Springtime in New York
It’s pretty all right, I guess. I’m in town for an event tomorrow (4/7) at the City Winery (details here, if you haven’t seen me write about it here already), and I got in a day early to get situated and to visit around the town.
As some of you may know, certain politicians from elsewhere have been saying mean things about the place, due to certain ex-president being charged with certain felonies, 34 of them to be exact. These certain politicians suggested the place was an urban hellscape and also smelled bad. Naturally I had to have a bit of fun with that on Twitter. It went a little something like this:
BEHOLD THE UNIMAGINABLE URBAN HELLSCAPE THAT IS NEW YORK CITY HOW DO HUMANS EVEN LIVE IN THIS PESTILENT SQUALOR
WHAT SORT OF UNHOLY MONSTERS OFFER THESE UNWHOLESOME IMPLEMENTS OF TORTURE FOR ANYONE TO PARTAKE OF IN PUBLIC NO LESS
THESE "FLOWERS" ARE PROBABLY CARNIVOROUS AND FED ON THE BODIES OF DRUG MULES AND OFF-OFF-BROADWAY THESPIANS
BEHOLD THEIR TEMPLE OF INIQUITY AND GODLESSNESS FRAMED BY LICENTIOUSNESS AND ALSO CHERRY BLOSSOMS
DON'T LET THIS TERRIBLE PLACE HYPNOTIZE YOU INTO COMPLACENCY FEAR IT AND EVERYWHERE SIDEWALKS AND TAXIS ARE PLENTIFUL AND MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE IS SPOKEN ON THE STREET
Also, for the record, it smells fine here.
In short, New York is lovely. I’m glad I’m visiting.