The Pixel 2 is a tough little phone, but it turns out when you drop it from a decent height onto ceramic tile riiiiight on the corner, you may still have a problem or two. A thing to be aware of, folks.
Fortunately I procured a replacement Pixel 2, and with the transfer of the SIM card, everything was up and running painlessly — so painlessly, in fact, that I was a little surprised at how painless it was. I usually go into the local phone store to do all the transferring and so on and whatnot, and that takes time out of my day. But I did this one at home, and… well, no time at all. A lesson may have been learned here.
Another lesson learned: I had been resisting getting a case for the phone, because I quite liked the aluminum and glass aesthetic, and also because I liked the slimness of the naked phone. But clearly there’s a user issue — that dude is clumsy. So, case it is.