A Weight Loss Strategy I Can’t In Good Conscience Recommend

It’s called food poisoning! And if you look at the weight chart above, covering this week (I have one of those scales that records my weight every time I step on it), you can probably guess when I had it. I’m here to tell you it wasn’t pleasant.

Fortunately it seems to have run its course — sleeping most of the day yesterday helped — and today I’m better, if a little tired and hungry. I’ll mostly be sticking with simple foods and lots of liquids. Also, don’t be expecting mental miracles from me today, I’m still mostly in a lower gear. But it’s still nice to have the worst of it past me.

So that was my last couple of days. Hope yours were better.

39 Comments on “A Weight Loss Strategy I Can’t In Good Conscience Recommend”

  1. I just recovered from a two-week bout of pneumonia but I doubt I’d have been willing to trade illnesses with you. I just felt awful and nearly coughed up a lung but I was never wrapped around the toilet, crying and blowing pukey snot bubbles (good punk band name!) wishing I was dead. Glad you’re feeling better.

  2. Very sorry that you have been ill, and I hope your recovery continues smoothly. My spouse had an episode of food poisoning a few years ago and was bedridden and miserable for three solid days, followed by over a week of less-than-optimum energy, so we know that stuff is not to be fooled with. Glad that “the worst of it is past” you (and I have to wonder if you were awake enough when you wrote that phrase to see the pun, which made me snicker). Feel better!

  3. I can see how that went. “Yes I’m doing well, yes lost some more, yes even lighter, wow this feels good. OK now I will reward myself with a steak-out for all my hard work. UGGGHHHHH! SHIT.” Am I close?

  4. Weight loss based on dehydration doesn’t count, so you don’t even get that “good side”.
    Feel better as soon as possible, and not JUST so I can enjoy your entertainment value.

  5. My sympathy! There’s an IHOP in town that my wife and I will never enter again — one episode, years ago, will never be forgotten.

    Any idea where you got it?

  6. Ugh – I had it about five years ago. Two days alternating between bed and toilet and two more of feeling like crap after that. Hop you’re back to normal soon!

  7. At least you were home. I got it once on a business trip in Gulfport, MI. I had to do a half hour presentation the day after. Thank goodness I made it through that without having an explosive episode onstage.

    I hope you’re better. Maybe try some yogurt.

  8. I had this happen on a Madagascar vacation. Luckily, it was the kind where I *felt* fine the whole time, just couldn’t keep anything *up*. 20 lbs and two weeks later…

  9. Glad you’re on the other side of it. Thought I’d mention another really bad weight loss idea; cancer. Colorectal cancer is sometimes found when a person experiences rapid weight loss. Highly unrecommended.

  10. And now for some unrequested medical advice…as soon as you can leave the BRAT period (easily digestible foods), gently add a fruit with its skin on (my go-to are grapes) or yogurt to gradually repopulate your gut flora. Every once a decade, I get a bad case of norovirus and my doctor recommended this and I found it greatly spread up the recovery time to get my appetite back. Both foods are full of water, safe, and nutrient rich. I have a genetic quirk in my electron transport chain of my mitochondria so drugs in the diazepam family and alcohol doesn’t really affect me so the wonder drug, Compazine, seems like a miracle…

  11. Yup, sounds like everybody gets to do that at least once. I remember how a part of my brain was observing and being very impressed by my body’s efficiency at getting rid of what shouldn’t be in there. It’s a fine experience to be finished with.

  12. eating pizza right now, a desk jockey tummy and I feel fine … hah….hope you feel better. I had it once, it was some eat place and old carrot cake…u make yer own food up and it will never happen ….I had a cold slight one whole time you were feeling badly,,,are we in synch somehow ? I am better now too.

  13. Yup, that does suck. Been there, done that, worn the hospital gown. Get well soon, and stick to the bland beige foods for the next week or so. That would be my advice, the human intestine has a long memory and a history of truculent rebellion. At least mine do, in any case.

  14. Had it (gastroenteritis) two years ago, Super Bowl weekend. 51 hours of running to the toilet before it was over. Miserable, and the worst part was, I put the dam’ weight back on! TANJ!

  15. This post reminds me of my most effective weight-loss strategy. I call it “The Unemployment Diet”. Unfortunately, the weight doesn’t stay off after resuming regular paid worki…

  16. Your soul is only 21 grams, John.

    Spit it out, whose have you been stealing all these years.

  17. Nothing like some time with the porcelain god to put life in perspective… Gotta watch what goes into those burritos, Not everything that comes in a neatly tight package comes out the same way.
    Hope you get back to feeling like a human being soon instead of some alien with his insides on the outsides…

  18. Oh ye gods. The only thing worse than ‘yelling at the road’ with food poisoning is the type that requires you to be seated on the throne with a trash can or other waterproof container in front of you. Please to get better fast!

  19. Been there, threw up that. Still remember every time I see a submarine sandwich, get better.

  20. I used to be a liability claim adjuster. What most people refer to as food poisoning is simply a 24 hour virus. Think about it. If the food was bad, except in very isolated circumstances, others would be sick too.

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