food and we’ll find out how housetrained they are; so far everything looks good. They are quarantined to my office until our first vet appointment. More news as events warrant.

In any event: Welcome, Thing One and Thing Two. Hope you like it here.

100 Comments on “Introducing the Newest Members of the Scalzi Clan”

  1. Between kids costumes for Halloween, and kittens, everyone is trying to kill me dead with cute, damnit!

    (Please provide plenty of pictures as they grow /yeah, I’m an cute addict).

  2. “Introducing the Newest Members of the Scalzi Clan”

    Don’t you mean the MEWEST members? KAPOW!

    “More news as events warrant.”

    Don’t you mean more MEWS as events warrant? DOUBLE KAPOW!! I SLAY ME!


    *runs around in circles and makes more squeeing noises*

    This is unbearably cute and awesome news!

  4. Sooooo cute! I get sloppily maternal when I see kittens. Human babies? Not so much. But baby animals, especially cats? I melt.

    Congratulations, Scalzi clan! And hail and well met to your newest overlords.

    What do Zeus, Lop-Sided Cat, and Daisy think about this new development?

  5. The cuteness … it BURNS!

    They’re adorable. All best wishes to the furry new Scalzis.

  6. Those are two ridiculously cute kittens. ^_^ Hope they’ll be happy at your place for many years to come.

    And since Thing One already has an “I’m going to grow up to be a hero” look and Thing Two has an “I’m already evil” look, I suggest Thor and Loki for their names.

  7. Naming of cats strongly resembles why meteorologists name hurricanes. We like to be able to name the force of nature that just destroyed our house. As with hurricanes, humans have a limited ability to reduce the damage caused by kittens/cats.

  8. So so so cute!
    Names that immediately sprang to mind were Meep and Feep (Pheep?), just based on the pictures and the noises I associate with kittens… Yeah, I never should name living things.

  9. Congratulations on new kittens. Of course now you must subscribe to Meowbox and Kitnipbox to celebrate.

  10. They’re adorable. About naming them later. We figured we’d come up with new names once we brought our 6 and 8 month old cats home from the shelter. A year later, we’re still calling them Rumbly and Gretchen.

  11. Aww. Nothing like new kittens in the house. Thing Two looks a bit like our Amber. We have her and her sister, Ginger and Mom Jasmine. I hope you have many long, happy years with them!

  12. Oh boy, such cuteness…we have siblings and they are still crazy things around the house at age four – constant twinningness. But hysterically funny to watch instead of, say, working…

  13. Oh, man! I am having to hold in my squee so as not to alarm husband. I think I might explode.

  14. Absolutely adorable!

    If Thing Two has both black and orange coloration, it’s likely a girl. (It looks like it might, but that could be a trick of the camera.) Those colors occur on the x chromosome, and are only seen together on xx. That’s why all tortie and calico cats are female or males with an extra chromosome. As you say, you’ll find out soon. :)

  15. you could alter the spellings of thing one and thing two, Zhingwon and Zhingtu, since your not sure on their genders yet.

  16. Cuteness personified! I just lost my 14 yo black cat (Anakin) and have a 4 yo still but friends keep pushing me to get Nico a companion. Too soon I say (3 weeks), but if I had been offered Thing One & Two I might have caved & brought Nico 2 companions just on the cuteness of them together!!!

  17. As my offspring would say “totes adorbs!” I hope that at least one of them bonds with you the way Herself did; you’ve had a kitty-shaped hole in your heart for a long time now.

    I suspect it’ll be a good thing all round that you couldn’t decide between Things One & Two. They’ll burn off that kittenish energy chasing each other around, which makes it less likely they’ll annoy Zeus and LC. And honestly, what is cuter than a pair of kitty siblings wrassling together, anyway?

    Felicitations to the Scalzi clan, and welcome to the new Whatever cast members – looking forward to REGULAR updates (hint, hint), sir!

  18. Im glad to see you keeping them separate from others, we recently had one of ours infected with feline leukemia, so we have a moratorium on any new family members. but we have 13 cats, so we are not lacking in the love department,

  19. Seems like T. S. Eliot might weigh in, here:

    The Naming of Cats is a difficult matter,
    It isn’t just one of your holiday games;
    You may think at first I’m as mad as a hatter
    When I tell you, a cat must have THREE DIFFERENT NAMES.
    First of all, there’s the name that the family use daily,
    Such as Peter, Augustus, Alonzo, or James,
    Such as Victor or Jonathan, George or Bill Bailey —
    All of them sensible everyday names.
    There are fancier names if you think they sound sweeter,
    Some for the gentlemen, some for the dames:
    Such as Plato, Admetus, Electra, Demeter —
    But all of them sensible everyday names.
    But I tell you, a cat needs a name that’s particular,
    A name that’s peculiar, and more dignified,
    Else how can he keep up his tail perpendicular,
    Or spread out his whiskers, or cherish his pride?
    Of names of this kind, I can give you a quorum,
    Such as Munkstrap, Quaxo, or Coricopat,
    Such as Bombalurina, or else Jellylorum —
    Names that never belong to more than one cat.
    But above and beyond there’s still one name left over,
    And that is the name that you never will guess;
    The name that no human research can discover —
    But THE CAT HIMSELF KNOWS, and will never confess.
    When you notice a cat in profound meditation,
    The reason, I tell you, is always the same:
    His mind is engaged in a rapt contemplation
    Of the thought, of the thought, of the thought of his name:
    His ineffable effable
    Deep and inscrutable singular Name.

  20. From a dog person’s perspective those are some damn cute kitties.

    Always glad to know when any animal has gone to a loving, responsible home.

    Congrats to the Scalzi household on the new additions and congrats to the kitties for wisely choosing a home where they will be properly adored.

  21. What cuties!
    Of course all kittens are adorable, in much the same way that all babies are screaming fleshsacks of poop and vomit, and it takes time for them to grow into felines of distinction and character by which you might be able to name them appropriately to their personalities; by which time they will long since have needed names already. A conundrum! Still I would recommend holding off on naming them until you know their genders at least. Or else name them gender-non-specific things. Morgan is a nice name, as is Sesquipedalian.

  22. They are adorable! Hope you all enjoy welcoming their cute little selves to the home (and hope the elder pets adjust quickly.)

  23. The most expensive kittens we ever got were “free” kittens from the neighbor. However, ours, Anakin and Obi Wan, are still going strong lo these many years later. Hope you have better luck on the intake and just as much success in the long term. Congrats.

  24. Congrats and enjoy! Itty-bitty kittens provide a lot of entertainment. Having the pair to entertain each other will hopefully make them less of a nuisance to the adult cats who I guess won’t be too enthused about the newcomers, at least initially. I’ll echo Carrie above that Thing 2’s colors at least as they are coming through in the pics make me think girl for that one.

  25. I agree with an earlier comment – Thing One and Thing Two (however spelt) are excellent names!

  26. Yay! May I suggest that all future posts should contain at least one Thing.
    Pictures of books should always be tastefully displayed around adorbs. Discussions/Rants on social justice – always kittened up. It adds panache.
    Pictures of sunsets – include kitten foreground for extra delish.
    if you could have the Big Idea authors include a kitten with their posts….
    Kittens – they make everything better.

  27. Cool cats, JS. I am envious. I love cats but we can’t have any because my wife is insanely allergic to any shedding animal. At least we can have a non-shedding dog…

  28. Cuteness! I’m a rare vote against thing one and thing two as permanent names, but of course the Scalzi clan are experts at ignoring all advice from the internet that is not useful.

    The good news in housetraining is that unlike dogs, usually mom-cat does all the work for the humans. Even our obviously-thrown-in-a-ditch-at-weaning kitten (may we curse the ex-owners wherever they are), who never got over all her timidity, was housetrained.

  29. Thing One and Thing Two are the names of cats in Kate Wilhelm’s Babara Holloway books, but they are a lot bigger. Was this your source for the names?

  30. Oh, what will you do,
    Oh, what will you do?
    You’ve welcomed two kitties–
    Thing One and Thing Two!
    Their charm and their energy,
    (In kittenish synergy)
    Will surely distract you,
    Whatever you do!
    Their pouncing and slinking
    Might keep you from thinking
    Of suitable Naming for
    This lively pair.
    Their tussling and biting
    Might keep you from writing–
    Oh, perish the thought!
    Quickly, name them with care! ;-)

  31. Yep; those are remarkably cute Things, and, let’s face it, any entity which can look amazingly cute whilst described as Thing has a head start on lesser beings. I hope you are all very happy together!

  32. I am dead of the cute! *dies* *is dead*

    Someone upthread asked what the current furry residents think of the newcomers. My guess is that Zeus and Lopsided Cat are thinking “cool, a new toy/minion for each of us!” And Daisy is thinking “geez, I’m outnumbered 4 to 1 now!”

  33. When our cat had kittens about three months ago, I named the four very cute female kittens Stalin, Hitler, Mao and Pol Pot. My logic was that nobody would get attached to kittens named after dictators.

  34. Sexing kittens: with the kitten facing north, examine the south end, immediately under the tail. If you see a colon, congratulations, it’s a boy. If you see a semi-colon, congratulations, it’s a girl.

  35. Yaykittens!

    My grandfather once had two cats called “Phenie” and “Di”. Short for Phenylhydrazine and Dimethylglyoxime.

    The odd thing was, he was a physicist, not a chemist…

  36. Eee! Kittens!

    My first two kittens were named Black Kitty and Black And White Kitty for the first two months we had them. Then we got three more, two of which were black and white (well, one’s more white and black), so I had to give them more distinct names.

    I am so happy to see your little ones. I was just feeling wistful for kittens earlier today, even though we have twelve very lovely adult cats.

  37. Oh and about naming…

    When my in-laws adopted a pair of grey tabbies from the same litter, they were originally named Monday and Tuesday, because the runt of the litter was born a day late, on Tuesday, when everyone else had already popped.

    My Significant Otter and I thought that these were boring names, and strangely, our idea of names won over my mother-in-law who technically is the Lady of Cats (in charge of feeding and litterbox duties).

    We named them Demogorgon (former Monday) and Orcus (Tuesday) instead.

    As in, that Demogorgon and Orcus from D&D, two demon overlords of immense power, duking it out between themselves and anyone caught in their way.

    Just remember, “nomen est omen”… and they sure made every effort to emulate their namesakes.

  38. Oh, Internet win and felineisitations on your remarkably cute new kitten additions.

    Upon consideration, “Cherry” and “Mince”, because pie.

  39. I can almost feel Thing One sleeping curled up under my chin as I slouch on the couch. Thing Two is chewing on her tail while lying on her back in my lap. Wishful thinking…

    Dear Interweb – Stop torturing me with adorable cat/kitten pictures/videos.
    Signed – yet another feline lover who is big time allergic.

  40. Adorable! The little monsters have a powerful Cuteness attack, even over the internet. I’m down Subdual hit points, and soon will fall into a heap that can only make little high-pitched squees.

    I think very few cats pay any attention to their names (or anything else you may say to them), so Thing One and Thing Two are fine. But if you believe they’ll listen when you call their names, making them a) shorter and b) more distinct from each other is probably a good idea.

    Since you probably don’t want to just call them One and Two, I suggest Daya and Biyu, which are One and Two in Hausa. (Actually that first D should have a hook on it, indicating ingressive mouth air, but how many Hausas are you going to run into in Darke County?)

  41. For a Scalzi, I am biased to Podykayne I know that she had a brother, but I can’t remember his name… there are soooooo many Danerys & Vyseris combinations that I see for first kitten vaccines lately… Coroline and Odd also would be unique and a reasonable tribute…

    My kids are all dogs lately, and those names just don’t work for dogs… so, I’ll name drop to brag vicariously….

  42. Oh I think you will be glad that you couldn’t decide! Two kittens are much better than just one as a lot of their energy will be directed at each other instead of you (particularly in the middle of the night) or the older cats (who might not appreciate being constantly pounced and chewed upon).

    Of course, there is a component of “monkey see, monkey do” to having two at once…they tend to get into twice as much trouble and get into it together (to maximize the mess and destruction)!

  43. These two are unfairly cute. They cute-ed the food poisoning that’s had me laid up for days right out of me.

    You are a lucky man, Mr. Scalzi.

    I suggest “Weaponized Cuteness” and “Rainbow Dash”.

  44. We adopted the tabby twins Boris and Natasha 16 years ago on Halloween and they’ve been a joy! Much happiness with your twin terrors and glad you have the older critters to raise them right and knock them back into play.


    Ahem. That’s almost all I got.

    pogonip is correct on the way to tell kitten gender. It worked when we had our last batch of stray kittens 9 years ago and our boy is one.

    Thing 2 is definitely a girl by this photo, and a tortie at that, God help you. If we go with this hypothesis, you could compare the undercarriages and see if they match.

    Start ’em on bacon now.

  46. San Francisco zoo also has a new kitteh, who’s finally starting to come out in public. And they’ve figured out that it’s male, which can be tough to tell with lions, because until recently its mom was not going to let any ape walk up and turn her kitten upside down, and since she’s a lion, it’s hard to argue with her reasoning.

    My 18-year-old cat Spot isn’t in great health, but is doing as well as can be expected for her age; we’re still in shock from losing the 11-year-old a month or so ago. It turns out that San Jose has a temporary cat cafe run by an adoption group, and my wife and I went there this afternoon and played with various cats, including a pair of large cuddly brothers that they want to place together. (Sigh. It was tempting to just bring them home. But their needs are enough from Spot’s that we really can’t, since she needs to be free-feeding to gain weight and they need to lose some, and we don’t want to put her through the stress of adapting to new cats in the house.)

  47. Atraph’s suggested names are wonderful. Hope you will consider them.

    How are the other four-legged residents handling the arrival?

  48. Thing One appears to have excellent taste in literature… she’s perusing some of my favorite authors in that photo.

  49. Tell us the truth. How tempted were you to post a picture with one or both sitting inside an upside-down hat?

    But to add to the general consensus, they do look adorable.

  50. Just a thought, here. When the oxygen thieves troll you on the Twitter, counterattack with pictures of KITTENS. The trolls won’t survive that. Feel free to carpet-bomb them with pictures; the trolls will implode and leave a messy stain on the floor.

  51. I recommend that you name them Dave and Bob – They will be the minions of Zeus, and will attempt to kill you in many nefarious ways in preparation for world domination. If they succeed in killing or maiming you, they will not be prosecuted due to their cuteness.

  52. Thing Two is diffenetly a girl, because this “hair” calor combination can be only by proud owner of XX-Chromosome. Not so sure about Thing One, cause it is not very clear on photos, have she/he a red hair or not

  53. DON’T LOOK! It’s all a Leftist plot to make us soft and warm-hearted and sap our warlike spirit!
    Okay, maybe just one last little peek…

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