This Just In: Krissy is Coming to End You

Oh, don’t look so shocked. You know what you did.

(Yes, that’s right, you didn’t recycle. And, you forgot to cut up the plastic rings on that six-pack! You’re doomed. Doomed, I tell you!)

Enjoy the rest of your Friday. And may God have mercy on your soul.

32 Comments on “This Just In: Krissy is Coming to End You”

  1. Hope Griffin Diaz – North Carolina – So, to borrow from a popular shirt, I love Jesus but I cuss a little. Well, a lot. In fact, I just don't believe Jesus really gives a shit about the word fuck. He does care if you say f you or go f yourself. But a general adjective? Nah. I am married to the love of my life, Louie (aka Luis) and have an adult child, Christy. My mum, Nancy, is still with us and active in our lives. I love to read, I fancy myself an amateur gardener, I am owned by a large black purr machine maine coon cat named Samwise aka #SamSam and a Border Collie/Australian Cattle dog mix named Daisy. I knit. I craft. I sew. These are at my leisure and are hobbies. I don't take commissions nor do I do alterations. I'm an aspiring human being. I battle several mental illnesses including depression, major panic disorder, agoraphobia, germaphobia, claustrophobia, and some other assorted illnesses. I also have fibromyalgia and have had numerous traumatic brain injuries (into the double digits now). I am not able to drive at night. I don't know where this blog is going ... if anywhere.
    Hope Griffin Diaz

    Not only do I recycle (and I take glass to the recycling center because the recyclers won’t pick it up), I cut up soda rings AND the rings that are around bottles like almond milk or spaghetti sauce. Those are thick plastic. They usually are recycalable but I still cut them just in case because I love baby seals and dolphins.

    Good Day, Sir and Madam. I said Good Day!

  2. I need that look when I reach into the cupboard for a pop-tart instead of getting an apple.

  3. Is this why she bought the new saws-all? I’m a long way from Ohio but that look gives me pause.
    I’ve only received that look from my wife once a long time ago. I apologized immediately and my life was spared.
    Good luck John!

  4. Better off if she was on a rampage against those who recycle their pizza boxes. That is the real no-no. The grease is a bad apple and the Chinese have quit taking American recycling because of it. One cup is not that big of a deal, unless you threw it on the ground.

  5. Don’t you know that the recycling gene is on the SECOND X chromosome? Requires reinforcement CBV

    Taking out the garbage is on the Y chromosome.

  6. I did SO cut up the rings on the six packs! I have the scar to show it.

    Let me give you all a word of advice. When you have a few friends over for barbecue (carefully spaced to preserve social distance, and none of them allowed in my house!) and drinks, and they each give you a few cans to put in the fridge, cut the plastic rings BEFORE you start drinking…

    After they’d left, I took the scissors to the rings I’d left on the kitchen counter, and promptly cut right into my index finger…

  7. Sorry Johnny boy, if you ever want to send Krissy my way then, hell, I’ll pay you. How much do you want?

  8. Mr. Scalzi – a simple question: at whom was she looking when that photo was taken? Yes, it was you. Not me. So, nice try at misdirection, but you are the one who should be examining his soul for recycling sins…

  9. Everyone should have their own Krissy coming to end them! I don’t need to tell you how fortunate you are to have found such a lifemate.

    A hundred years of happiness to you both, renewable at the original price.

  10. B-b-b-b-b-b-but I do recycle, I swear! And if you know me, you know I swear all the time! I mean recycle, even though my municipality doesn’t.
    You should sick her on the cheeto-in-chief. Ill bet he doesn’t recycle!!! She’s spooooooky, and he could use a good scare.

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