Hey, I Feel Like Giving Away This Subterranean Press ARC of “The Dispatcher”

And I could give it away to you! Yes you, wherever you are in the world. I’ll even sign it (and personalize it, if you like).

Here’s what you have to do to enter:

In the comment thread attached to this entry, tell me what animal I’m thinking of right now

(Note: I have told Krissy which animal it is, so I can’t change my mind.)

Two hints: It’s a land animal, and it’s a vertebrate.

Only one animal per entry, one entry per person. Entries with multiple animals will be disqualified as will any additional entries from anyone aside from the first. When you comment, in the “email” field, leave an actual email I can reach you at (don’t leave it in the body of the comment, unless you want everyone to know your email). Only comments here on Whatever will be considered for the contest (i.e., don’t leave comments on Twitter or Facebook or anywhere else).

You have until noon Eastern on Tuesday, December 13, 2016 to enter. I’ll close the comment thread after that.

In the case of multiple people guessing the same animal, I’ll tally up the number of the people who guess the animal (up to the first six TWENTY because I just found my 20-sided die) and then roll a die. The number that comes up will correspond to the number of the person who guess (for example, if the number rolled is a two, then the second person to correctly guess the animal wins, etc).

If you like, while you’re guessing the animal to win the ARC, you can also pre-order the final print version from Subterranean Press, either in the unsigned trade edition, or the signed, limited edition (only 400 of those). The print version arrives in May, and features awesome cover and interior art by Vincent Chong. And of course, it’s currently available in the audio edition, read by Zachary Quinto.

Good luck with your guessing!

875 Comments on “Hey, I Feel Like Giving Away This Subterranean Press ARC of “The Dispatcher””

  1. Notes!

    1. Follow directions outlined above, please.

    2. Comments in this thread that are not a guess (questions, etc) will be snipped out. Guesses only, please.

    3. My decision on the winner is final.

  2. A sheep.
    (But I admit to loving “The Android’s Dream”, and have three fiber fuzzies yelling outside…)

  3. That very specific white tiger who wanted to sit in the box but then pretty much destroyed the box

  4. Cat is just too obvious. I’ll go with the 2nd obvious (even though I know I won’t win because RARELY ever do) – Reindeer.
    I’m wracking my brain because I think there might have been an animal in The Dispatcher but I can’t remember what it was so I’m probably just crazy …. ier.

  5. I say wombat. Mostly that’s because I just like saying “wombat”, but it still works.

  6. Was going to guess rhinoceros, specifically a pink one, but there’s so few votes for Dog, and so many for cat, I’m going to say dog. Not that I’m a cat hater at all, the scamper beats are cute:-)

  7. You were thinking of an aardvark that was netted by a passing airship flying at high speed via its twin props. This ship had been searching for a very rare species of aardvark. The captured aardvark being a particular subspecies that appears to form antibodies to the LQP-79 Zombie virus. You were then interrupted by a cat who seemed bothered by the strange look on your face,

  8. Hippopotamus, because Sarah Gailey’s RIVER OF TEETH looks like it’s going to be a lot of fun. (Importing Hippos to Louisiana as a meat animal, what could go wrong?)

  9. vole. (I was going to say mouse because one broke into the house last night and ate up all our English Muffins, but someone got there before me. And come to think of it, a vole could have just as easily burgled us. So that’s my answer. Vole.)

  10. I believe you are thinking of a giraffe because it is the preposterous sort of animal that you would think of.

  11. Cat, although I will admit that the very first response that popped into my head was “beaver”. Don’t know why and I have no empirical evidence to back that up so I” going with “cat”. I really like cats.

  12. Capybara. Not sure of the spelling but it’s the world’s largest species of rodent. Lives in the Amazon rainforest.

  13. You are thinking of a quoll. Specifically, a tiger quoll (Dasyurus maculatus). You might not have been thinking about it when you posted this, but you’re thinking about it now.

  14. First thing that came to mind was your cat. But I’m guessing your thinking something else so my guess is


  15. Interesting, I’m not the only one to choose vole.
    Inspired by Twentieth-Century Vole!
    (But then why didn’t I choose Python? No matter, vole it is.)

  16. Cat would be too easy. I was going to be the seventh person to guess wombat, but then decided that my final answer will be:
    …Because: “If I say ‘don’t think about elephants,’ what do you think about?” “Elephants.”

  17. i want to change my vote, i just reread that it was vertebrate….
    still sicking with a vaguely polynesian theme though, you were definitely thinking of the:

    Hawaiian Nene, (Branta sandvicensis), the only goose native Hawaii

  18. I can either go through over 600 comments to see what already has more than 20, or I can try and think of something unlikely to have a bunch of responses.


  19. I personally think its the scamperbeasts but my official guess is:


    The only reason for this is nobody seems to have added it to the list yet.

  20. A quick analysis of your twitter feed at the time you posted this competition suggests that you had cats on your mind given the number of cat-themed posts. Therefore, as sad and obvious as it seems, I must guess…

    A CAT!

  21. I’m tempted to go with something you referred to recently, but instead I’m’a go with wombat.