So, yesterday, after engaging on Twitter with some particularly low-wattage racists who were exercised about, you know, jackass racist things, I made the following observation:
Today has been a reminder of the irony that those concerned about the "extinction" of the white race are the best argument for its demise.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 7, 2016
Which these fellows, because they are, as previously mentioned, low-wattage racists, who also apparently don’t understand how language works, took to mean that I was fully endorsing the idea of white genocide.
Well, this was news to me — as a general rule, I don’t endorse genocide of any sort, it just seems rude — but on the other hand I didn’t want to disappoint. So, today I thought I’d give white genocide a try. Here’s how it went (some of these are in reply to others’ questions about the white genocide; click on the tweet for the question).
Oh and apparently, yesterday, according to leading racists, I called for the genocide of white folks! Sorry, whites. We had a good run.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
I mean, yes? Might as well tell the credit card companies to shove off as well. https://t.co/6u2iItPpeZ
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
LOOK PEOPLE I JUST FOUND OUT I CALLED FOR WHITE GENOCIDE I DIDN'T KNOW I WOULD HAVE TO PLAN THE WHOLE THING TOO https://t.co/jC2xN6vyrD
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
I mean, this is my schedule today:
7am-9: Novel writing
10am: Post big idea
12pm: Phone meeting
1pm: WHITE GENOCIDE
2pm: NapIt's packed!
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
JEEZ WHITE PEOPLE IT'S ALWAYS ABOUT YOUR NEEDS ISN'T IT. LOOK, THE REST OF HUMANITY NEEDS THE PLANET THIS AFTERNOON https://t.co/0Z8eQLAHRs
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
So far the leading response to the White Genocide is "Oh good, I can skip out of these commitments," so way to accept the end, white folks!
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
Thanks, white folks, for the cooperation! This white genocide is a surprise to me too, but I'm glad we'll pull it off on such short notice.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
Having scheduled the white genocide, I went off to attend the rest of the day.
And then it was time!
Look! It's 1pm! Time for the White Genocide! Well, better get to it —
(grabs axe and map)
(goes to start car)
(car won't start)
DAMN IT
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
So. Yeah. This is kind of embarrassing.
Guys, we gotta cancel the white genocide for today. My car won't start.
LOOK I'M DISAPPOINTED TOO
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
Look, we can still do this if all of you, kind of, you know, auto-white genocided?
NO IT HAS TO BE ALL OF YOU OTHERWISE IT'S NOT GENOCIDE
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
You know what? Just forget it. I didn't even ASK to be put in charge of this white genocide but I MADE AN EFFORT. You all let me DOWN.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
I guess the world is STUCK with white people for at least a little bit longer. I HOPE YOU'RE HAPPY.
Screw this, I'm getting ice cream.
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
YES IT'S VANILLA
(stomps off)
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 8, 2016
Seriously, I’m the worst white genocider ever. Sorry.