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This Man Needs a Haircut

Me, in black and white, looking rather shaggy.

I believe I’ve noted before that one of the big problems with being mostly bald is the thinner your hair is, the shorter it needs to be to look reasonably good. I am at point where “reasonably good” will require a clipping with a 5mm setting.

That said, I like this picture a lot. It’s not necessarily flattering, but it has character, and I’m at the stage of life where “character” is usually more interesting than “flattering.” Yes, this is a rationalization. Hush. I still like it.

— JS

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

15 replies on “This Man Needs a Haircut”

As one that is further along in their baldness journey, one of the discoveries to look forward to is learning how much even just a little hair contributes to warmth. I don’t have hardly anything on top now but a 5mm haircut still leaves my head noticeably colder.

On the bright side, windy days no longer mess up what’s left of my hair. 🙃

I’ve been for years going two (or three or four) months between haircuts and then by way of a basic buzzcutter getting to less a couple millimetters… if I was feeling in need of glamorousness or struggling with heat of summer then I’d shave everything but my eyebrows… I got the skull for it — Lex Luthor by way of Doctor Xavier — so why not?

Q: you ever try the shaved look? if so, I recommend reading up on ‘bald polish gleam like porcelain’ skin moisturizer… only sounds weird but usually looked rather effective… but that was back in the days when I was still dating ‘n mating

what I never did was get a photo of me with my cat… smiling with too many teeth and too much evil intent showing through… looking a bit much like a Bond villain

heh… Baron von Scalzi… you got the cats… the evil plan to conquer that fraction of the world labeled Ohio… a fem fatale babe able to kill with her bare hands… just gotta shave and practice your evil grin…

Because of the irregularity of the border between my expanding bald top and back and the remaining non-bald sides and low back of my head, I gave in and bought a head shaver. I’ve never been happier with the state of my hair, or where it once was. All bald isn’t necessarily beautiful, but it’s damn sure convenient.

A few years back my hubby abandoned the “long on top” look and went full Jean-Luc Picard. I personally love it. Shorter hair means more frequent maintenance, but Haircuts in the Time of COVID mean long gaps, and about 3 months in he gets what I call his “baby bird” look. When it gets to the point where a comb would be required, we drag out the buzzer and give it a shearing. He’s come to loathe having to comb his head.

I always wanted a big bushy beard but sadly, my beard hair is as straight as the hair that adorned my head for the first three decades of my life. I want one of those puffy pubic hair type beards but it’s not in the cards.

Also, I don’t have typical male pattern baldness but rather a very low density of hair on top of my head (I kind of wish I was officially bald) and I cut it myself with a set of clippers sans length-regulating attachments. I just sit upon a 14” high wheeled stool in my woodworking shop, lean over and let it fall to the floor to be vacuumed up when I’m done.

@Lym: THANKS!

now I have the name of my next grunge-accordion garage band… “Haircuts in the Time of Covid”… or maybe for our first TOP40s hit…

no… no… this will be a title in my comedy-horror saga (seven volumes) set in 2053 after 98% of the un-vax mutate into feral nightdwellers and begin an epic struggle with raccoons for control of the garbage cans of America

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