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Return of the Space Toilet: A One-Month Update

A month ago I wrote about our having installed a very fancy “intelligent toilet” and offered my initial reactions to it, and promised to do a follow-up about a month later. It’s now a month later, and here are my thoughts about the Space Toilet today:

1. I’m still delighted with my purchase, as the entire experience of an “intelligent toilet” is a posh and enjoyable one which everyone should try (although, probably, not on my intelligent toilet; I don’t want all of you tromping through my house to try it, sorry). It really does elevate the bathroom experience, enough so that I find myself going out of my way to use this toilet over any other in the house.

2. Indeed, at this point I’m a little annoyed with all the other toilets that they don’t automatically raise their lids and flush themselves once I’m done. Not so annoyed that I’m going to replace every other toilet in the house — that would be expensive and also would require rewiring every other bathroom on the property — but still mildly piqued. How dare they offer a basic loo experience that I was previously perfectly content with!

3. That said, I still can’t in good conscience recommend most people get themselves an “intelligent toilet,” because, really, it is so damn expensive. You can get a bidet toilet seat for a fraction of the cost, and while it won’t automatically raise the seat or flush the loo for you, you can get a heated seat and the bidet cleaning action, which really are the main attraction. I want to be clear I do not regret my “intelligent toilet” purchase — I am really happy with it — but also, I’m aware that ultimately it’s a bit of a folly. I might get bidet toilet seats for the rest of the toilets in the house. I’m not going to buy anymore intelligent toilets.

4. Side note: Whether you get a bidet seat or a full blown “intelligent toilet,” you will still need to use toilet paper in my experience. Not as much, and mostly for a slightly different purpose (which you will figure out after your first bidet use), but, still. In these days of intermittent supply chain issues, it’s a thing you should be aware of.

And there you have it: the Space Toilet, revisited.

— JS

By John Scalzi

I enjoy pie.

21 replies on “Return of the Space Toilet: A One-Month Update”

I’m amazed at the improvement my cheapo cold-water-only bidet attachment has made to my life. It was all of $40 — $90, if you include the toilet seat that’s made to fit with it. I can’t imagine what a really fancy toilet would be like.

The most important question, however:

What does Charlie think of it? Does the lid raise for Charlie when there’s an exploratory (naturally, because Charlie is a good dog, there’s no chance of drinking from the toilet, none at all) sidling up to it? Does the extra water sound disturb doggy naps?

We know that the cats just don’t care. It’s the dog whose opinion matters here.

The end of my bathroom remodel is now in sight. They started the four day project on December 27.

My space toilet has been operational for about as long as yours, and I agree with everything you wrote.

The experience of using it is … pleasant.

I second the use of bidet seat and the need to still use toilet paper albeit far less. The worst part is returning to work and having no access unless you live in a country like Japan.

Man, I knew there was a question I wanted to ask. We saw you in Richmond a couple weeks ago for a reading/Q&A, and afterwards I told my wife I should have asked about the space toilet. Glad to have an update.

We’re getting our bathroom redone next month, and I’m lobbying hard for a space toilet.

I’ve always loved the fact when I’m in Japan that so many of even public toilets are of the posh kind, so I wanted one for our own bathroom. It never happened, instead we went the opposite route: we now have a dry toilet instead! Less convenience (and less cool, of course) but lots of other upsides.

May I ask if the space toilet will flush when you’re still sitting on it? That would be quite the hint to s***t or get off the pot, if you know what I mean.

sigh

so many jokes, so few fingers

the snark just writes itself… from punning off movie/teevee titles all the way through to mocking decadence of soft-handed Americans whose empire will crumble as the manly-man World Soviet marches into inevitable victory… to… oh never could resist…

Star Trek: The Next Flush

Star Trek: Deep Flush Nine

Star Gate: BM-2

Star Wars: A New Hope For a Bidet

Shit’s Creek

The Nightly Bowel Movement Report

Dateline In Too Deep

Batman vs. The Royal Flush Gang

Believe it or not, there’s bidet toilet seats in one of the truck stops between Omaha and Kansas City. I usually need a toilet break there when I’m going to KC, but I’ve never worked up the nerve to try the bidet because, well, truck stop.
Glad yours is working out well for you.

Well, this nicely answers the question I had. All the hype I’d seen about bidets seems to imply that it entirely (er) eliminates the need for TP which—uh, no?

Also, one assumes, if the power goes out one still has to manually open the seat and operate the flush, which, phmph, get back to me when it’s truly fully automated….

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