Signs of the Season
Posted on September 16, 2021 Posted by John Scalzi 31 Comments
The annual reappearance of these particular cereals has arrived. Krissy saw these in a three-pack and assumed I would want them because I eat like a sugar-amped child, and she is not wrong! I do want them. But as it happens when I was an actual sugar-amped child, I don’t think I ever partook in any of these; they just never showed up in my house, in part because my mom was more of a granola-and-Grape-Nuts sort of person. I guess I’m making up for lost time now. Honestly, it’s a miracle I’m still alive.
— JS
Also, no, I will not be making a burrito out of any or all of them, honestly, I have a life outside burritos, y’all.
I was old school sugar cereal. Sugar Smacks and Frosted Flakes. I don’t think Count Chocula showed up until I was a teenager.
My husband–despite the fact that his mother was otherwise a foodie–did grow up with them–and weirdly, in his house it was gender separated: He had the Boo-Berry and his sister had the Franken-Berry (I think because it was blue vs. pink?). Chocula would have been the more masculine choice, but he doesn’t like chocolate, so…
Kids are as weird as the foods they eat. As are adults.
Please stay alive.
I mean, that’s the plan, for now.
When we used to visit my maternal grandmother, she would but the ‘selection packs’ that contained 8 individual boxes of assorted cereals. Frosties were the prize (because most overtly sugary: Cocoa Pops came in second), so getting up first on the first morning of the visit was a big contest – not to mention that meant you could get ‘top of the milk’ from the foil-top, non-homogenised, doorstep-delivered pint milk bottles.
Thanks for the memory :)
My roommate from business school’s first job after graduation was a brand manager for “the Monster Group” of cereals at General Mills. He has long since gone on to bigger, but probably not better, things.
I remember these every year as a teenager. There also used to be a werewolf with some other flavor that I forget. I almost always buy a box of count chocula for old times sake and it almost always goes to waster as I don’t eat it all. Last year I bought frankenberry for my 4 year old great niece who observed that it was good but why did they take Pebbles off the box?
But have you seen the new varieties of Cinnamon Toast Crunch???? (tried to add a picture but could not)
Dulce de Leche CTC
CTC Churros
CTC Chocolate Churros
Chocolate CTC
French Toast CTC
I don’t even EAT cereal anymore and I am dying here!
Until the bring back Yummy Mummy and Fruit Brute, I will not partake. Equal representation for Werewolves and Mummies!
FYI there’s a “Monster Mash” cereal out there for the 50th anniversary of these cereals, including (as Bill requested) Fruit Brute and Yummy Mummy.
I decided years and years ago that Count Chocula was the closest I was going to get to an IRL version of Calvin’s chocolate frosted sugar bombs. Given how Calvin-obsessed my son has become over the last year, maybe it’s time I introduced him to seasonal cereal.
Following up… according to this review it’s not actually very good: http://www.cerealously.net/monster-mash-cereal-review/
Never had these growing up my folks liked Cheerios and Frosted Flakes. I think on occasion I had captain crunch. Now I eat yogurt and fiber cereals. Anyway they would make an interesting Halloween themed burrito maybe someone will be inspired.
I don’t think one of those those boxes are gonna fit in the treadmill cubby…guess you’ll have to portion.
Musician Jason Isbell just tweeted about one of the perks of being an adult: “I’ll be damned if I worked this hard to get to the age where I can buy and eat entire bags of candy and not take advantage of it”
The “sign of the season” here is the return of Mallomars to the supermarket shelves.
When I was a kid what cereal did I eat?
1. Cheerios (still do! At least I ate the Trader Joe’s version)
2. Rice Krispies (and yes I listened for the “SNap! Crackle! and Pop!)
3. Kellogg’s Sugar Frosted Flakes (they’re GRRRRR-ATE!)
@Penny Ramirez – yes! I just pointed out the Chocolate Churros to my wife the other day. I mean, WTF? I have never eaten chocolate cereal of any kind and I’m not about to start now at this advanced age, but those churros are a little bit tempting.
This too shall pass.
I haven’t eaten it for many years but the best breakfast cereal ever is Lucky Charms…. drowning in Half-n-half! 😋
Too early for flapjacks?
I can’t believe they’re on their 50th anniversary. I remember when they first showed up on the scene. And my parents refused to buy them – like any other sugar cereal.
@Bill – So Fruit Brute is a real thing! I have never seen it outside of Pulp Fiction where Eric Stoltz’s character Lance is eating it (on a TV tray!) when Vincent Vega calls to tell him he’s bringing the ODing Mia Wallace.
Tarantino created his own brand of cigarettes (Red Apple) and fast food (Big Kahuna Burgers) so I assumed Fruit Brute was his. Thanks for straightening that out.
My wife was the exact opposite. She had all sorts of crap growing up and now eats very healthily (unlike me) and loves it.
I remember all of these quite well. Count Chocula was a favorite of mine!
My parents refused to buy pre-sweetened cereal too. But at least we were allowed to put our own brown sugar on, the same sugar we used five days a week for oats.
The store cereal was for weekends when our parents slept in. I would suffer through the farm report waiting for the start of Saturday morning cartoons. With their cereal ads, naturally.
Back when oil was cheaper and so was plastic, it was the non-sugar cereals that had a limited run of things like plastic sports figures, Eskimos and Robin’s merry men. I kept hoping for dinosaurs, but no such luck.
ok – no burrito, (sad trombone) Cereal lends itself (more?) to be made into some unholy offspring of churros and waffles anyway- googling….yup it’s a thing.
you’re welcome
My mother was a former hippie and wouldn’t feed me anything more exciting than Rice Krispies or Cheerios. I lived for visits to my aunt’s house, where she had every variety of sugar (although not the seasonal cereals). I am tempted to now see if any of my old sugary friends are gluten-free, so I can maybe have a bowl or two with non-dairy milk. The old stomach isn’t what it used to be.
Franken Berry doesn’t cause pink poop………. anymore.
https://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/franken-berry-the-beloved-halloween-cereal-was-once-medically-found-to-cause-pink-poop-7114570/
I am skeptical of your No Burritos comment, and I think evidence is lacking. Please post pictures of the burritos you would not be making so we can be certain you are not making them.
Lord, how I love Boo Berry cereal. It is still one of my favorite sugar bombs despite hating most otherwise blueberry flavored foods. Been a long time since I’ve had a box of that in the house…
I commend to your attention a webcomic called “Breakfast of the Gods”. It stars every classic cereal mascot from the 50s, 60s, 70s, and beyond in a good-vs-evil battle. The forces of good are led by Cap’n Crunch. Evil by Count Chocula.
Sadly, it is currently offline, but available through the Wayback Machine: https://web.archive.org/web/20130302012933/http://breakfastofthegods.com/
It also has a tvtropes page: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Webcomic/BreakfastOfTheGods
I’m just kinda surprised that this whole thread occurred without a mention of Quisp and/or Quake.