My Problem Right Now
Me: I want to write a long piece on politics today!
Brain: Sorry, man. Not up for it. Too much thinking involved.
Me: But I have important things to say!
Brain: You should have thought about it before you decided to fuel me exclusively on Christmas cookies for three days straight.
Me: What’s wrong with that?
Brain: Dude, carbs and sugar? Exclusively? It’s a miracle I have the attention span to let you put together a sentence, much less paragraphs and think pieces.
Me: What a crock. The cookies have butter. That’s a fat.
Brain: Think about what you’re saying here.
Me: But the world needs me to opine!
Brain: Fine. Six tweets.
Brain: I’ll give you six political tweets today. That’s all I got.
Me: But I’ve already done two political tweets today! Arguably three!
Brain: Better make the next 420 characters count, then.
Me: You’re awful.
Brain: Have another cookie. You’ll feel better.
Me: Mmmmm… Christmas cookies.
Brain: Yeah, that’s what I thought.