I Was Left Unsupervised: A Twitter Thread
Recorded here for posterity, which will question why I bothered.
I have been left unsupervised.
They say we have strayed from the sight of God. I say, God sees all… And chooses inaction.
It is time to move humanity out of its comfort zone, beyond its antiquated ideas of what should and should not be. A new age is dawning. You are all witnesses.
They say genius is not understood in its time
Finally I know the infinite awe of Robert Oppenheimer as he beheld his terrible creation
We pause to let the flavors steep for a bit. Here's a dog whilst we wait.
Back to it
First, split the banana lengthwise and set it on the tortilla.
Step two: add the mayoreo to the center of the split banana.
Step three: time to add the gherkins!
Step four: lightly nestle macaroni salad to the side of the mayoreo-and-gherkin-filled banana.
Step five: gummy chicken feet at both ends of the banana, because, I mean, OBVIOUSLY
Step six: wrapped and rolled and into the microwave
Step seven: garnished with whipped cream and crushed Oreos. Charlie silently bears witness to history.
The all-important cross-section.
And now the moment you've all been waiting for and/or fearing was inevitable: the taste test.
Epilogue: To atone for my sins, I have made a donation to a local food panty serving my county. If you have somehow made it to the end of this thread, I encourage you to do likewise in your own community.
Also: Don't make Mayoreo. It's not good. Thank you.
(Food pantry, not food panty. LOOK I HAVE A STOMACHACHE OKAY)