Do You Want A Box For That?
Hey, everyone! I know I’ve been scarce here on the blog lately, what with the holidays and occasionally working once a week (and spending hours watching Tik Toks), I have just been swamped (and lazy)!
But I’m here today to talk about being healthy, or rather one of my attempts to become a healthier person through building new habits and changing old habits. Of course, the term healthy is subjective and looks different for everyone, but what I’m going to be addressing is just what I feel is healthiest for me, both physically and mentally.
I’m sure every one of us was taught from a young age to finish all the food on your plate, and not to waste food. Even if you were full and didn’t want anymore, don’t you know there’s starving kids out there? Obviously I don’t blame my grandma or great aunts for these kinds of things, but I’d be lying if I said it didn’t affect my mentality today.
For as long as I can remember, I have felt like I have to eat everything in front of me. I don’t want anything to go to waste, so even if I’m full I just have to push through and finish it. This has led to me constantly overeating for years, and now I am actively trying to unlearn that behavior.
I kind of hit a breaking point a few months ago where I realized that every time I ate a meal, I was painfully full afterwards. Like so stuffed that I was afraid my stomach would quite literally burst. And it was happening every day. I was doing it to myself, and I wasn’t sure why.
It was partially because I went out to eat at restaurants so often. The portions would be so big, and it was so delicious that I didn’t want to stop, and it cost money so obviously I didn’t want to leave any.
I was talking to my therapist about this problem of mine when she told me that when she has a meal like that, where it’s so delicious that you don’t want to stop eating it, she likes to get a box for it, and then she can have it again later. Not only does she not get overly full, but she gets to enjoy that same delicious meal, a second time.
Getting a box is such an obvious solution, I know, and I’m sure it’s something that almost everyone does without even thinking about it. But in my mind, getting a box felt pointless, because I wanted it all right this minute. It’s delicious food, why would I stop eating it and get a box, when I could just eat it all in one sitting (even if it was too much).
But when my therapist reframed it as “you get to eat it AGAIN”, it changed my view. And yes, that is a very “fat girl” viewpoint to have, but it works.
For the past couple months, I have been stopping before I overstuff myself, and I’ve been getting boxes practically everywhere I go. I haven’t been in pain from overeating in weeks! And let me tell you, those midnight leftovers hit different.
Getting my food in a box is only one step of many that I need to take to overcome my disordered eating habits, but one thing that goes hand in hand with getting boxes is not over-serving yourself in the first place.
Getting a box is a great solution for when you’re at a restaurant since you don’t control their portion sizes, but when you’re at home, the control can come from how much you put on your plate to begin with. So that’s another thing I’ve been working on. Why give yourself more than you can (comfortably) finish in the first place? There can be many answers to that question, and for me I think it was always just that my eyes were bigger than my stomach. I just love food, and I want to eat as much of it as I can.
The holidays are a hard time of year for anyone with food-related issues. Between the Christmas cookie parties, the festive and fun seasonal drinks and flavors, and of course Thanksgiving, the holiday dedicated to literally just food and eating. For basically a month straight, there is constantly food in front of your face, and you are expected to eat that food. Make sure you get a slice of your aunt’s homemade pumpkin pie, be sure you try the ham your mother spent all day cooking, don’t forget to have a bite of your grandpa’s famous jalapeno poppers.
It’s just… a lot. And I know everyone over-eats on Thanksgiving, it’s just what we’re supposed to do. But it feels like relapsing. It feels too familiar to how I felt every day not that long ago. And I don’t like feeling that way.
This whole post is really just to say, “hey look at me! I’m making progress on not overeating 24/7!” Have I lost any weight from doing this? No. Do I feel better anyways? Yes. I feel better about myself, and my choices. I am starting to feel like I really do have control over what I eat, and how much I eat, which is not how I’ve ever really felt before.
There’s so much good food to be had, especially around the holidays, but maybe I don’t have to hurt myself in an attempt to try it all.