The Crimson Smudge
Posted on February 4, 2021 Posted by John Scalzi 10 Comments
It’s America’s most adorable crime fighter! If by “fighting crime” one means “trying to sneak bacon from the humans.” Any other sort of crime fighting, he’s pretty much a loss at. Fortunately, he’s cute. Which is enough.
Awww — he’s an adorable crimefighter!
And he’s protecting you from eating too much bacon. You should thank him by giving him some…..
He’s so innocently adorable when he wants something.
At least your Smudge stays on the floor when he wants bacon. The Smudgely in our house leaps up to the shoulders of whoever is eating bacon and tries to steal bites as the bacon is en route to the human’s mouth.
Not entirely coincidentally, the Smudgely in our house is usually locked up in a different part of the house during meal preparation and consumption.
What you are seeing there is The Crimson Smudge’s superpower: MIND CONTROL.
He is beaming Mind Control Thoughts directly into your cerebral cortex:
“I want to give Smudge the bacon.
Smudge NEEDS the bacon.
I will feel so wonderful if I give Smudge the bacon.
Scalzi, cats, and bacon. Some combinations never get old.
Does the crimson smudge leave an adorable red shadow behind when stealth is used?
Cats need much less salt than humans do. Smudge should have very very very little bacon.
The Crimson Smudge should be added to The Name of My Next Band.
The Crimson Smudge, aka The Crimson Permanent Assurance?
I thought he kills rodents, too. That’s crime fighting of a sort (though the rodents might not agree).