The Existential Angst of Jeb Bush Failing to Best Ted Cruz in the New Hampshire Primary, in Twitter Form (Featuring Jim Gilmore)

How I spent my New Hampshire primary night.

Postscript: Gilmore eventually cracked triple digits. Good for him.

30 Comments on “The Existential Angst of Jeb Bush Failing to Best Ted Cruz in the New Hampshire Primary, in Twitter Form (Featuring Jim Gilmore)”

  1. I am curious! Not yellow.
    Had to go to bed before it was all done last night.

  2. I weep for my state…

  3. You know, if you ever take up a sideline as a political commentator on one of the networks, I might actually be convinced to buy a television set and watch the returns, just for the entertainment value of listening to you skewer the candidates.

    And by the way, “ambulatory cloacal splotch” is quite likely the best description ever of Cruz, so thanks for sharing that bit of word-crafting.

  4. thank you for your entertaining commentary….I didn’t watch it, don’t care to watch it…..and of course, as with anything, it’s an opinion……

  5. What a race. The only bet was for show, and Jeb! and the Rubot missed even that.

  6. whbeebe – Somewhere in the Orion Arm – I live in Orlando Florida. I’m blessed with a wonderful life-long wife, two equally wonderful adult children, a Yellow Lab, a Labradoodle, and three Ginger cats, and two dilute Tortie cats. I'm retired. I have a spot on LinkedIn (https://www.linkedin.com/in/williambeebe) if you’d like to know more.
    whbeebe

    Who’s Jim Gilmore?

  7. My Twitter feed was also full of Bernie Sandwiches jokes last night :)

    As a Bernie supporter I obviously had a very happy night. I thought his speech laid out the liberal view of the country very well and I was also very happy to just see that happen on my TV screen.

    And he took care to emphasize that in the end we all need to come together to defeat the Republicans, which as a Democrat I also really believe.

    So, great fun all around.

  8. I’m sorry, John, but I’m afraid I’m going to have to steal “ambulatory cloacal splotch”. Please don’t sue me.

  9. The former Governor of my state (Virginia) Jim Gilmore, is up to 129 votes in New Hampshire. Added to the 12 from Iowa he has a grand total of 141. If he hangs on until March 1st he can come in last place in his home state as well.

  10. I looked at the NH results yesterday and thought, “who the heck is Jim Gilmore?”

    Former Governor of Virginia! This was literally the first I’d heard of him in this year’s election.

  11. …highlight from the Wikipedia page about his presidential campaign: “On October 30, 2015, Jim Gilmore was verified on Twitter.”

    I find it a little puzzling that he’s been so resolutely ignored, given that he’s got legit political credentials and so on, and extremely puzzling that he’s stuck it out, given that he wasn’t even allowed into most of the kids’ table debates.

  12. Vermin Supreme got more total votes than Gilmore.

    Yeah, but V. Supreme promised everybody a pony if elected. Gilmore offers only the look of indigestion.

  13. Bruce Diamond – Flyover Land on the teeming Mississippi River – Despicably proud old man. Text-extruding asshole (thank you, John Scalzi) with a skewed vision on life, pop culture, writing and general assholiness. Not a scholar, not a gentleman, not Martin or Lewis. But still trying to make life fun and funny.
    Bruce Diamond

    Ambulatory Cloacal Splotch is the name of my The Residents lounge cover band.

  14. My worry is that, since Sanders has been stirring up a lot of idealism and riling up young people like me by pointing out how broken the system is and how billionaires own politics, Sanders in particular is getting Millennials invested in politics and – I hope – into voting booths.

    If New Hampshire is repeated and Sanders wins the popular vote but Hillary gets more delegates (as in, the votes that matter) and wins it will basically say to us “oh, Bernie was right. And that means there’s no hope for people who aren’t billionaires, so why bother?” I’ll still go vote because I really, REALLY don’t want Trump in office, but who is to say other people won’t be so disillusioned with US politics that they just say “f*** it” and don’t bother?

  15. Gilmore has basically been pretending to run for President. As far as I can tell, he’s put zero actual effort into it.

    I am kind of amazed that Martin O’Malley did get more votes than Mr. Supreme.

  16. I think we DDOSed Jim Gilmore’s site just searching for who the hell he is.

    Then the photo finally loaded and I want to punch him almost as much as I want to punch Ted Cruz. I feel like Louise on Bob’s Burgers only without the sublimated attraction. I’m not attracted. I just want to throw a punch.

  17. I didn’t have any delays loading Gilmore’s video, but all I heard was (paraphrased) blah, blah, blah I’ll protect you from muslim terrorists, blah, blah, blah. That’s not much of a basis for getting votes, especially when the other Republican candidates are saying that plus other stuff.

  18. Sigh… how bad is it when I see Jeb as like one of maybe two semi- sane people in the clown car? Mind you, for some reason I feel like he’s just going through the motions because everyone expects him to run for president.

    As for Trump and Cruz, talk about 31 flavors of fucktwaddle stuffed in hollowed out pair of dingo turds. Republicans, PLEASE pull your heads out of your collective butts and realize it is time to pump out the sewage tank.

  19. You laugh at Jim Gilmore, but he got TEN TIMES the support that he had in Iowa. When he gets those 1200 votes in South Carolina, we’ll all realize that his unstoppable juggernaut is growing with logarithmic force until by the time he gets to Minnesota, they will have to clone the entire population of the planet ten times over just to get enough people to vote for him!

    Gilmore 2016: Fun With Statistics!

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