Look, I know you people adore Smudge, but as a still-young male cat, he’s got a lot of “asshole” in him that he hasn’t completely got out of his system yet. And the time he likes to burn through some of that is roughly between the hours of 2 am and 5 am. Which means from time to time it sounds like the house is being ransacked, when it’s just him having his evening constitutional and/or annoying one of the other cats in the house. It’s a known issue and time will sort it out. In the meantime, however, there are occasional text exchanges like this one, from one side of the house to the other. This is what you get for having cats, basically.