Hey, I Feel Like Giving Away This Subterranean Press ARC of “The Dispatcher”
Posted on December 12, 2016 Posted by John Scalzi 875 Comments
And I could give it away to you! Yes you, wherever you are in the world. I’ll even sign it (and personalize it, if you like).
Here’s what you have to do to enter:
In the comment thread attached to this entry, tell me what animal I’m thinking of right now.
(Note: I have told Krissy which animal it is, so I can’t change my mind.)
Two hints: It’s a land animal, and it’s a vertebrate.
Only one animal per entry, one entry per person. Entries with multiple animals will be disqualified as will any additional entries from anyone aside from the first. When you comment, in the “email” field, leave an actual email I can reach you at (don’t leave it in the body of the comment, unless you want everyone to know your email). Only comments here on Whatever will be considered for the contest (i.e., don’t leave comments on Twitter or Facebook or anywhere else).
You have until noon Eastern on Tuesday, December 13, 2016 to enter. I’ll close the comment thread after that.
In the case of multiple people guessing the same animal, I’ll tally up the number of the people who guess the animal (up to the first
six TWENTY because I just found my 20-sided die) and then roll a die. The number that comes up will correspond to the number of the person who guess (for example, if the number rolled is a two, then the second person to correctly guess the animal wins, etc).
If you like, while you’re guessing the animal to win the ARC, you can also pre-order the final print version from Subterranean Press, either in the unsigned trade edition, or the signed, limited edition (only 400 of those). The print version arrives in May, and features awesome cover and interior art by Vincent Chong. And of course, it’s currently available in the audio edition, read by Zachary Quinto.
Good luck with your guessing!
1. Follow directions outlined above, please.
2. Comments in this thread that are not a guess (questions, etc) will be snipped out. Guesses only, please.
3. My decision on the winner is final.
Seeing your entry in the last weeks: Cat!
(Do I need to be more specific?)
Elephants! (I Like Elephants!)
One of your scamperbeasts.
I’m going to guess feline aka cat aka scamperbeast.
It is obviously a Pangolin. Clearly.
It’s a whale that has suddenly fallen to earth!
it’s got to be your cat
Since you didn’t say “Species” but “Animal,” I’m gonna go with Donald Trump.
Penguin, because why not.
Naked Mole Rat
Naked Mole Rat
a unicorn farting rainbows :-P
(But I admit to loving “The Android’s Dream”, and have three fiber fuzzies yelling outside…)
The ever noble cheetah. (Apologies if it’s a dup; password reset required, whee)
Naked mole rat!
A quokka, of course!
Axolotl. It’s almost, though not quite, like a land animal, but let’s face it; how can you NOT be thinking about them.
Pig (I’m going with bacon)
A guinea pig
Krissy is a land animal and a vertabrate.
Lemur. (Frink! Ptang!)
What? It’s a real animal! https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dik-dik
That very specific white tiger who wanted to sit in the box but then pretty much destroyed the box
Given the time of year, reindeer
I’m going to go with a classic here: Cat aka Scamperbeast.
Mans bestest friend, the dog
A sheep, of course. What else?
Thylacine aka Tasmanian tiger.
Giraffe, for the tragic news coverage they’ve been getting lately.
I’m going with the good old Canadian Long Horse, aka the Moose
Coati (a.k.a. coatimundi)
so that’s a tie … right ??
^^^ That’s too bizarre!
Porcupine (I was going to say Armadillo, but that’s been taken :-( ).
South African Honey Badger.
A cat, of course!
Penguins along with Lyle Lovett
Cat is just too obvious. I’ll go with the 2nd obvious (even though I know I won’t win because RARELY ever do) – Reindeer.
I’m wracking my brain because I think there might have been an animal in The Dispatcher but I can’t remember what it was so I’m probably just crazy …. ier.
Bottle Nose Dolphin
A rabbit with a mile wide vicious streak and big sharp teeth?
It’s gotta be a marmot.
Opossum / Possum
I’m going with house cat, meow!
Because I’m an Eeyore fan for nearly 50 years now.
Hippo (you just watched that USPS commercial)
Obviously the Scamperbeasts have influenced you and you are thinking of a cat.
My guess is a giraffe.
Well, it’s a bear.
Second vote for hedgehog, here.
Vote #7 for ocelot!
Paedophryne amanuensis (micro frog)…ribbet
Pangolin. It’s a matter of scale.
damn there are a lot of comments
I say wombat. Mostly that’s because I just like saying “wombat”, but it still works.
Manatee. But NOT dugong.
Werewolf! (Sorry, I just finished The Last Colony.)
You didn’t say *extant* land animal, so I’m going for an extinct animal. Because why not?
the Woolly Mammoth (Mammuthus primigenius)
Blast me for an idiot– LAND animal. Well in that case,clearly it’s a Burmese python.
Was going to guess rhinoceros, specifically a pink one, but there’s so few votes for Dog, and so many for cat, I’m going to say dog. Not that I’m a cat hater at all, the scamper beats are cute:-)
Rodent of Unusual Size!
Kind of difficult to retroactively read your mind . . . hmmm . . . Bat.
Trump on my mind
It’s Christmas, so a hippo.
It’s a Quokka, right? It must be a quokka. I mean, how could you disappoint this face?
Badger. (Tried posting this before and it wouldn’t show up.)
Clearly it must be a GOPHER
Giraffe! Please give it to me…
You were thinking of an aardvark that was netted by a passing airship flying at high speed via its twin props. This ship had been searching for a very rare species of aardvark. The captured aardvark being a particular subspecies that appears to form antibodies to the LQP-79 Zombie virus. You were then interrupted by a cat who seemed bothered by the strange look on your face,
Androids dream sheep
Snow leopard – thanks for the great reads, btw.
And if that’s wrong, I’ve got no egrets.
must be an ostrich so you could hide your head in the sand if needed with all the nonsense going around :D
A cat–specifically a scamperbeast. Probably Sugar.
Hippopotamus, because Sarah Gailey’s RIVER OF TEETH looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. (Importing Hippos to Louisiana as a meat animal, what could go wrong?)
vole. (I was going to say mouse because one broke into the house last night and ate up all our English Muffins, but someone got there before me. And come to think of it, a vole could have just as easily burgled us. So that’s my answer. Vole.)
Gotta be scamperbeast
Mewtwo from Pokemon!
Black-billed wood hoopoe
Goat. It’s always goat.
Going with tiger because tiger!
Sloth (I hope I don’t have to specify how many toes)
Amazonian River Otter
I believe you are thinking of a giraffe because it is the preposterous sort of animal that you would think of.
For anyone guessing Donald Trump… remember he said vertebrate. A Donald Trump is spineless. By the way, the correct animal is Emu.
You are thinking of a Slow loris
It is clearly a koala.
Giant Panda. Can’t think of anything else.
Cat, although I will admit that the very first response that popped into my head was “beaver”. Don’t know why and I have no empirical evidence to back that up so I” going with “cat”. I really like cats.
Guesses seemed to be very focussed on mammals, so maybe I’ll get lucky.
The old cat you lost recently. Can’t remember its name.
Capybara. Not sure of the spelling but it’s the world’s largest species of rodent. Lives in the Amazon rainforest.
It’s that too obvious.
Dog, as in Ralph.
The only animal worth thinking about: a Keeshond!
You are thinking of a quoll. Specifically, a tiger quoll (Dasyurus maculatus). You might not have been thinking about it when you posted this, but you’re thinking about it now.
First thing that came to mind was your cat. But I’m guessing your thinking something else so my guess is
Ursus americanus — the American black bear!
Wallaby. It’s totally a Wallaby.
You’re thinking of a jackelope. :D
Rat. Human sized. And orange. With tiny digits and strange fur.
Aardvark. Of course it’s an aadvark! how could it be anything but an aardvark.
Going to play the percentages here and just guess:
pink fairy armadillo (an actual animal)
A deer. And you are thinking about it because I mentioned it.
African Wild Dog
Kingston’s Bison Boar™ as depicted in The Androids Dream.
It’s obviously a giraffe.
Clearly an aardvark.