Questionable Foodstuff Review: Cheetos Bag Of Bones Snacks

This is the first time I’ve ever seen these things, although a quick visit to Google suggests they arrive seasonally and have done for the last couple of years. In this particular case, despite the Cheetos name, there is no cheese flavor; instead the vaguely buttery extruded corn in vaguely skeletal shapes is dusted with cinnamon and sugar. It would remind you of a churro if your only contact with churros was the churro cereal that’s now available. These things are terrible, and also, I can’t stop eating them, which makes them an almost perfect exemplar of “junk food.” Would probably not buy again, but if I did I would consume the whole bag by myself in about five minutes flat. You have been warned.

— JS

27 Comments on “Questionable Foodstuff Review: Cheetos Bag Of Bones Snacks”

  1. I’ve not seen the cinnamon version, but would avoid. In my experience, cheeto style puffs with any sort of sweet coating don’t work well. What we see in my neck of the woods is usually white cheddar version, which makes sense since it keeps the pieces white like a skeleton. They are okay for a change, but nobody misses them when they’re gone. White cheddar is too weak of a flavor compared to the intensity of regular Cheeto fake cheese flavor.

  2. I can think of quite a few foods that I must not purchase in larger quantities than I am prepared to eat at a single sitting. (Chocolate-covered dried cherries, for one.) Luckily my local supermarket has a bulk foods section that lets you buy small-ish quantities of quite a few things. (This is nice for spices, too — get a couple of teaspoons of cardamom instead of a huge jar that I’ll never finish.)

  3. My wife — if left unattended — will eat an entire bag of chips (mostly nacho chips but never Doritos). Thing is though, I can’t just come out and say, “Are you going sit there and eat that entire bag of chips?” so I have to say, “Can I have a few of those?” at which time she always hands the bag over and says “Keep it, I’m done.” ;-)

  4. Never seen the cinnamon ones, and am not particularly interested. At least they’re not Pumpkin Spice….

    But we’ve been buying the White Cheddar ones annually for years now, and enjoy them enormously.

  5. “These things are terrible, and also, I can’t stop eating them.”
    Sounds like they would pair well with Deathloop.

  6. Saw these a couple of years ago at my local Target, so I got a bag….and was deeply underwhelmed. Some things just don’t translate well into other forms. Threw the rest of the bag out, and even the raccoons, skunks and possum wouldn’t touch ’em.

  7. It’s a good thing for your health that you’re avoiding the white cheddar Bag of Bones, since those are delicious and are a staple iny household every Spooky Season. My partner will polish off an entire bag of them if she didn’t portion them out carefully, and when I brought a bag to a party a few years ago they EVAPORATED since everyone liked them so much.

  8. Cinnamon and sugar on Cheetos is an abomination. Ugh. I haven’t ever seen these, but since DH & I have both been working on losing weight for a couple of years now we mostly stay off the snack food aisle at the grocery store.

    On the other hand, if the white cheddar version were as good as the white cheddar Cheez-its I would be in serious trouble. That’s a snack food that I will definitely overindulge on.

  9. “What exactly is “white cheddar”?”

    It’s like white phosphorus, but cheese.

    Or, if you want the less credible answer: It’s cheddar that hasn’t been colored yellow or orange, and there is no difference in taste between white cheddar and the colored cheddar, but it allows them to say there are no artificial colors.

    But who would believe a crazy story like that?

  10. I had a burrito from Taco Bell like that once. Wasn’t even worth finishing and I sort-of-by-accident left it on the fire escape stairs where I was eating lunch. I’d use those stairs a few times a week, and saw the burrito was still there a couple of days later. Weird. This was in New Orleans. New Orleans has rats the size of dachshunds.

    It was still there a week later. At this point, I wasn’t going to pick it up because it became a science experiment.

    Two months later —two months— not only did the rats continue to avoid it, but it had not spoiled.

    I never ate anything from Taco Bell again.

    Anyway, a long way of saying that when the raccoons tell you what something is, believe them.

  11. “when the raccoons tell you what something is, believe them.”

    Interesting choice of ‘spirit animal, but, ok.

  12. I remember the first time my wife got “sweet” popcorn in the movie theater (or theatre, if you will) in London, and I almost puked. I do NOT want cheesy snacks with sweet rather than salty taste! Fie!

  13. Oh cool, these are available again? By “again” I mean, Cheetos used to put that flavor out but not in funky Halloween shapes. You’re right in that they’re not great but REALLY snackable, and they were also gluten-free, which is an important thing in my household because of allergies. They seemed to come and go from the markets at random. Thanks for the tip!

%d bloggers like this: