I’m In the Mood For a Huge Chunk of 80s-Flavored Cheese

How about you?

I mean, there is nothing about this video that is not 80s. It may be one of the most 80s videos ever. That hair! That synth! That hair! Those clothes! That hair!

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

49 replies on “I’m In the Mood For a Huge Chunk of 80s-Flavored Cheese”

I was wondering if I was going find a picture of a nice bit of aged Wensleydale, but instead I got music that I think I avoided hearing the first time around.

The 80’s wasn’t really like that. Not for me. There must have been something about us that kept us from cringing every time we turned on MTV (which played videos like this 24 hours a day back then), but no one I knew actually dressed that way, or wore their hair that way.

Ok, not quite 80s, but the video has an 80s vibe, and the song reminds me alot of Bowie’s trippy space oddity phase. I saw the last twenty seconds on a local video program on Saturday and I haven’t got it out of my head. I think I’m memetic patient zero for Olympia

Okay, Scalzi – I’ll grant you, that’s so Eighties Cheese that the only thing missing are Crockett and Tubbs breaking with with their guns stylishly drawn.

But somehow, I feel you’re missing another side of Eighties Cheese – the first-time director throwing everything but the kitchen sink into a music video as his Hollywood Calling Card – like with this little power ballad from REO Speedwagon:

Her hairstyle is very similar to mine in 1984-ish when I started law school. My hair is absolutely straight so took lots of hair spray and feathering of bangs to get that spiffy lift in place. None of the guys at law school had rock star hair, though…those were the Reagan years. More prep than pop!

Indeed, sir. I think you have discovered the archtype against which all 80s pretenders will be judged.
Let’s recount the 80s-ness of it:

— Big blonde metal hair on dudes
— Arm bands as male jewelry
— leather jackets with those weird shoulder wings
— solid color, high-top Reeboks
— satin tight pants
— animal print tight pants & sleeveless t-shirts
— female hair sprayed within an inch of its life
— big fur coats
— corded “antique” phones (good catch, @rufaroz)
— overly wrought, sparkly glass “diamond” jewelry
— sequined dresses
— guitar player has that shaggy Randy Rhodes haircut (their guitar player looks like a mad pixie)
— big ol’ aviator sunglasses
— her makeup: that super eyeliner – fabulous.
— the ruffly Jessica McClintock dress on that gal in the restaurant – enough ruffles for a whole prairie of ladies.
— men with one dangley earring.

The only thing we’re missing is a bandana. But maybe the scarf he wears makes up for that. Loverboy always had the bandana thing covered.

Man, I broke out in hives at the 1:30 mark of that Giuffria tune and had bail out. But this cure worked like a charm! Mucho Pedro points to the first person who can identify the key of this song.

“This video contains content from VEVO. It is restricted from playback on certain sites.”

Thank you, youtube, for being a pain in the ass.

Thank you, KROQ, for your unlicensed days – I could hide from the hair and the metal, and pretend the 80s were all about punk, New Wave, and the beginnings of “alt rock.” Oingo Boingo was about as synth as my 80s got.

Animal crackers in my soup,
Lions and tigers loop-de-loop …

I know it’s a bit late to add this now, but I just relistened to the song without watching the video, and I was struck by how much this sounded and felt like a Journey torch song — right down to the singer’s eerie resemblance to Steve Perry.

What was it you said once, John — it’s Steve Perry’s world and we’re just living in it?

All that hair spray. The only era I can think of that outdoes the 80’s in that area is the current one. Given the choice between spikes and flowing locks, I’d take flowing locks.

The 60s were easy. Just brush and go.

I’ve seen this recent look described as “sleek and sophisticated.” I wonder if the current generation will wince as much as we do at 80’s hair when they look back on the sleek sophistication of the 10’s :-)

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