And Now, a Trenchant Glimpse Into My Dream Life
Posted on May 24, 2017 Posted by John Scalzi 26 Comments
In my dream last night, I was annoyed at my cats for not sufficiently appreciating the in-ground pool I had installed specifically for them.
Can you blame me? I think not.
While we can not blame you, the cats most certainly can and will blame you.
What could go wrong ?
Now hold on, was the pool filled with water? Or was it more like a skate park type situation?
I’m betting you had the pool installed and then thought your job was done. But wait! What about the poolside service of delicacies by subservient humans? What about the cat bed lounges and the scratching posts? The stocking of fish in the water? Did you dream any of that? NO??? Well, what did you expect as a result then?
I’m going to have to agree. The pool was not, in fact, finished.
I’m sure the cast will tell you that somebody has to be blamed, and you’re the default choice.
In my day, cats got a blow up pool and were happy about it. ** shakes cane **
My cats would love a pool! They’re delighted by water … though DammitMalcolm the Giant Bumblekitten is endlessly surprised by the fact that it’s wet.
Me, taking bath: “Hello, Malcolm.”
Malcolm, jumping onto side if tub: “Meooow.”
Malcolm (in fluent cat): “Hey, look, bubbles! And water. Fun! I love bubbles and water!”
Me: “Just so you know, the water is wet, just like last time.”
****Malcolm sticks his arm into tub of water, poking at bubbles and playing. Pulls arm out. Looks astonished. Shakes water off paw.”****
Malcolm (in fluent cat): “It’s WET!”
Me: “Yes. We discussed this.”
Malcolm: “Hey look! Bubbles and water!” ***sticks arm into tub***
Repeat at infinitum.
You have an unrealistic expectation of your feline overlords.
Cats are evil.
(Updating my user name for full disclosure.)
The header picture on this one is Lopsided Cat. Just think of HIS objections to your pool.
Oh, I had a cat dream last night as well! In my dream, our cats Ada and Linus were replaced by two huge lynx-like creatures. They were sitting in our living room window in Oslo, Norway, obviously very excited by something outside. I walked over to the window, saw a huge brown bear walking by and thought “He must have been sent by Putin and Trump” before I woke up.
Come to think of it, this was my first Presidential dream for more than three decades. I used to dream a lot about Ronald Reagan pushing red buttons in the eighties. You see, Americans, your elections matter a lot to people on the other side of the world. Might keep that in mind the next time? ;)
mrtoads: Heaven forbid :(
Ungrateful cats? That’s one crazy dream.
My wife and I often dream that we are at a Con. See you in Helsinki? My wife will stay home with the dogs, my son (whom you know) and I shall be there, and catch the USA Total Solar Eclipse on the way home…
Had you been chatting with Seanan McGuire about her water-loving Maine Coon cats?
Did the cats actually ask for a pool, or were you pushing your pro-pool agenda on them?
Thank you for the only LOL moment I’ve had today…
It’s pretty bad. Have you tried grovelling to them?
I got the header shot of Zeus and Spice mid-leap. Picturing the hilarity (and photo op) if there had been a pool in their path.
My dream last night lacked cats, but I did try to help someone who wasn’t grateful. I noticed that a Metro bus was just sitting at a stop without its driver, so I hopped in and started driving the route. After a few stops, nobody had boarded, and I started to realize they might think I’d stolen the bus, so I ditched it in the supermarket parking lot.
Oh sure. They bring your feasts to your doorstep with dead birds and mice, but when you showed no appreciation for their generosity, did they complain about you on the internet? They did not.
Granted, they tried but only got as far as knocking the mouse off your desk and then bolting into the kitchen. But still…
You do realize jumping for joy and making loud noises are not things cats do? Also, if the dream cats don’t use the pool as a litter box, isn’t that a win?