The first look is one I like to call “Newly Divorced Suburban Dad Makes His First Tinder Profile”:
The second is “Man Wrongly Convicted is Finally Released, But Prison Has Changed Him”:
I don’t know, maybe I have them reversed. It’s so confusing.
Also: Hello, in addition to getting a haircut I broke a tooth and had to get an emergency temporary crown, and now my mouth feels like someone kissed it with a jackhammer, so, uuhhhhh, not a lot of writing got done today. How are you?