27 Comments on “Today’s Quote That I Actually Texted Someone Which I Am Now Providing You Without Context”

1. Mind you, in context it’s not much better.

2. If I had a dollar for every time I had to say that…

3. i want to save the cover image and use as my facebook cover….can i do that?

4. What happened to Pish?

5. Well, when I was a kid, I did eat mayonnaise straight from the jar.

   Until my mother caught me doing it.

6. I didn’t know you were friends with the Spice Girls.

7. The poor man’s colonoscopy prep.

8. Judging from the past history of your personal digestive system, if you ate said contents as part of a burrito, it is probably non-lethal (at least so far).

9. Peanut butter?

10. I REALLY want kraft cheese topping now. (But not enough to spend $22 on amazon for it…)

11. you’re just going to dangle that out there an not tell us the outcome?

12. Any SFF writers’ workshop worth its salt is, right now, saving up that sentence as the basis for a Day One short-story-writing challenge.

13. Rick Moon wins the Internet for today!

14. I’ve read that Appalachian Trail thru-hikers eat mayo right out of the jar with some regularity.

15. This sounds like Wellness advice. Are you moving in on Gwyneth’s turf now, Scalzi? Careful, one of those jade eggs to the head can put you in the hospital.

    Or so I was told…by a friend.

16. We had a cat that discovered a bottle of mineral oil and for some reason decided to consume a large quantity of it. The cat was fine apparently (whew) but oozed oil through her fur for the next week. And the downstream effects were… unpleasant.

17. Saffy the Pool beat me to it, but my version was:

    John. Only professionals should be performing colonoscopies.

18. Queso in a jar?

19. SmartBlood? Ewwww…

20. I use emulsified palm oil often. as it sets up like shortening. It isn’t Hydrogenated and has reappraised my use of shorting for a baking mix. My question is in how to get it out of the jar?

    I know that 125 degrees will melt it, if your temperature is that high, your should visit your doctor

21. Some jars of mayo/salad dressing are quite small. I’m sure a cup or two of emulsified oils can be a nutritious part of your complete breakfast.

22. I believe that’s “Oh, pish”. Unless, of course, it’s Tenuta Di Capezzana Extra Virgin Olive Oil, which would indeed be posh.

23. “What could possibly go wrong” is right up there with “Is that all you’ve got” in the category of questions you don’t ask the Universe unless you’re ready to receive the worst possible answer.

24. “…what could possibly go wrong…”

    That sounds amazingly similar to, “Hey y’all, watch this.”

25. “Hold my beer and get the camera ready.”

26. I thought an emulsion was a mix of chemicals that were not miscible, such as oil and water.

    So I’m confused by emulsified oil (as in mayonnaise is an emulsion, period), but not by the thought that you ate the jar it came in.

27. Mayonnaise?