In a Last-Minute Casting Change, the Role of “Cat Who Lies in the Middle of a Stair, Causing the Humans to Carefully Route Around It” Will Be Portrayed By Smudge

Usually this critical role in the Scalzi house drama is played by Sugar, but clearly Smudge is proving an able understudy. Also, if you ever hear that I have died from a fall down the stairs, a cat will almost certainly be the reason why. Please act surprised nevertheless.

21 Comments on “In a Last-Minute Casting Change, the Role of “Cat Who Lies in the Middle of a Stair, Causing the Humans to Carefully Route Around It” Will Be Portrayed By Smudge”

  1. We have come to terms with the fact that one of our cats is actively trying to kill us.

  2. Yesterday upon the stair
    I saw a cat who wasn’t there
    He wasn’t there again today
    I wish, I wish he’d go away…

    When I came home last night at three
    The cat was waiting there for me
    But when I looked around the hall
    I couldn’t see the cat at all!
    Go away, go away, don’t you come back any more!
    Go away, go away, and please don’t slam the door… (slam!)

    Last night I saw upon the stair
    A little cat who wasn’t there
    He wasn’t there again today
    Oh, how I wish he’d go away…

    With apologies to Hughes Mearns, of course.

  3. I removed my cat from my will, but apparently this failed to change her stair ambush ambitions on my life.

  4. My sister-in-law works at the county Medical Examiner’s Office. She and my brother adopted a cat that was left behind when an elderly lady died. They speculated that the cat had gotten underfoot and tripped her, finishing her off.

  5. My cat is a master at the “Trip My Human” Tango. My two left feet frequently stutter in mid-air in an effort to keep me upright!!

  6. Perhaps they are missing due to the angle of the photo, but some stair rails might help navigating the Great Cat Ambush Zone.

  7. A cat… and a burrito. Ahem. Mr. Scalzi was awake at 3am and in urgent need of nourishment while working on an extremely important passage for his latest novel. Upon traversing the strait of Cattering (as it is now known on the internet), Mr. Scalzi plummeted to his untimely doom. His cryptic last words: Smudge! Sugar! Cajun sauce! Found clutched tightly in his fist a the bottom of the staircase: a recipe for fish burritos. Both cats are presumed innocent. The only eye witness, Zeus, was unavailable for comment.

  8. I will undoubtedly be killed by my cat, not in a staircase mishap, but when she suffocates me in my sleep, by curling up directly on top of my face. As she seems to find that an irresistible place to sleep while I am sleeping.

  9. @Dave I also have a cat, Smudge(!), who was re-homed after being found curled up in the garden next to the body of her elderly owner. Upon hearing the story my BIL immediately said “Demon cat! Smudge killed the old lady!!!” So far she has kept any homicidal urges to herself but then she was 8 when I got her so maybe I’m safe for a few more years

  10. Sugar, by amazing coincidence, fell down some stairs recently.

    Smudge, you’re going out as understudy, but coming back a STAR!

  11. Cats have been the undoing of many of the elderly. I no longer own any cats but I do have a 115 lb tripping hazard named Blues
    and a 15 lb serious tripping hazard named Rythem.

  12. I’ve found that placing food in bowls far away from the stairs temporarily alleviates the danger of cat-related falls.

  13. Interesting perspective. Hide the bottom (top) step with the Scalzi feet on it and it looks like the cat is lying on a stair step as the viewer looks up the stairway. Or perhaps Scalzi has on a pair of toeless mag-boots and is actually taking the picture from a horizontal position (utilizing those amazing 8-minute abs!). I mean, come on man, surely a famous science fiction writer has some type of sciency gadgetry around the house!

    As I wrote here at the time, we lost our beloved cat, Max, a couple of months ago to cancer, but our 8 year old miniature schnauzer, Niko, has these orange rubber balls the size of tennis balls we play catch with down our long, wide hallway (in the winter – we play outdoors in the warm dry weather), which, when not in use, I swear he leaves as traps just outside the bedroom doors. No one has fallen or sprained an ankle yet but I know it’s coming! Fortunately, there are no nearby stairs on which to tumble down.

  14. That’s just beautiful. My apartment has three flights of stairs; sadly pets are not permitted, though this is probably a good thing. It is way too easy to go flying over items perched at the bottom and the top of the steps, waiting to be hauled upstairs or downstairs; adding an extra level of feline peril is probably a direct link to the nearest A&E…

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