How to Manifest a Kitten

For when you absolutely, positively need a kitten to magically appear instantly. This is an incomplete list.

1. Close an interior door.

2. Open an exterior door.

3. Use the toilet.

4. Run a bath.

5. Type on a keyboard.

6. Clean the catbox. (They will immediately poo in it)

7. Feed the dog.

8. Feed the other cat.

9. Feed yourself.

10. Click the button that activates the laser pointer.

11. Try to take a nap.

12. Have the adult cat try to take a nap.

13. Indeed, have the adult cat try to do anything, because the kittens are convinced that the adult cat really just wants to play with them every waking hour of the day, which I assure you, is an opinion at wide variance to adult cat’s own.

14. Leave your toes unattended.

And of course,

15. Tuna.