See that fucking ridiculous guitar above? The one with six necks? Yeah, I just bought that shit.
(My Fictional Interlocutor crashes in from the underbrush)
You did what now?
I bought it! I read in Guitar World that it was up for auction and I put in a bid and I won.
Were you deeply stoned at the time?
You know I don’t do that stuff.
I don’t know, maybe you started.
I swear I was not in a pharmaceutically altered state of mind when I bid on it.
One, because it’s ridiculous.
Which is awesome. Two, I have plans to build out a music room in the basement — it’s already where the majority of my musical instruments are — and I thought this would make a very fine centerpiece for it.
So you didn’t buy it to play it.
Oh, no, I’m definitely gonna play it.
It seems ergonomically dubious at best.
Well, yes. When I say I’m going to play it, I don’t mean it’s going to be my everyday guitar. It is meant mostly to be art. Even the guy who built it says it’s a “conversation piece.” But it’s a playable guitar — all the pickups and electric bits work — so I’m going to keep it tuned (or at least, tunable) and ready to be fiddled with whenever I or someone else has a mind to.
I’m not 100% believing it’s playable.
Here’s a video of someone playing it:
That’s probably CGI.
Also, you don’t play that well.
True enough! But I guess I could practice.
How much did this folly cost you?
Actually less than I expected. When I bid on it, I put in the upper amount I was willing to pay, and I assumed the price would be run up — actually, if I’m being honest, I thought someone would outbid me. But no one did, so I didn’t reach my max bid. However it’s in the UK and will need to be crated and shipped here to Ohio, so what I didn’t pay for the guitar itself, I’ll probably pay in having it brought over.
Tell me you didn’t spring this on Krissy.
I did not. Krissy and I always inform each other of when we wish to make a substantial expenditure, even (especially) if it is, in fact, entirely ridiculous. Also, of course, if Krissy was all, “please don’t,” then I wouldn’t have. But this was within our budget at the moment, and Krissy gets the whole “I’m buying art for a room” thing I’m doing. As distinctive original art goes, this was a reasonable expense. As a guitar, it was slightly pricey but not ill-advisedly so. As both? A bargain! Also I had a hard-out price I wouldn’t have gone above. This is awesome but it’s also silly, and there’s a limit on how much I’m willing to spend on silly.
So when do we get to see you with this thing?
I don’t know! I’m talking to a shipping company today and we’ll figure out how long it will take to get here. I’m not exactly expecting an overnight delivery. I expect it will be several weeks. Please be patient.
Will you post a video of you playing it?
Plan to buy any more musical instruments any time soon?
Oh, probably not.