Help Me, I’m Weak

Me: Dude, you do not need another guitar, especially another tenor guitar, and especially not a hollow body archtop tenor guitar, seriously, who even plays that shit out in the real world

Also me:

PS: It’s one of these. Also, it’s a fuckin’ delight.

— JS

37 Comments on “Help Me, I’m Weak”

  1. Gear Acquisition Syndrome is a serious affliction, my friend, one with no cure.

  2. One of the most beautiful you have purchased so far, and it sounds great. I am not faulting your purchase. Maybe this one will become your #1.

  3. After the first few, aren’t guitars more of a WANT thing than a NEED thing?

    Look how pretty it is!

    Your music lair is a haven from the real world and you can play whatever you want in there, right?

    ‘They said: you have a blue guitar.
    You do not see things as they are.
    ‘The man replied: Things as they are
    Are changed upon the blue guitar.’
    — Wallace Stevens, The Man with the Blue Guitar, 3-6

  4. If it makes you happy, and if purchasing it won’t make it difficult/impossible to afford essentials, then it is worth the money.

    From what you’ve said about That Big Damned Contract, I’m guessing a guitar won’t put essentials out of reach for you. Unless, of course, you take a hankering for a diamond-encrusted guitar, but I’m guessing the sound quality would suffer.

    Have fun with your newest toy.

  5. Are you taking bread out of your kids mouths? From their college funds? No? Then you have your answer: “Also, it’s a fuckin’ delight.”
    We only go around once. Better enjoy it. Even as a wall hanger.
    Get your wife something really nice on her next birthday. All will be forgiven.

  6. Now that’s a pretty one! But as Devin noted above, Gear Acquisition Syndrome is a real plague. You won’t know if you have it until it’s far too late, unfortunately.

  7. Me: You do not need a $350 stethoscope.
    Litmann: it has an app, can record sounds, can analyze murmurs.
    Me: take my money now.
    Sigh. I understand. That guitar is beautiful and yes you need it.

  8. Based on what I hear from my friends, you haven’t reached the point of having too many guitars until Krissy insists you sell/give away one before you’re allowed to acquire a new one.

  9. Pro tip 1: Seek help. dude.
    Pro tip 2: Do not, under any circumstances, ever enter McCabe’s Guitar Shop in Santa Monica.

  10. I had that for a while with fountain pens. I have it some with mechanical pencils (which are at least cheaper). The problem is that I always think the next one will satisfy me and it never does, so I try to buy fewer now because I know that. I have less room (financial and physical), though than you, though.

    It probably doesn’t matter unless it matters to the SO. At least, unlike cocaine, it won’t kill you.

  11. That is a really good price if it is a good guitar. I doubt it is that great sounding at that price. If it does sound good and you like playing it, then that is a steal of a deal.

    Have you had the chance to play one? That will tell you everything.

    It is gorgeous!

  12. That is a beautiful musical instrument! Nice investment.

    Every time you write about your music, I move that much closer to starting to play my piano again. I keep saying I’ll do it when I retire, but as I have no idea at all when that will be, I think it’s time to call the piano tuner.

  13. Ooo, she’s pretty. I played an Epiphone hollow body in the Jazz band. I loved the warmer tones she made, but I could make her scream if need be.

  14. Honestly, I would be of no help at all. I don’t need anymore board games but a teacher gave me an Amazon Gift Card for presenting to her class today so I pretty much HAVE to get that board game on my wish list right?

  15. Look, I’m going to give this to you straight, Scalzi. You don’t need this. I don’t think it’s that you really want this. I think the attraction you feel is that you want it in order to give it to me as a surprise at Con-Gregate. I promise I’ll be completely surprised.

  16. David T Rickard:

    I’ve been there several times. I’ve even seen a concert there. The only thing that kept me from buying anything was the fact I’d have to carry them back to Ohio on a plane.

  17. I don’t know. You’ll figure it out I guess.

    Just don’t start collecting parrots. That’s the one thing to keep in mind.

    Thoughts and prayers.

  18. As a fellow guitar player, I understand the feelings you are having. Remember, the perfect number of guitars is: just one more.

  19. My wife and I owned a music store for nearly a decade. Eastwood does a good build for the money. Also, ignore the angel sitting on your shoulder. You ABSOLUTLEY need that in your life.

  20. My inability to resist every new kind of candy I see is probably cheaper. But that guitar thing of yours has GOT to be healthier. :)

  21. Buy it. Play it for a year then auction it off with the proceeds going to the Scalzi Foundation. Or – play it for five years then auction it. It will be worth more then because you can truthfully claim that your smash hit was composed and played on that instrument.

  22. John

    Never listen to “Me”. He’s a downer and besides, what does “He” know?

  23. …who even plays that shit out in the real world…

    Dude, you are a man who rocks a six-neck electric guitar in the comfort of your Basement Music Room. The “real world” don’t mean nothin’ to you.

  24. I have more fishing poles than ‘the number of times I went fishing last year’. They whine and accuse me of neglect.

    I am a candidate for a ‘de-cluttering intervention’…

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