I Have a Confession

After years of debating whether or not to come forward with this, I have finally decided to let it be known. This is a truth about myself that I am ashamed for my family to know, as well as all of you. But I shan’t keep this dark secret any longer.

I don’t like bacon.

tons of bacon

Athena ScalziIt is the worst breakfast meat. Anything that comes with bacon on it, like a burger or a sandwich, is better off sans bacon. Anything bacon flavored or bacon scented is just gross. Especially things like potato chips or other snacks foods.

For starters, bacon is dangerous and painful to cook. I have been splattered many a time by the grease, and it scares me to cook it. Secondly, it doesn’t keep well! If you have leftover bacon, what are you supposed to do with it? Heat it back up the next day in the microwave? No way. Also, another point about the grease, there’s so much of it and you can’t pour it down the drain or into the trash so you just have to pour it in a cup and let it solidify? Bizarre.

Not only do I not like bacon, I really am not a fan of anything the ol pig has to offer, except ham. Sausage, pork chops, bacon, all of it is a no-go for me. Ham can stay, though. I will admit, I like candied bacon, but that’s only because I like anything if there’s enough sugar on it. Same goes for chocolate covered bacon; it’s mostly just chocolate so I don’t complain much there.

One thing I do like, however, that is akin to bacon is really tender pork belly in ramen.

bowl of ramen with pork belly in it

(image taken from Mike’s Mighty Good Craft Ramen)

So, I guess I’m kind of hit or miss when it comes to meat from a pig. I’m kind of the same way with poultry; very picky and not easily impressed with things like chicken breast.

Obviously, the best use for bacon is taping it to a cat.

Let me know if you’re a bacon fan, like my dad, or a hater like me in the comments! And have a great day!

-AMS

115 Comments on “I Have a Confession”

  1. Yeah, I’m with your dad on this one. Bacon is awesome and makes every dish better. IMO, it’s the #1 breakfast meat, and deserves to be part of lunch and dinner, too.

  2. I envy you. I love bacon (but not on hamburgers). It isn’t good for me. If I didn’t like it, that would make it easier to not eat it.

  3. My favorite way to eat pig is in a burrito. A carnitas burrito with salsa verde is just heaven. But, then again, I like most of the pig, so… ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

    What’s your take on meatloaf? Just the thought of that makes me want to be sick. XD

  4. Wow, trying to figure out which is more likely — switched at birth or alien abduction.

    Probably alien abduction, because the odds of any other human baby not liking bacon are just too low.

  5. Bacon cooked in the oven, no splatter. Also, then the grease doesn’t get janky and when you pour it off it’s a creamy white, suitable for frying eggs or onions or whatever you are next frying that would otherwise require butter.

    If I had leftover bacon, I would crumble it atop squash soup or deviled eggs or use it for spaghetti carbonara.

    And when I can’t have bacon (hello, cholesterol) But want that smoky flavor, smoked paprika eases that craving.

  6. I’m with you on bacon. Maybe once a year, max 2 strips, with eggs over easy and hash browns. But NEVER on a sandwich, including burgers. Ruins the flavor.

  7. The upside is there is more for your Dad. (And thieving cats.)

    One of my regrettable pandemic discoveries is that bacon makes a wonderful foundation for stir fry. The grease comes in handy, and enough vegetables wipes out the guilt.

  8. I am from the UK and we mostly love bacon but it is not like American bacon. I was traumatised the one time I had bacon in the USA. It was plain weird and they add syrup to it! Here in England we have dry cured bacon, made locally by local butchers. You more or less know the pig the bacon came from (which can be off putting). The bacon does not shrink or give off much fat when you fry it and no water either. Best of all, it is sold in rashers so you just cook what you plan to eat – no waste. Proper UK sausages are an amazing thing too and have to be tried. My local butcher sells a whole variety, rare breed, spicy sizzlers and so on. Visit the UK when the plague is over and we will show you proper grub.

  9. I’m about 90% there with Athena.

    There are some very select uses for it, but generally I don’t like it or ‘bacon flavoring’. I usually ask for it not to be included on salads, pizzas, etc. That said, there’s a local ranch here that makes really excellent bacon, but it’s closer to salted pork than store-bought bacon.

  10. Gasp! This is just so, so, sad.

    Were I one who prays, I’d pray for you. (I’m not so I got nuthin’. Sorry)

  11. Can’t agree with you on bacon, or other pork products. I love them all, though ham the least (and I grew up in Virginia eating the original Smithfield ham). I am 100% with you, however, on bacon flavoring. It is just vile. Despite how much I like bacon, the trend to put bacon on, well, everything, is simply bizarre. Ice cream? In drinks? Umm, what?

  12. I am a very big fan of bacon, but everyone has to walk their own path. Yours may intersect with mine in the future, and if that day comes, I will gladly accept any bacon you do want! Perhaps I could trade you some white chocolate (truly the work of an evil chocolatier) for the bacon?

  13. So when the first local ripe tomatoes show up, I buy extra bacon, because there is no sandwich superior to a BLT with Hellman’s Mayo. I will admit that really great ripe tomatoes are better on the side, because they’re so juicy the sandwich falls apart.

    And the bacon fat, it always goes into a mason jar in the fridge for use in cooking. Refried beans aren’t without bacon fat. So many ways to cook with good bacon fat. Potatoes fry better in bacon fat than any other substance.

    Haven’t ever tried baking bacon, sounds like a good way to go. It can spatter. I always wear pants for bacon frying! [that’s a running joke from BalloonJuice.com, but also true! You would be nuts to fry bacon in the nude!]

  14. You couldn’t have admitted that you worshipped Satan? (Who amongst hasn’t worshipped Satan from time to time?)

    That said, the cleanup points are very valid as a reason not to COOK bacon, not to not eat it (restaurants by preference).

    Anything cooked in grease, like bacon, or a periodic treat I make for my wife…”Marvin’s Garlic Cheeseburgers” from the college hangout at her college in small town Indiana…are treats mainly because the amount of time to clean up usually exceeds prep and cooking time, even if I DO use baking sheets lined with aluminum foil for bacon.

  15. Not only a bacon lover here, but I have the requisite jar of reserved bacon grease in the fridge. My Southern heritage demands it. :)

    Besides how do you make gravy for biscuits if you don’t have bacon grease handy?

  16. The short version of the Voight-Kampff test only has one question: “Do you like bacon?”

  17. There are 2 kinds of people in this world… those who like bacon and those who are wrong. Best way to cook it is in an air-fryer/convection oven on a wire rack. Suspended over the grease, but not touching it. Also, there is no leftover bacon. There is only bacon I have not yet stolen off of f somebody else’s plate.

  18. There is something you can do with leftover bacon! Cooked bacon can be stored in the freezer. I crumble it up and use it later for salads, scrambled eggs, or whatever I fancy a bit of bacon on or in.

    Some of you bacon-loving folks may ask why there are leftovers of such yummy goodness, but the fact is that we’re now empty nesters and are now re-learning about creating ways to deal with leftovers.

  19. If it makes you feel better I dislike bacon for the most part and the idea of bacon donuts is horrific beyond measure!

  20. The world’s first Bacon Reveal party, brought to you by Athena Scalzi.
    I like bacon. A lot.
    You’ve got to go to extremes to make me say no to bacon, like maybe bacon flavored ice cream, or bacon flavored vodka.

  21. (Read the blog title, and I immediately thought of the Foo Fighters “Best of You”. )

    Next realized that there’s really no part of an animal I won’t eat as long as they are edible. Snails (escargot)? Bring them on. Beef tongue? Yes please. Ojo (beef eyeball) tacos? Quite tasty. Pickled pigs feet? Yum. Chitlins? Sure.

    Never had chicken feet like the Chinese prepare them, but I would. They are apparently crispy/crunchy like potato chips.

    I’m not trying to change your mind, but I am curious. Besides the “meta” aspects of bacon around it’s cooking, mess, leftovers, and the entertainment value when you tell people that you don’t like bacon – what is it about the taste, texture, flavor etc that you don’t like?

    I also agree with you that stuff that is “bacon-flavored” is gross; but that applies to just about anything that is “x-flavored” but doesn’t actually include any of the “x” in it. It’s all just chemicals to fake us out.

  22. It never occurred to me that leftover bacon might exist.

    The cook of the house (who is not me) now swears by baking it in the oven on a rack.

  23. I could not live without bacon! That being said, I agree about cooking it…totally horrible! But, try it in the oven – so much easier – no splatter and easy cleanup, just line pan with foil first! Try it! If you don’t like it, I’m sure your dad will take care of it for you!

  24. I’ve tried being a vegetarian two times. What brought me back to the dark side both times? Bacon.

    I’ve been to “Bacon week” restaurant events that included bacon based cocktails and bacon in all three courses plus bacon in the dessert, so, yeah… I like bacon.

  25. On the whole I am a fan of bacon, but have been known to go months without eating it. Bacon isn’t always good for me, so…

    It’s fine that you don’t like bacon. Now if you were telling us that you didn’t like cheese, that would be something.

  26. I don’t get the excitement around bacon. When there is bacon, I might eat some; when there is none, well, there’s none. Maybe it’s a case of “not bad”, but that’s about it, no special feelings. But candied bacon? Chocolate covered bacon? That sounds… adventurous, I’m not even sure it’s available in this part of the world.

  27. I like bacon, but I MUCH prefer sausage. Also, I don’t like the vast majority of cheeses – parmesan tastes and smells disgusting to me – so I empathize with you on having this dark dark secret you are letting into the light!

  28. Maryland, specifically the Baltimore area, has a great way to eat a pig, called Pit Ham. Use your favorite mechanism to smoke a boneless ham, then cut it in finely shaved slices on a bun.Sauces optional. Other Pit style meats are good (Turkey and Beef), but Pit Ham is to die for. Thank you, pig!

    Oops, the subject was bacon. My spouse cooks it in one of those Flavorwave appliances, which avoids all the spatter, and does it just right, slightly crispy, but not overdone. So much bacon flavored stuff! Heavenly as an infrequent treat, if I ate it every day, I think I would soon despise it.

  29. Seeing as I spent this morning making bacon jam (bacon, onions, brown sugar, a pinch of cayenne, a splash of balsamic vinegar–bliss) I am obviously in the Bacon camp. In terms of the peril of bacon-making, may I suggest the “Bacon Wave,” one of those silly gadgets marketed on late night TV? It makes perfect bacon in the microwave, catches (most) of the fat for you for easy clean-up, and is quick and without peril.

    Of course, if you don’t like bacon, I would not stress about it (nor will I think the less of you). After all, that just means that there is more bacon for me.

  30. Athena, that is a concept I just don’t understand: leftover bacon.

    ;)

    Actually, my wife is the bacon lover but it has to be really, really crisp.

  31. Leftover bacon? Really? What on earth even is that???

    In my 63 years upon this planet, I have literally NEVER witnessed leftover bacon. My head is about to explode by the mere contemplation of the possibility.

    Leftover bacon. Just wow. What’ll these youngsters dream up next?

  32. I am a bacon moderate. I like bacon… conditionally. Southern-style BBQ pork backribs are a godsend. I love Korean BBQ pork. Bacon simply cannot stand on its own like those dishes.

    Bacon cannot be too crispy or too tender, it has to be just right.

    It adds to meals, and is a salty treat on its own, but can’t hold a meal together by itself. I can put it on burgers, or not; there is a difference in how the burger tastes and if I’m up for it, I’m game. Most fast food burgers are improved by its presence.

  33. In my opinion, there are five perfect foods in the world that should not be messed with. First, garlic. Second, salsa. Third through Fifth, bacon. Interestingly, garlic goes well with everything. But put bacon and salsa together, and it’s a waste of both. They…neutralize each other? Thanks for sharing your darkest secret…I thought you were going to tell us you murdered some people. Instead, this is much darker.

  34. I like bacon, but my doctor has forbidden it. What has reconciled me to its loss was learning that the French term for American-style bacon is

    lard.

  35. What is this “leftover bacon” you speak of?

    Personally, I’ve always felt a little sorry for pigs. I mean, how would you feel if nearly every single part of YOU was incredibly delicious?

    And finally, a quote from Winston Churchill (via Civilization VI, which I’ve been playing lately): “I am fond of pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down us. Pigs treat us as equals.”

  36. I’m middle of the road on this. It tastes good but I only really have it on restaurant dishes because it isn’t worth the trouble to make it myself. Like you say, too much grease, too much splatter. Sausage, on the other hand, yes. All the sausage, all the yes. Yum.

  37. If bacon is the only meat option for breakfast, it needs to be crispy but not burnt. But given a choice, I’d rather have sausage or corned beef hash.

    I’ll occasionally have Canadian bacon as part of the pizza-topping order, and even more rarely have bacon, BBQ sauce, and cheddar on a burger. The crispy-but-not-burnt is a problem here, since the other toppings can make even properly-cooked bacon go limp. Sugar-coated bacon is disgusting, but then I also can’t stand most ham glazes (which also tend to be sweet).

  38. I’d say I’m somewhere in the middle. Bacon is good, has it’s place – can’t make a turkey stuffing without at least a package of it for example. Dicing it into the pot before cooking chicken to make a soup too is great. Outside of that, well I’m not going to go out of my way for bacon. Forget all the “bacon”-flavoured other things though. Most of those taste like shards of salt – in other words, I’m not a fan of shatter-bacon, and that’s what the artificial bacon flavors remind me of. Camping is the classic place for a bacon and eggs breakfast.

  39. I don’t eat pork, so I completely agree. I don’t know why anyone would cook with pork fat when olive oil is right there, healthier, and delicious. My problem is I adore green chile and most places make it with pork.

    When it comes to sausage I’d rather have elk, moose, and the ever elusive, but delicious, mountain goat.

  40. Amen, Sister! Pork is gross in general, bacon most of all.

    I don’t trust anything that salty. Side note: salt is gross. I’m not eating anything that reminds me of sweat.

    I appreciate the courage it took to publicly announce this.

  41. About 10 years ago, all the bacon-flavored everything started; thereafter, it public bacon love became fashionable. I don’t recall anyone randomly waxing about bacon love before that point any more than, you know, ice cream or sushi love. It’s likely that the whole I-love-bacon-so-much-I’ll-wear-a-teeshirt-saying-so has been engineered by the pork industry.

    I’ll stand by to be banned!

  42. ::unsubscribe::

    (Not really, but, like, wow.)

    In any case, if you don’t like it, you don’t like it. More for the rest of us. I’m a big fan of Wright’s (motto: “Bacon the Wright Way”, haha) and Benton’s (motto: “Oh, you like salty bacon?” (okay, not really, but it should be)), myself. Benton’s when done really well is even better than Wright’s, but I find Wright’s more consistent, and sometimes Benton’s is too salty even for me, which is saying a lot.

    People that *like* bacon but share some of the other complaints: Try baking it in the oven, 375ºF 15-25m, depending. (Longer for Benton’s; shorter for thinner sliced bacon.) Use parchment paper for easier clean-up. Pour grease into an empty pasta-sauce jar. Wrap leftover bacon (when there is any, ha; but seriously it’s more common when you do a baking sheet with 10 slices and there’s only the two of you) in paper towels and then plastic wrap. Reheat in the oven at 170ºF for 10-ish minutes on your breakfast plate while you cook the rest of breakfast; this also leaves your breakfast plate nice and hot.

  43. Doesn’t like….. bacon?!?!?

    John, hang your head in shame, for you have failed in raising this child.

    Well, not really, but…ummm…

  44. I was raised Jewish so all the pork products I’ve avoided my entire life. I find it fascinating how much people fetishize bacon.

  45. And just for that, I’m going to post my favorite bacony recipe.

    Ingredients:
    Two Deep Dish Pie Crusts (if you are like me and are an ultra-lazy cheater). Otherwise, enough homemade pie crust for two deep dish pie pans.

    ½ cup butter

    1 and 1/2lb. fresh spinach, de-stemmed and dried

    1 cup or ½ pound crushed *BACON* (for the love of all that is good in the world, do not use bacon bits)

    1 and 1/2cup grated cheddar cheese

    1 and ½ cup grated pepper jack cheese

    6 large eggs

    ½ medium sized onion, diced

    ¼ cup fresh garlic, minced

    ¼ cup heavy whipping cream

    coarsely ground black pepper (about 10 to 12 turns should do the trick)

    Directions:

    Preheat oven to 350 degrees

    Once oven reaches proper temperature, bake pie crusts for 15 minutes or until slightly brown

    In the meantime, using a stand mixer, combine eggs, onions, garlic, spices, bacon bits, and one cup each of the cheddar and pepper jack cheese; combine and set the remaining cup aside for topping

    Melt butter and set aside to cool

    Fold in the chopped and dried spinach

    add melted butter to the egg/spinach/bacon mixture

    Divide mixture equally among pie shells (I love deep dish because I don’t have to worry about ugly quiche that rise beyond the edges of the pan while baking)

    Top filled pie shells with remaining pepper jack/cheddar cheese (I tend to add more than I recommend above because I love toasted cheese)

    Bake, uncovered, for 30-45 minutes at 350 degrees or until surface is golden brown and toothpick comes out clean.

    Notes:

    1. I almost never follow a recipe when I make this because I’ve been making it for so long and end up doing what I want.
    2. I hereby relinquish all legal and moral responsibility for the heart attack that may follow.
    3. Shame on all bacon haters everywhere.

  46. Some people don’t like bacon, and that’s OK. It’s OK to be wrong.

    I keed, I keed. I like the flavor of bacon, and I disagree that it doesn’t work well within other foods, but I also tended to eschew bacon for a long time because of the mess. Until, that is, I learned how best to prepare it: bake it in the oven. Stays flat, no spatter, nice and tender, and you can make a lot more on a baking sheet at once. As for the grease, yeah, it can add up, but I keep a small container in the fridge. Whenever I need some fat for frying eggs, toasting cheese sandwiches, popping popcorn, etc., I grab a spoonful of solid bacon grease. Adds a nice smoky note, and I feel less wasteful. It’s not often that it adds up enough to throw away, but if I need to do that, I freeze it in a foil-lined bowl and toss it in just before I take the garbage out. Regarding leftover bacon: first, what? Second, I wrap it in foil, and throw it in the toaster oven to reheat it. Takes no time at all, but you need to have a toaster oven which, why would you not?

  47. This is the first time that I’ve been shocked by inadvertent confusion between Scalzi pere and fille since the latter joined as a regular commentator. Athena is of course a delightful young woman who is entitled to her own tastes, but her father has a hard-earned and long-standing reputation as a human garbage disposal.

  48. “I am the greatest thing of all time, says bacon.”

    As researchers linked bacon to a number of health problems including heart disease, bacon announced that it did not give a fuck.

    Other foods cleared a respectful path as bacon slid out of the fridge to deliver its confident statement.

    Bacon said: “Out of my way bitches, bacon’s coming through.

    “You think you can replace bacon with chicken, fish or lentils. You cannot. You think a longer, healthier life without bacon is worth living. It is not.

    “I am bacon. Smell bacon. Nothing else in the universe smells like that, your firstborn child’s head smells like shit by comparison. I’m incredible and I don’t even have to try.

    “You go ahead and talk your talk, but you know, and I know, what’s going in the frying pan tomorrow. Here’s a clue – it’s not chicken.

    “Bacon has spoken. You may go now.”

  49. I’m usually kind of neutral on bacon, except every now and then I HAVE TO have a BLT. Go figure. Also, it’s good crumbled in potato salad.

  50. So many people cleverly doing the “ha ha leftover bacon say WHAT?” here, but I really honestly don’t get the point of it “not keeping well.” It’s a cured meat. It’s essentially jerky. Toss it in a Ziploc or wrap it in foil and leave it on the counter. Toss it in a Ziploc and toss in the fridge. It might eventually mold, but it won’t actually “go bad” the way other meats do. Almost no other food in your house is likely to keep as a leftover as easily as bacon. Sure, heat it in the microwave. Or leave it at room temp in the first place. Or, as someone noted above, put the foil-wrapped bacon in a toaster oven or equivalent for a few minutes to take the chill off if you fridged it. I don’t argue with your not liking it, or finding lard squicky even if our foremothers swore by the stuff, but I just can’t buy the argument that it doesn’t keep well…

  51. Usually when I cook bacon it is part of a meal, and not a whole object itself. I can rarely get through more than one whole slice of bacon because it’s just a whole lot of flavor (and salt).

    But a BLT, ah, a good BLT is a thing of dreams. And it can be so hard to find. Pale, sad tomato. Too much lettuce (or barely half a leaf). Too much mayo (yes, there’s such a thing). Sad soggy bacon. Rock hard bacon you can’t bit through.
    Bread so thin it disintegrates, or so toasted the roof of your mouth is shredded. The one place in Cambridge MA that only served a BLT on challah, which while delicious, resulted in a sandwich one needed to unhinge one’s jaw to eat, and I am not a ball python.

    And then I had the Platonic ideal of a BLT. The bread was thick enough to support the juice from the tomato, but only lightly toasted so as not to shred your mouth. The mayo was balanced; present but not gloppy, acting both as glue and lubricant. The lettuce was generous but not over-abundant bibb lettuce (not romaine, who knew?). The tomato was thickly sliced, juicy and perfectly ripe. And the bacon was the perfect balance of chewy and crispy; you could bite cleanly all the way through the sandwich.

  52. I know how you feel.

    I love Five Guys burgers. I discovered extra bacon is free, but does not taste any different. Then I ordered with zero bacon and it STILL tasted the same. My favorite burger toppings covered the taste of bacon. Then I discovered no bacon does not effect the taste of most foods I used to eat bacon in.

    I was also surprised when I discovered most restaurants cook bacon in the oven.

    This was awesome because I hate cooking meat in a skillet.

    I was then at a fancy holiday party and they made salami chips by cooking hard salami in the oven.

    Then I made CJ, my wife, pepperoni chips by cooking them in the oven.

    Crisping cured meats in the oven is awesome. Plus meat chips seem really popular with friends on low carb diets.

    Even meats that need a crisp outside can be finished in an oven, or sometimes a microwave.

    Due to the pandemic we have been switching to more bread and cheese instead of meats.

    It is amazing what variety of breads, and cheeses, can make a good grilled cheese sandwich.

    Our current recipe uses the butter, and mayonnaise, method.

    Team Mayo
    (https://www.thekitchn.com/should-you-fry-your-grilled-ch-144259)

    Team Butter
    (https://skillet.lifehacker.com/dont-cook-your-grilled-cheese-in-mayonnaise-1843522200/amp)

    Team Outside Mayo, Inside Butter
    (https://www.today.com/today/amp/tdna105748)

    Team Both
    (https://www.southernkitchen.com/articles/eat/can-you-really-make-a-better-grilled-cheese-with-mayonnaise 2)

  53. My Chinese cafe owner was upset that the health board would not let him serve juicy half raw sausages like people have at home—they had to be served with the juice cooked out. I guess some people have only known bacon dried up the same way. Yuck.

    With all due respect to the health board—make my bacon juicy, dripping with fat, greasing my chin, sending the vegetarians running in horror.

    I like to save planet by recycling the bacon fat for frying my eggs. Planet saving is good.

  54. Good for you for being able to say why you don’t like it. I won’t force it on you if I ever have to make your family a dish. ;) Me, I love it in all its forms. :)

  55. Athena, what happens when you tape bacon to the cat? If you have a dog, that could get interesting.

    I cook bacon in the microwave. Place the bacon between two layers of paper towels. No splatter, no danger and you can get it nice and crispy.

  56. Mostly on Team Athena. In a world with too little calories to sustain life or too little animal protein to get sufficient vitamins, bacon might be justified (it keeps pretty well w/o refrigeration.) Neither seems to be a problem, so bacon is just extra fat and salt in a diet that has too much of both already.

    As flavor it is, like all pork, just fat and in some cases smoke. I get all the smoke I want from chipotles, which have no fat but plenty of flavor. In other words, I’ll take a small serving to be polite but otherwise go with more nutritious and interesting foods.

  57. At an arts festival I once sampled something called a Fat Drunk Brownie. A thick fudge brownie, topped with bacon and covered with a bourbon glaze. It was actually quite good.

    Bacon: it’s everywhere!

  58. Bacon lover here, but I’m confused.

    What’s this “leftover bacon” of which you speak? ;-)

  59. Bacon grease is pure gold. When I need comfort food, I slice potatoes and onions, dump it into hot bacon grease, let it crisp for 10 minutes, then flip ’em over, cover the pan, and turn the heat to medium-low until the potatoes are tender. Pepper and salt somewhere in the process. Yum – crispy, mushy, oniony, bacony bliss!

  60. Two points:

    1.) W/R/T to the post suggesting that bacon fat (sounds marginally less disgusting than bacon grease) is the best substance with which to make roasted potatoes: Wrong. Duck fat. Or, better yet, goose fat. Xmas goose is also much less boring than Xmas turkey. It’s _all_ dark meat.

    2.) Want something a bit salty, crispy, and even better (and better for you) than bacon? Separate the skin next time you’re searing a salmon filet and fry it separately with the seasonings of your choice. Or leave it on, sear filet skin side down until just barely no longer translucent, then flip for all of 15 seconds.

  61. Re: bacon, I’m kind of tired of it. Family loves it, I like it, but it’s a hassle to deal with. So I get from where the Athena comes. I buy it seldom and (like others) there are never leftovers.

    Also, yay for call-back to Fluffy/Ghlaghghee. Gone but never forgotten.

  62. Anyone can like anything they want, or not…and I don’t really believe that we have an actual choice in most cases. So no problem not liking bacon…but, my 9yo daughter told me not too long ago that she likes bacon more than I do, so I don’t have the issue that your dad does. :-)

    That said, I don’t cook bacon myself, although less because I’m worried about getting splattered than the annoying clean-up afterward. Bacon is literally what restaurants are for, for me.

    And the fact that it doesn’t keep isn’t a good reason not to like it (all your other reasons are fine though). I mean, unless you also don’t like french fries. Those keep a lot worse than bacon does. (And frankly, bacon is so good that I’ve eaten and loved cold leftover bacon before.) I also don’t attempt to cook french fries.

  63. Have you tried non-pork based bacon?

    A few years back, I travelled for work to Malaysia, and stayed in a large hotel. They had a breakfast buffet – with about 106 different dishes (no exaggeration) – both hot and cold dishes on this buffet.

    They did not serve “Pork” based bacon in any of them – due mainly to being a Muslim country, but had both beef bacon and turkey bacon – in various dishes – on the buffet. I tried both types – well I had to didn’t I – and both were fine and tasted bacon’ish but not quite the same as pork bacon.

  64. Same here. Not a huge fan of any pig meat. Unless it’s on a pizza. Anything goes on a pizza.

    Lamb is the best! We eat a lot more lamb here in Australia than I think you do in the US.
    Kangaroo is good. Crocodile and Emu are ok.

  65. Chris M: US style bacon is good but the kind of bacon they have in the UK and Ireland is far better.

    Balderdash. UK bacon is merely uncooked pig. Fight me.

  66. I’m with you, Athena. Never much cared for bacon. I mean, if it’s on a burger, I generally won’t remove it, and if it’s served to me I’ll generally eat it, but I’ll never seek it out, and I would not care one iota if it disappeared from the face of the earth forever.

  67. Ok so:

    1) Don’t fry bacon in a pan but in the oven, 15-20 minutes at 300 degrees while you prepare the rest of the breakfast. No splatter and perfect bacon every time. Take out of oven, put on paper towels to absorb excess grease. And always hide a couple extra strips for yourself, you’ve earned it for cooking breakfast!

    2) What to do with leftover bacon? The same thing you with a four-sided triangle. Nothing because those things don’t exist.

    3) There’s a world of difference between typical supermarket bacon and really good, thick-cut, organic bacon. Always get top-shelf bacon.

    4) Toasted sourdough bread + peanut butter + bacon + banana slices = food of the gods

  68. I pretty much stopped eating bacon after I improved my diet following an illness and don’t miss it. I get where you’re coming from.

    I do miss occasional photos of bacon cat, but something tells me that that is a thing that Smudge up with which would not put.

  69. Bacon should only ever be served by itself, in it’s “natural” state. Not on a sandwich, or a hamburger, or a hot dog, or anything else. Anything with bacon added is automatically overpowered by the bacon. It’s an entree, NOT an additive.

  70. “I have been splattered many a time by the grease, and it scares me to cook it. Secondly, it doesn’t keep well! If you have leftover bacon, what are you supposed to do with it? Heat it back up the next day in the microwave? No way. Also, another point about the grease, there’s so much of it and you can’t pour it down the drain or into the trash so you just have to pour it in a cup and let it solidify? Bizarre.”

    So. If it splatters, you’re cooking it on too high heat. Turn the burner down, or you can cook it in the oven. Bacon grease is magic for many things requiring some oil, like fried chicken or cornbread, or grilled cheese. I keep it in my refrigerator all the time. Mix it with the peanut oil or butter or whatever. And finally . . . .

    . . . What is this “leftover bacon” of which you speak? I’ve never heard those two words used together. I think it might even be bad grammar.

  71. I use bacon (already fried) in spaghetti sauce. Extremely flavorful and doesn’t take a lot. I also save bacon grease and fry other things in it (such as the mushrooms that also go in the spaghetti sauce). If you’re making toasted cheese sandwiches, bacon grease rather than butter on the bread is excellent, and apart from the added salt, no worse for you than butter. (Not that toasted cheese sammies are ever going to be health food anyway.)

  72. I do love bacon. I can’t stand that fake smoky flavour that is sometimes added to bacon or considered bacon flavour. That is gross.

    My partner is vegan and regularly reminds we that pigs are one of the smartest animals out there. Up with dogs and dolphins so they likely appreciate your lack of interest in a BLT.

  73. I’m a bacon fan. I even like bacon milkshakes.

    Bacon flavored chips, however, are a no. Every few years I get tempted by pictures of beautiful bacon on a bag of chips. Then I taste it and I’m immune for years.

  74. I am also not a bacon person. By far the worst thing to come from a pig that is “normal” pig eatings. So be strong and hold to your bacon hating!

  75. I’m totally with you on not liking most pig products. Love ham, like bacon ok, and the rest…. no thanks.

    I’m curious if you’ve tried turkey bacon, and if so, what your thoughts were on it. Personally, I’m a fan of chicken or turkey sausage over the regular stuff, so I wonder if turkey bacon might be the same with you.

    (Also, chicken breast is pointless, dark meat is best.)

  76. I bake my bacon on the gas bbq. Foil lined cookie sheets with a rack. Low temp and slow. Keeps the smell outside. Do two pounds at a time, wrap and keep in refrigerator for later use. Not to be confused with “leftover bacon” which we all know does not exist.

    My local bistro has recently featured a bacon, pickled red onion and fresh pear pizza. Out of this world.

    BLT, the king of sandwiches. Only when the local tomatoes are at their peak, on sliced sourdough bread.

    My wife, unfortunately, falls mostly into the Athena camp, although she likes an occasional BLT and raves about the fresh pear pizza. More for me

  77. I’m not a fan of bacon as a breakfast meat. It does make a wonderful ingredient in many things. It is my second favorite pizza meat after pepperoni; adds a nice flavor to a cheeseburger; and crumbled into mashed potatoes it tastes even better than gravy. goes well in a red-sauce too.

  78. Absolutely love real bacon, but our household is on a necessary healthy-ish (aka less sodium) kick, so it isn’t cooked as much. I always found, and I’m sure people will smite me and call me a heretic, but I found it easier and safer to nuke it in the microwave whenever I go on a morning bacon kick.

  79. I like bacon as a food, let’s say with potatoes and cauliflower. I dislike it when it’s an added flavour (bacon chips?) or added to hamburgers, sandwiches and so on. Why destroy perfectly fine bacon and perfectly fine burgers/sandwiches by putting them together?

    It’s quite easy to fry, you put it in a cold pan, put on heat, fry until done. (Wear an apron and gloves.) The leftover fat you use to fry the potatoes, of course. It doesn’t taste as good if you save it for later. I’m against food waste, but saving bacon fat is over my limit.

    I hate bacon for breakfast, though.

  80. Plus, pork–especially bacon–leaves that weird rubbery after-film in the mouth. Like an industrial residue.

    I haven’t touched bacon in ten years, so I may not be remembering correct facts, but I have no intention of retesting. Bleeeech!

  81. I like bacon. I hate it cooked in maple syrup or other sugars – desserts should remain desserts. But I don’t crave bacon. I crave pork shoulder, especially country style ribs and any roasts made from that end of the pig. I love most sausages made from pork – but could live without the ham. The ham is just “there”. I buy most of my pork or pork products from local farmers where they let their pigs live good healthy piggy outdoor lives.

  82. Leftover bacon–that isn’t even a real thing.
    I don’t like chicken because it has no flavor.
    Pigs are the nicest and smartest and most-pet-like animals we eat. I feel guilty about that. But pork (including bacon but not the salty ham, yuck) is so delicious it keeps me from going vegetarian. Double guilt. I am truly a food-driven person.

  83. Science may be on your side: an article in PLOSOne says people with multiple active copies of the gene OR7D4 are hypersensitve to the smell of meat containing androstenone, a pheromone present in both pigs and humans.

    K Lunde, et al., “Genetic Variation of an Odorant Receptor OR7D4 and Sensory Perception of Cooked Meat Containing Androstenone”, PLOSOne 2012-May-02.

    https://journals.plos.org/plosone/article?id=10.1371/journal.pone.0035259
    https://doi.org/10.1371/journal.pone.0035259

  84. So, your father can have your share too.

    And there must be something he can’t stand that you like … everyone will be happy!

  85. I appreciate your courage in coming out like that, but I have some counter points to your arguments. So even if you don’t like bacon, hear me out:
    -Cooking bacon: in the oven, in a pan over a grill. It’s magical. No splatter, the grease goes into the bottom of the pan, if you’ve covered the pan with parchment paper, let it solidify and dump it in the city compost bin. My city has a methane plant and any organic matter works. I’d say I’m lucky this way, but:
    -Leftover grease: eggs. Eggs cooked in bacon grease is heaven. Also most recipes that require some sort of fat can use some bacon fat. Olive oil? swap one third with bacon fat. Butter? Half can be replaced with bacon fat. Except for pastries of course, then 100% butter.
    -Leftover bacon: crumble it and put it in the freezer. Then any Caesar salad or carbonara or even alfredo sauce can use some frozen bacon bits.
    I’m sure your dad will love some oven cooked bacon.

  86. One must understand that, existentially, there is no such thing as “leftover bacon,” as there is never enough bacon in the first place.

    This entire blog post is indeed a sad, sad admission. I think an intervention might be in order.

  87. I really prefer (and have learned to make) the pinwheel-like chashu for ramen because I find blocks of fat gross. When you cut-off most of the fat and roll the belly up you get bits of fat with the meat.

    (Admittedly, I don’t mind fatty pieces of roast duck bad if I eat such with about twice their volume of noodles in each bite, so maybe some can like fatty block chashu with enough noodles.)

  88. My, there are a lot of bacon chauvinists out there.

    Bacon is tasty with fried eggs. That being said, when I ordered breakfast in a restaurant (remember restaurants?) I would order ham, not bacon.

    I have recently cooked bacon at home due to not having restaurant breakfasts (well, even Ikea breakfasts) since mid March.

    I don’t think bacon “improves everything”, as the chauvinists claim. On a hamburger? Nope. On a pizza? Nope. On a donut? Nope.

    Bacon bits? Oh, do I want red-coloured bits of salt and MSG? Nope.

    The local Polish deli sells home-made ham/bacon. It’s much less greasy and salty than the commercial bacon I’ve purchased (Schneider’s, for Ontario residents).

    Post-pandemic, there will once again be ZERO reason to have bacon in the fridge.

  89. I expect that you’re just trolling, because there is no concept such as “leftover bacon”. It doesn’t have to be cooked that way, the grease will be incredibly useful, and your sugar consumption leads me to ask if you’ve checked with a doctor about diabetes. Left… over… bacon… fascinating. What?

    You can put bacon in the microwave, but it’s convenient to fry that first, put diced potatoes in the fat, add some onions a bit later, garlic last, and maybe fry a few eggs or scramble them after that. If you put maple syrup on the results, I’m going to consider you as being like Trump having ketchup on well-done steak. Go ahead, but I don’t want to watch.

  90. I stopped eating meat about 30 years ago, but the “BACON” meme promotions of the last decade have not tempted me to start again. Sure, it’s crunchy salty greasy umami*, and bacon grease improves many things more than the actual bacon does, but it’s not that exciting, and fried mushrooms or that Korean/Japanese seasoned roasted nori seaweed are just as good. It’s certainly not chocolate or coffee or something seriously yummy.

    Chicken’s better, at least if you get the kind that actually tastes like chicken rather than like dried up defatted skinless white meat. Chinese pork belly’s pretty tasty also. Back when I did eat meat, I found sausage to be usually more interesting than bacon (though sausage is a wide spectrum, and hot dogs and baloney are probably the most boring sausages available in America.) The regionally-consumed breakfast meat that wasn’t worth the bother? Taylor pork roll. But scrapple’s good.

    Among fake bacon/sausage products? The ones that try to be bacon-like are pretty boring. The fake bacon bits made for salad decoration are crunchy instead of chewy, and I always preferred them to putting actual bacon in a salad. Some of the sausages are pretty good.

    * Also, it’s normally missing the caffeine and sugar food groups, though there’s maple-flavored bacon, and I guess you could make red-eye gravy with it.