I Totally Called This

See point four here. I should probably sue! For millions!

(Please note: I will not sue.)

Also I hope the actual film is better than it appears in the trailer, because the trailer appears fairly… meh.

21 thoughts on “I Totally Called This

  1. I thought thought was a joke.

    By the way John, what are the power ball numbers for next week gonna be?

  2. Aww c’mon John, that trailer was adorable. I would totally watch the movie if it was free on Netflix and I didn’t have to leave the house.

  3. I’d say I’m looking forward to the part where a camel sniffs the manger where the li’l savior of humanity lays and say “Pee You! Looks like this messiah needs a diaper change!”

    Except i have no intention of voluntarily seeing this.

  4. There is totally going to be a rapping-animals scene, and I’m trying not to preemptively throw up in my mouth.

  5. Loads of potential here. I can see two cute wise-cracking woodpeckers and some singing woodworms breathe some life into the Crucifixion scene.

  6. Now please write the outline for the sequel: Christ: The Love Story, starring Ariel Winter as Mary Magdalene, the teenage hooker with the heart of gold.

  7. Your idea looks better.

    I mean, “The story of the first Christmas???” Wow. No. But it does fit nicely with a culture that taught generations of school children to believe that Christopher Columbus was a great hero who discovered America and proved the earth wasn’t flat. 😒

  8. I couldn’t finish watching the trailer. So, John your “meh” appraisal is high praise in my opinion. But, this should appeal to all those who thought Mel Gibson’s “The Passion of Christ” was Oscar material.

  9. Back in 2014, you said you were going to Hell for this. Reprieve! Now *they’re* going to Hell.

  10. Don French: Your Mary Magdalene movie will be released in the United States next March 30. You asked for it . . .

  11. @ naomikritzer – “Risen” is an excellent movie, including on the small screen. I encourage you to rent it or get it at the library; I bought it and have re-watched it several times. Did you realize that the man who plays the lead (the Tribune) is also the lead in the current TV show, “Handmaid’s Tale”? Hope you enjoy “Risen” like I did. :-)

    As for this movie, it reminds me a little of an old TV special, “The Night the Animals Talked,” which was also about the Nativity except that it was sweet and for small children and had a message of kindness and accepting outsiders, whilst this looks to be yet another wise-cracking shallow-souled piece. I suspect it’ll get little notice this holiday season and pass into the oblivion where such things go.

  12. I’m with Aaron Taylor on this. Surely this is a jape or pastiche,
    like the fake trailers in Tropic Thunder.

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