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This Just In: Krissy is Coming to End You

Oh, don’t look so shocked. You know what you did.

(Yes, that’s right, you didn’t recycle. And, you forgot to cut up the plastic rings on that six-pack! You’re doomed. Doomed, I tell you!)

Enjoy the rest of your Friday. And may God have mercy on your soul.

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

32 replies on “This Just In: Krissy is Coming to End You”

Is this why she bought the new saws-all? I’m a long way from Ohio but that look gives me pause.
I’ve only received that look from my wife once a long time ago. I apologized immediately and my life was spared.
Good luck John!

Better off if she was on a rampage against those who recycle their pizza boxes. That is the real no-no. The grease is a bad apple and the Chinese have quit taking American recycling because of it. One cup is not that big of a deal, unless you threw it on the ground.

Don’t you know that the recycling gene is on the SECOND X chromosome? Requires reinforcement CBV

Taking out the garbage is on the Y chromosome.

I did SO cut up the rings on the six packs! I have the scar to show it.

Let me give you all a word of advice. When you have a few friends over for barbecue (carefully spaced to preserve social distance, and none of them allowed in my house!) and drinks, and they each give you a few cans to put in the fridge, cut the plastic rings BEFORE you start drinking…

After they’d left, I took the scissors to the rings I’d left on the kitchen counter, and promptly cut right into my index finger…

Mr. Scalzi – a simple question: at whom was she looking when that photo was taken? Yes, it was you. Not me. So, nice try at misdirection, but you are the one who should be examining his soul for recycling sins…

Everyone should have their own Krissy coming to end them! I don’t need to tell you how fortunate you are to have found such a lifemate.

A hundred years of happiness to you both, renewable at the original price.

B-b-b-b-b-b-but I do recycle, I swear! And if you know me, you know I swear all the time! I mean recycle, even though my municipality doesn’t.
You should sick her on the cheeto-in-chief. Ill bet he doesn’t recycle!!! She’s spooooooky, and he could use a good scare.

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