In Which Smudge Is Convinced That He Will Get Food From the Dinner Table If He’s Cute Enough While He Reaches For It

Meanwhile, Spice, in the background, knows better.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

22 replies on “In Which Smudge Is Convinced That He Will Get Food From the Dinner Table If He’s Cute Enough While He Reaches For It”

Oh, yes. Oh very yes indeed. That was destined from the moment you named him Smudge.

Our similarly-named feline (Smudgely) is nicknamed “Hoover,” because he is a four-legged vacuum cleaner. He is up on the counters and up on the table and up on the stove and up on top of the refrigerator and up on the range hood CONSTANTLY – we have to keep all food-like items carefully locked away at all times, or he will find and eat them. He has eaten and to all appearances enjoyed bread, cookies, apples, green beans, nuts, cereal, Brussels sprouts, asparagus, celery, carrots, cabbage, broccoli, cherries, and rum-soaked fruitcake. Every single cabinet door in our kitchen is carefully rubber-banded closed, lest the little barstad get in and find some tasty little morsel that is really not best suited to his digestion to nosh upon.

So, yes, the fact that young Master Smudge adorably reaches that one paw up to the table and adorably tries to convince you to share just a tiny morsel of that delicious supper is no surprise to me at all. The only thing that does surprise me is that he doesn’t leap up to your shoulder to try to snag a bite straight off your fork as it passes his nose. And if you ask nicely, I won’t let my Smudgely teach your Smudge that little trick.

When my big sister left for college, I got my first cat, Samantha. Sam’s table manners were typically exemplary, but when Mom made liver and onions, with bacon (of course), all bets were off. Sam would sneak onto Laura’s empty chair and the paw would come up, reaching carefully to snag some of that yummy stuff. It almost looked like the paw had eyes, like a periscope. Cuter than heck, but only tolerated once.

Our 7 year old female cat Aella, waits until dinner cleanup and as soon as the dishwasher door closes she starts yeowling (not meowing) for treats. The 12 year old male just sits in the doorway and waits for the outcome.

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