Fani Willis Says “Bless Your Heart” To Jim Jordan

And as we all know, a southern woman saying “Bless Your Heart” means “Go Fuck Yourself.”

Which is indeed, the substance of Fulton County District Attorney Fani Willis’ reply to House Judiciary Chairman Jim Jordan’s August 24th letter to her, in which he essentially tried to threaten her with congressional oversight for intending to put former president Trump on trial for numerous charges relating to election tampering. Her response was, essentially, you can’t, you’re an ignorant tool, I can do as I please, and also, go fuck yourself.

The letter in itself is a delicious work of art, with pity nuggets like “Your letter makes clear that you lack a basic understanding of the law,” and “Those who wish to avoid felony charges in Fulton County, Georgia — including violations of Georgia RICO law — should not commit felonies in Fulton County, Georgia.” I commend it to you all, but if you don’t wish to read the whole thing, here’s this Atlanta Constitution-Journal news article about it, with Willis’ response and Jordan’s initial letter appended (those outside the US might find the article GDPR-restricted, but I’m sure you know how to use Google to locate the news for your jurisdiction).

Jim Jordan is well known for being a corrupt dimwitted opportunist bully with even fewer principles than brain cells, so it’s nice to see him get taken to the woodshed by someone both smarter and more principled than he. I’m sure Jordan will bluff and bluster and make noise about it, because he’s not smart enough (nor otherwise sees any advantage) to be ashamed of himself, so the rest of us will just have to be ashamed for him. As a citizen of Ohio, I sure am! Please stop electing him, OH-4! You can do better, in so many ways.

— JS

31 Comments on “Fani Willis Says “Bless Your Heart” To Jim Jordan”

  1. My understanding is that the phrase “Bless Your Heart” is a bit more versatile than what you’ve said. I once heard it referred to as “a Southern woman’s Swiss army knife.”

  2. DA Willis’s letter is the most beautiful example of a brutal bitchslap I’ve seen in a long time.

  3. I agree that the letter was lovely, but I doubt it will have much effect other than the momentary satisfaction it gives us to read it. Jordan is a deeply unserious person with no shame and no interest in actually governing; the demand he sent, like everything else he does, was purely political theater and not really intended for Willis at all.

  4. Lisa R. Hirsch: I have to break it to you that Willis is also bringing RICO charges against protesters working to stop Cop City in Atlanta.

    Uh–I don’t think so? Same Grand Jury, but Willis’s office doesn’t seem to be involved:
    https://atlpresscollective.com/2023/09/05/georgia-attorney-general-brings-rico-indictments-against-61-activists/

    In case the link doesn’t work, or the article is tl;dr: “Greg Bluestein of the Atlanta Journal Constitution reported that the grand jury used to indict former President Donald Trump and his associates on RICO charges in August was also used to indict the Stop Cop City activists. While Trump’s indictments are being prosecuted by Fulton County District Attorney (DA) Fani Willis, the Fulton DA’s office does not appear to be prosecuting the Stop Cop City RICO cases.”

    Not sure if that matters to your point, really, but I thought it was maybe worth noting .

  5. Lisa, from what I can tell, the Cop City indictment is being brought by Christopher Carr, not by Willis.

  6. Well, bless all their little fascist, traitorous hearts.

    I can’t wait to see all these bastards fry and I’m willing to supply the oil!

    Great post as always John.

  7. With respect, John: bullshit to your first line. I am a Southern woman. In fact I’m a sixth generation Southern woman. I was raised by Southern grandmothers, great-grandmothers, great-aunts, and a mother, all of whom were born and raised in Southern culture. “Bless your heart” was NEVER used disparagingly. Never. Let me say that again, in case you missed it: never. “Bless your heart” was meant literally, as a term of affection and endearment. The women of my Southern family had absolutely no compunction about speaking their minds, far from it, and if one of them had occasion to deliver a discouraging word you’d get it, with the bark on. No need for this passive-aggressive bullshit I now see and hear everywhere. So while YOU may think that’s what Southern women mean, and even people from a different South than mine may labor under such a delusion, I’m here to tell you that your interpretation has never been the default. The culture may be changing (for the worse—when did Southern women get so mealy mouthed?), but it was historically not the case. “Bless your heart” means exactly that.

    Please note that this WILL be on the mid-term.

  8. With all due respect to both Mr. Scalzi and Ms. Stegall I am also a multi generational southerner and not a young one either. When used by a southern lady “bless your heart” can mean many things from Mr. Scalzi’s Go Fuck Yourself to Ms. Stegall’s sincere expression of empathy and many things in between. It depends on all many different factors that this simple man is not subtle enough to fully comprehend.

  9. As an rule I try to gauge the meaning of “Bless your heart” by the saccharine content. If the tone is painfully sweet, the meaning is more likely to be “Up yours.”

    Note – this is from personal experience, not from watching Steel Magnolias.

    Pappenheimer

  10. Sarah Steagall:

    You’ll have to take it up with the several other southern women of my experience who have told me in no uncertain terms rather the opposite of your assertion, I’m afraid.

    I do agree context is important. The context in this case is unmistakable.

  11. Delightful read. Hands down, my favourite line: “I encourage you to read ‘RICO State-by-State.’ As a non-member of the bar, you can purchase a copy for $249.”

  12. The greatest thing I’ve learned to say since living here in the south is Bless Your Heart or, just Bless. Hmm, going to have to look up the sign language for it.

  13. @Derryl Murphy

    …their billboard top ten hits with include: “Politician BitchSlapppp!” and “Better To Bite a Rattlesnake Than Disrespect Fani Willis” and “I Called Top Bunk But Trump Whined Till I Caved In” and “After Three Hours of Sharing The Cell With Trump I Hanged Myself”

  14. I remember not long ago when I was on NextDoor for some reason, I saw a comment from someone who lives in his district. It was something to the effect of, “We’re so lucky to have him.” I nearly swallowed my tongue.

    So no. I don’t think the people in his district can do any better because I don’t think they know any better. :(

  15. For a more thorough understanding of Georgia’s RICO statute, its application and similar laws in other states, I encourage you to read “RICO State-by-State.” As a non-member of the bar, you can purchase a copy for two hundred forty-nine dollars [$249].

  16. Northerner currently living in the south. Bless her/his/their/your heart is definitely multifaceted as noted above.

    Bless his/her/their/your soul a bit less so— that always seems to be negative though sometimes about intelligence and sometimes more of a ha no, FU. At least around here.

  17. @Donna Hurst Ohio is so badly gerrymandered (the current districts were declared unconstitutional by the state supreme court and the legislature just shrugged and said “Oh well, anyway’) that who knows what a fairly drawn OH-4 would be like.

    I was a resident of OH-12 for a several elections and I voted against Kasich and Tiberi every time and it did me no good. There are plenty of sane people trapped in these districts with crank representatives.

  18. I think my favourite part is where she tells the asshole, “Since you have so much free time, here are the things you SHOULD be doing to help.”

  19. The proper derogatory term is “Bless your little pea picking heart”.

    Even better than just the letter is how much Brian Kemp and his following Republicans are standing behind her.

    I have been an Independent voter since my first registration and I have never been able to vote for anyone, always against someone else.

    This time I have decided to vote for something and that thing is humanity. I am doing that both to show support of those being de-humanized and those who cannot speak for themselves, like all the Medicare kids unjustly deprived of proper medical coverage by and ego stroking governor and presidential candidate.

    Please do not be derogatory of my failure to capital those offices, it is a statement on my part.

  20. would have been funnier if rather than “see exhibits F through O” it had been “see exhibits F through A” and then a sentence later “see outcomes as per exhibits F through O”

    come the day, there’s gonna be a bit of overcrowding in Georgia prisons… what luck that the Felon-in-Chief is so good at completing real estate projects on time and on budget

    sorry… my libel preventative browser add in stripped out my sarcasm…

    what bad luck that the Felon-in-Chief is not so good at completing real estate projects not on time and not on budget

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