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Today In “My Life Is Fun Sometimes”

Some fellow on Twitter decided to impugn my manhood by comparing me (negatively) to John McClane, the hero of Die Hard. So, as one does, I checked in with Steven deSouza, the screenwriter of Die Hard, for his thoughts on the matter.

The results were, shall we say, satisfying.

This is now canonical. I am the Hans Gruber of burritos.

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Athena Scalzi

The Four Movies That Have Made Me Ugly Cry, Part 3: Crazy Rich Asians

I didn’t think this movie would make me cry. I knew the first two on my list, The Fault in Our Stars and Coco, would make me cry, but I never expected this charming romantic comedy to be on this list.

I actually didn’t see this one in theaters, though I remember I had thought it looked pretty good. I ended up seeing Crazy Rich Asians because Miami University was showing it for free one Friday a few months after it came out, and my friends invited me along.

Also, this is your OFFICIAL SPOILER WARNING!

In my opinion, pretty much the entirety of Crazy Rich Asians is not cry-worthy. Like, there is practically nothing in this movie that would make one cry. That being said, it definitely does have a certain relatability to it, and targets some very specific “feels” within oneself throughout it.

That theme of, “you’ll never be good enough” and “you’re not one of us” really hits different. I think that feeling of “you don’t belong” is something that everyone has experienced at some point. That desire to fit in and not be looked down on is universal. So chances are you can relate to Rachel, even if the reasons you felt that way are different than hers.

To see her go through these trials and tribulations of trying to be accepted by her beloved’s family is disheartening. She’s not even like, trying to impress them or be something she’s not, she’s just trying to be liked for who she genuinely is as a nice and decent person, but it means nothing to them because she isn’t somebody. She’s not enough for Nick in the eyes of his family.

But it’s not just his family, it’s his friends, too (minus the nice ones that pick them up from the airport and get married). Like that scene where the girls leave the dead fish in Rachel’s bed with a message in lipstick on the windows! That’s some shit that would make any girl cringe and think of a time where mean girls did something similar at summer camp when they were like, twelve. Again, it’s just something relatable that makes you feel for the character. But, like I said, nothing really cry-worthy.

I’d say the only thing that’s like, possibly misty-eyed worthy is the wedding scene when Nick is standing by the altar and mouthing to Rachel that he loves her. Ugh, so sweet and cute. It’s gross how adorable it is. And what a beautiful wedding oh my gosh.

Of course, then it all comes crashing down after that, but still not tear-inducing!

So there I am, sitting with my friends, having a fine time, not crying at all, not a single tear in sight. Nick is about to re-propose to Rachel on the plane, which is cute and all and like, totally no big deal. But then he opens the box, and it’s his mother’s ring, and I lose my shit.

I literally double over in my seat and put my face into my hands because I had burst into tears. Like just started sobbing out of nowhere. My friends all looked at me with genuine concern and asked what happened, and if I was okay. All I could say was, “IT’S THE MOM’S RIIIIIING” and continue crying. Even when I think about it, I get all choked up.

I thought Nick was just going to re-propose with the same ring as before, and he would be like, “who cares what my family thinks?!” and it would just be the same scene, but on a plane, which I didn’t really get why they would do that? Or why Rachel would say yes the second time around? But then that reveal of that beautiful emerald ring, it killed me. Literally destroyed me. The ultimate sign of acceptance. She knew what that ring meant. It meant she was enough.

Isn’t that all anyone wants to be?

Have you seen this amazing movie? Did you love it? Wasn’t it the cutest?! Let me know your thoughts in the comments, and as always, have a great day!

-AMS

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