Krissy, Femme Fatale
Posted on February 27, 2021 Posted by John Scalzi 14 Comments
Of course she’s going to ask you to do crimes! And you’re going to. Because you just can’t help yourself. She promises to write when you’re doing time in the stony lonesome, but you know better. And the hell of it is, you’d do it again in a heartbeat. You’re a sucker for a femme fatale.
(Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Krissy is neither explicitly nor by implication going to ask you to do crimes. Please do no crimes, but be aware that any crimes you decide to do, will be under your initiative. All members of the Scalzi family hereby renounces all form of crimes in any way, now and in the future, until the heat death of the universe. Kids, stay in school. And etc.)
In truth, Krissy handles her own evil deeds.
She wouldn’t have to say anything, merely lift an eyebrow, and you would take your gat and do whatever she wanted you to do.
She would likely punk slap you if you even thought of doing something wrong.
May you both have blessed and wonderful lives, and you, get back to writing, so we don’t have to start talking smack about you as if you were George R.R. Martin
Hugs and kisses,
Welp. I’m off to do crimes.
Crimes like cleaning the kitchen with my wife after dinner.
And finishing a woodworking project.
That’s what Fred MacMurray and Kirk Douglas said! I’ll bake you a cake with a file in it.
Sweetheart – Just slip me a note & it’s done.
I can totally see her inspiring Firefly exploits. GOOD crime.
Ummm—-I’ve a remedy, titled The Maltese Falcon. Really, I’m just here to help. 😈
Reminds me of this:
When you say “all members of the Scalzi family”, I assume you just mean the humans? Because cats view crime as a challenge, and prefer tricking those who possess opposable thumbs into taking the risks for them.
Pay no attention to the cases of tuna in foil that might or might not have been delivered directly to the garage that day you thought you heard an Amazon truck.
Your pictures of Krissy always give me a sense that you two have a great rapport.
Before committing any crime, you should of course consult a professional criminal licensed to practice in your jurisdiction. Then don’t do it.
The events you are about to read are true. Only the names have been changed to protect the guilty. That’s guilty, guilty, GUILTY!
Disclaimer: On advice of counsel, locations, dates, ethnicity, and all other identifying characteristics have been changed too, so that the GUILTY! cannot be identified by the events. Really: Even with a different name, a reader could identify the perpetrator concerning an assassination at Ford’s Theatre in 1865.) So it’s all fiction. Which, given the host’s present business, makes sense.
Ego roll with a minus 8 modifier.