Springtime in New York
Posted on April 6, 2023 Posted by John Scalzi 22 Comments
It’s pretty all right, I guess. I’m in town for an event tomorrow (4/7) at the City Winery (details here, if you haven’t seen me write about it here already), and I got in a day early to get situated and to visit around the town.
As some of you may know, certain politicians from elsewhere have been saying mean things about the place, due to certain ex-president being charged with certain felonies, 34 of them to be exact. These certain politicians suggested the place was an urban hellscape and also smelled bad. Naturally I had to have a bit of fun with that on Twitter. It went a little something like this:
BEHOLD THE UNIMAGINABLE URBAN HELLSCAPE THAT IS NEW YORK CITY HOW DO HUMANS EVEN LIVE IN THIS PESTILENT SQUALOR
WHAT SORT OF UNHOLY MONSTERS OFFER THESE UNWHOLESOME IMPLEMENTS OF TORTURE FOR ANYONE TO PARTAKE OF IN PUBLIC NO LESS
THESE "FLOWERS" ARE PROBABLY CARNIVOROUS AND FED ON THE BODIES OF DRUG MULES AND OFF-OFF-BROADWAY THESPIANS
BEHOLD THEIR TEMPLE OF INIQUITY AND GODLESSNESS FRAMED BY LICENTIOUSNESS AND ALSO CHERRY BLOSSOMS
DON'T LET THIS TERRIBLE PLACE HYPNOTIZE YOU INTO COMPLACENCY FEAR IT AND EVERYWHERE SIDEWALKS AND TAXIS ARE PLENTIFUL AND MORE THAN ONE LANGUAGE IS SPOKEN ON THE STREET
Originally tweeted by John Scalzi (@scalzi) on April 6, 2023.
Also, for the record, it smells fine here.
In short, New York is lovely. I’m glad I’m visiting.
— JS
You haven’t been down to the subway yet, have you John?
I always wondered what the “T” stood for in LGBTQ.
Now I know it is Thespians!
Thank you, John!
This is one of my favorite times of year here in NY. Everything starts to come back to life after the winter. Not that we had much of a winter. No snow, even. Well, except for a wimpy dusting that melted in a few hours.
Those daffodils go wild at this time of year. They come up everywhere. You don’t even have to plant them, if you’re lucky. My front yard has an entire border, the yellow type, and I’ve no idea where they came from. I also have a patch of wild tulips that has appeared out of nowhere the past few years (I think it came out of a pot of soil I found and dumped). It’s lovely.
Any chance you are coming to Long Island during your trip?
I absolutely love New York…but let’s be honest, it doesn’t always smell fine.
Sometimes you really crack me up, sometimes I wanna give you a big hug. Of course there are also days when I just roll my eyes. Today’s post generated the first two without the third. Thanks!
Hi John,
NYC, my former home town. I’m trying to place where the photos were shot. Were you on Little Island at the pier? It was built after I left and I never got to experience it.
“I love New York in June/How about you?”
April is pretty damn nice too, as you have seen.
Can’t wait for my next visit.
It’s such a Hellhole that I’m moving back there in a couple months!
Well, the Tri-State area, at any rate, with convenient transit to NYC….
So many options…
Smells like…
a) MAGA fear
b) MAGA tears
c) Arraignment
d) Freedom
e) The rule of law
f) Unstolen elections
g) AOC! AOC! AOC!
h) All the above
As a NYC resident, I just want to know which park this is? It doesn’t appear to be Dumbo. Highline?
NYC smells fine. I’ve lived her 25 years, and been to all the boroughs but Staten Island. It’s a lovely city. The people are friendly, the place is easy to get around, and there’s lots of trees.
That’s nothing. People in northern ID fear the urban hellhole that is Spokane, WA, and buy long guns and ammo to prepare for the inevitable day civilization collapses, causing the mutant cannibal hordes of (checking) South Hill to sweep like locusts through their (checking) trailer parks.
Beautiful pictures.
@Pappenheimer
That’s nothing. People in northern ID fear the urban hellhole that is Spokane, WA….
And meanwhile, the politicians pretty much everywhere east of the 520 campaign on “vote for me… or this town will become…. SEATTLE.”
Meanwhile, we Seattlites are like “yeah, it is a urban hell on earth. Please don’t move here and drive up housing costs. It’s terrible and rains all the time.”
I wouldn’t want to live there but I love NYC, so this entire post was particularly hilarious.
Also, I loved that first picture, which shows at least one actual honey bee as distinct from one of the 20K other kinds of bees on the planet. :)
As someone who has lived in New York for (checks) 74 years, yeah, we have problems and sometimes it does smell (worse when certain politicians come to town), especially in the summer (and when we have a garbage strikes, though it has been decades since the last one).
You know what, though? You don’t like it (and I am looking at you, Congresswoman), stay home!
Dammit, John, now you made me homesick.
I don’t have anything against NYC. I’ve never been there. I just have no idea how anyone survives there.
aah, a virtual vacation in NYC. Thanks for the highlights :-)
Hilarious. I’m from Melbourne, Australia and love
visiting the NYC hellscape whenever possible.
@Ontogenesis
Well, Seattle was made a smoking ruin by CHOP, doncha know…..And those savage Brown people!*
(Who are almost all immigrant East and South Asians working in high tech, who’ve forced out all the Black people and Latina/o down southward…..)
Amy, to answer your question: New York is a BIG city. Most of us do NOT live in Midtown, or Manhattan for that matter.
New York City population: 8,800,000
Brooklyn: 2,736,000
Queens: 2,400,000
Manhattan: 1,695,000
The Bronx: 1,472,000
The rest live in Staten Island.
We survive in our own neigfhborhoods, pewriod.
Last time I was in New York, I had one of the top 3 steaks I had ever eaten in a tiny (8 tables) family run restaurant. Plus walked the High Line and visited Forbidden Planet and The Strand. I have spent most of my life living in smallish towns, and like New York. I think we could use more hellholes of scum and villainy like it.