A Surprising Consanguinity, Starring Me and Chuck Wendig, Featuring Neil Gaiman, Mikey Neumann and Athena Scalzi
Posted on September 11, 2017 Posted by John Scalzi 15 Comments
It begins thusly:
The internet was made for this. 10 SOLID HOURS of Yakkety Sax. Turn your whole day into a Benny Hill sketch: https://t.co/3eslvlaBFY
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) September 11, 2017
CITIZENS OF THE INTERNET:
Neil Gaiman wants you to drive yourself mad.
Don't give into his NEFARIOUS plan.
Or do, I'm not your dad. https://t.co/QJecyywvZ7
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
SHUT UP, DAD
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
WHAT DID I JUST SAY CHUCK
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
YEAH WELL IF I SAY YOU'RE MY DAD THEN YOU'RE MY DAD, DAD
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
GO TO YOUR ROOM AND THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE SAID
AND MAYBE WRITE ANOTHER BOOK I GUESS THAT'S WHAT THE KIDS DO THESE DAYS I DON'T KNOW
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
OKAY I AM IN MY ROOM AND I WROTE A NEW BOOK AND IT'S CALLED "JOHN SCALZI IS MY DAD AND NO I WON'T TAKE OUT THE TRASH" AND IT IS A BESTSELLER
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
YOU WILL TAKE OUT THE TRASH MY HOUSE MY RULES ALSO CONGRATS ON THE BESTSELLER I GUESS THE BLOODLINE RUNS TRUE
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
NO TO THE TRASH AND ALSO I ATE ALL THE POTATO CHIPS
THE ONES YOU LIKE
NOW LET'S RULE THE PUBLISHING GALAXY AS FATHER AND SON
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
THE JOKE IS ON YOU
I DON'T LIKE THOSE CHIPS
I JUST PRETENDED SO YOU WOULD EAT THEM IN REBELLION
ENJOY THOSE MAYO AND LICORICE CHIPS CHUCK
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
STOP FIGHTING *smashes plate* I can’t live in this house like this anymore!
— Mikey Neumann (@mikeyface) September 11, 2017
FINE THEN GO TO THE ROOF AND LIVE THERE YOUNG MAN
WAIT WHY AM I YELLING AT YOU
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
STOP YELLING AT MIKEY HE IS THE GOOD SON
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY PUT I PUT CAT POOP IN ALL YOUR BURRITOS
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
AND
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
OMG YOU KNEW THIS WHOLE TIME AND YOU KEPT EATING THEM
AND FEEDING THEM TO EVERYONE INCLUDING THE MAILMAN
CONSPIRACY!
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
I TOLD THE MAILMAN YOU MADE THEM
NOW GO LOOK INSIDE THE PACKAGE HE JUST DELIVERED TO YOU
I'LL WAIT
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
WHAT'S IN THE BOX
WHAT'S IN THE BOX, JOHN
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
IT'S AN AWARD, CHUCK
AN AWARD FOR BEING MY BESTSELLING SON
I LOVE YOU, CHUCK
NOT AS MUCH AS MIKEY
BUT STILL
— John Scalzi (@scalzi) September 11, 2017
THIS AWARD LOOKS A LOT LIKE A SEVERED HEAD BUT I WILL TAKE IT THANK YOU BESTSELLING DAD
BRB GOTTA GO BURY MIKEY IN A SHALLOW GRAVE BYE
— Chuck Wendig (@ChuckWendig) September 11, 2017
Postscript:
Hey, @AScalzi98. I think he just disowned you. Over Yakkety Sax. https://t.co/EEjM4jk3EY
— Neil Gaiman (@neilhimself) September 11, 2017
I mean… if it's over Yakkety Sax it's probably worth it. https://t.co/KwNcyxEmrF
— Athena Scalzi ⭐️ (@AScalzi98) September 11, 2017
Share:
- Click to share on Twitter (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Facebook (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Reddit (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on LinkedIn (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Pinterest (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Tumblr (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on WhatsApp (Opens in new window)
- Click to share on Pocket (Opens in new window)
- Click to email a link to a friend (Opens in new window)
Category: Uncategorized
Aaaaaaaand now I have Yakkety Sax stuck in my head. Damn it, Neil Gaiman.
Y’all are ridiculous and made my Monday amazing.
You are all insane and I love each and every crazy one of you!
Conversations like this make the world so much more bearable. (And watching Athena just roll with it is awesome.)
And the true born daughter deservedly gets the last perfect word. Lovely!
Reading this made the world feel a bit more tolerable. I love you all.
Yeah, that was pretty wonderful. I think it’s just about your best humorous Twitter storm yet.
I need a soundtrack to read the New York Times to.
The soundtrack did fit this conversation perfectly. :-P
Authors dinking about with each other on twitter is the best waste of time.
This is the perfect start to my day. Thanks, John, et al.
So when can we expect Athena’s bestseller? ;-)
These family dynamics are disturbing.
But funny.
Why doesn’t it surprise me, Athena wins the thread? :)
The edges of my mouth turned upward.