The Athena Mallet

As some of you wondered whether Athena would have use of the Mallet (as we call the ability to moderate the comments here), and whether she would get her own mallet or have to borrow mine, the picture above should answer your question: She does, and she has her own. The mallet in question here is a gift from a friend, and it is delightful (and yes, for those of you who don’t know, I also have an actual real world mallet as well, mine in the shape of an oversized judge’s gavel). We’re the Mallet-Wielding Scalzis, we are.

What we don’t know yet is what Athena chooses to call her mallet. Mine is — of course — the Mallet of Loving Correction. We’ll see how Athena decides to name her own. I’m looking forward to finding out. I hope none of you ever have to have it applied to you.

— JS

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

46 replies on “The Athena Mallet”

Aaaand now I’m imagining a caution sign for the comments, pirate-flag style, of the Malletses crossed and proud over a black background. Or possibly over a kitten.

I have started to scroll to the end of the piece first to know who wrote it. Wondering if you guys won’t always put the JS or AMS (my son’s and father’s initials) and we’ll have to figure it out by context? It’s pretty clear in this post, but not sure about future posts.

No suggestions on mallet name.

How about a contest?

“Name Athena’s Mallet”

If Athena is willing, she could put up a post; in comments, a person could enter one (and only one, to drive the hyperliterate among us insane) suggestion. If Athena likes one, the “winner” would donate $20 to the charity of Athena’s choice. The “losers” would each donate $10. If Athena did not choose any of them, all the “losers” would donate $10. Athena could, if she chose, buy her choice for $20 to that charity. Link the charity if there is a “team” option, just link if not.

It’s entirely appropriate that Athena’s mallet has XX on it.

For the benefit of a certain subsegment of trolls around here who have questioned the other mallet-wielder’s… manliness at times, getting whapped by the XX mallet will prove entirely appropriate, although probably not educational (because that requires a willingness to learn).

Now that I think about it, doesn’t that mallet with XX indicate that Jamie’s Mallet-Wielding Scalzis videogame would be taken as a seeeeeeecret plot? Or a hint that the first installment in the series is subtitled “Revenge Upon GamerGate”?

> Mallet-Wielding Scalzis
never mind video game…
Netflix needs content…
assuming our fearless orange leader hacks the election as threatened… 13 episodes about a secretive anti-Trumpian conspiracy determined to pry loose evil and save kittens and other daring-do… instead of a batmobile, your new chair gets upgraded with anti-grav and hellfire missiles and other such absurdities…

Just to say that I especially enjoy the prospect of a father/daughter partnership, and that I salute you both and hope you have a lot of fun working together in your newly expanded relationship. Thank you for sharing the process with us. Beau courage!

I don’t think you can hammer the commentariat about the lack of puns. I don’t think they are a coquettish group that would gavel an adjournment to puns quite yet. I don’t think its an act of mallets to skip the puns but instead an abnormallety in the delay. We will just need to drum up some puny statements and hope that the puns aren’t crushed by the Athena Mallet.

My apologies for the punishment but I am both an engineer and a dad.

Welcome to the Order of the Banhammer. (I’m part of the moderation staff on and that’s one of the welcomes we give to new mods).

Elizabeth Mallet was a late 17th century English printer and bookseller, who launched the first daily newspaper, the Daily Courant in 1702. So how about Bess (which has also been the name of a fair number of muskets)?

From the Scalzi Twitter feed, a post showing a large truck explaining “Regraveling Day” – and I honestly thought it said “Regaveling Day”.

Not actually a thing apparently.

I would assume Krissy has free access to the Mallets when or if she wants, but now that 2/3 of the (human members of the) family have their own personal Mallets does she want one of her own as well?

The furry members of the family have their own weapons and so don’t need Mallets.

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